Peridot: The Final Logs
by Shinneth
Summary: Peridot found another way to log the details of her life, but they're not reports of her findings. They're direct messages to each member of the Crystal Gems only to be seen under certain specific conditions. Follows directly after Gem Ascension Part 2. Definitely read up to that point before you even touch this.
1. Garnet

**Notes:**

So, I made a bit of a lie by omission here... only because it would have massively spoiled the main story if I brought it up. Gem Ascension is not just a 3-act deal; once I got to a certain point, it would have a side-story to fit in details that would otherwise overload Part 3. And given how ungodly massive Part 2 is, you'll probably appreciate me alleviating the next part of this kind of weight. For the record, I had this set-up planned from the get-go, well before I realized how long I'd end up making Part 2.

And... yeah, Gem Ascension is practically required reading to fully get this. If you got through Part 1 and haven't yet finished Part 2 but intend to, for the love of god just finish Part 2 first. If you're just gonna barrel ahead into this anyway without any of the context, by all means, have fun with that! I know I've been guilty of it before; I can't judge.

I also took another approach to this and finished two chapters before posting the story. I wanted to get an idea of how long these things can get, and thank the lord these are actually very reasonable lengths. Aside from maybe the last part of this, this first one will be the biggest since it includes an immediate fallout from Part 2 scene that includes everybody. The following part is about a little more than half the length, so that's what I expect future chapters to be. Hope you enjoy, everybody! I'm just making it worse for myself with all this Part 3 hype, ya think?

* * *

"Garnet… how long have you known?"

Steven's voice broke the silence that permeated the remaining Crystal Gems inside the PeriLuck en route to Earth. Outside of the light cries and sobs that came out of certain team members right after Peridot's final message to the group concluded, no one was in any mood to be chatty. The mission was technically a success; the Crystal Gems made it out of Homeworld with far more people than they had coming in, but losing even one to the rescue effort made this feel like a devastating loss.

"Steven," she said softly after a short pause. She knew if she took too long to answer, it would rile up the boy. "Now is not the time to be talking about this."

But that answer didn't satisfy Steven in the least. "Is it because everyone else is here?" he challenged. "You know they'll get mad if they find out. They'd never forgive you if they knew you could've made it to end some other way!"

Steven's words drew the others' attention, but no one had it in them to back him up. None looked to Garnet expecting an answer, either. The only one who wasn't beside themselves with grief was Pearl, and that's only because she was hard at work on something with Peridot's tablet. She had a few dodecahedron-cut prisms sitting nearby; their purpose not made obvious to anyone yet.

"Steven, please," Pearl urged in Garnet's defense. She tried her best to fight off a tear coming up, as her eyes remained focused on her work. "It isn't right to start shifting blame onto others. This is hurting all of us… and no perspective on what happened will be enough to–" Pearl couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence.

"I know that," Steven mumbled. "I'm not _that_ naïve. But if you saw what I saw… you'd want some answers too, Pearl. Besides… aren't you the _last_ one who should be telling me how to deal with loss?"

That was below the belt. Pearl's body jerked back as if she had been jabbed in the gut. She lost her composure and had to cover her face to keep the tears at bay. At that point, Garnet rose from her seat and faced the crew behind her – but kept her focus on Steven.

"Steven, I will tell you everything I know in a moment, on the condition that you stop attacking your friends," she ordered. "Pearl is doing something very important right now – something Peridot would have wanted. When she finishes, I will need to address everyone for a short time… then, I will answer you to the best of my ability. But before any of that happens, you will apologize to Pearl right here, right now." She put her hands on her hips, leaning forward as if she meant to get in Steven's face, though he was a whole row behind her. "And it had better be genuine; I will be able to tell the difference."

Besides Steven, Bismuth and Lapis felt an inner chill from that tone; it felt like déjà vu. That was odd, as this was the first time the two had been united with the Crystal Gems outside a hostile environment. They were now a part of the group discussion as much as any of the mainstays. What felt familiar to them was that ominous tone… they both soon realized Peridot had, at times, laid down the law in a very similar fashion while they were on Earth, as well as their trip to Homeworld. Lapis especially realized some of the times she interpreted Peridot's approach to be a regression back to her former persona actually felt much more like Garnet's tough-but-fair style. That wasn't to say she didn't see the Pre-Earth Peridot in her actions at all (how she handled getting Yellow Pearl's gemstone was _very_ much that), but it helped offer clarity to some moments when she couldn't read her former leader. In hindsight, it made perfect sense: Peridot made it no secret that she admired Garnet and looked up to her. Of course, that's why she was so insistent on claiming Garnet's role during their Crystal Temp days. And knowing Peridot's inherent praise-hungry nature, Lapis figured any praise coming from Garnet would hold more weight than anyone else's… besides Steven's, clearly.

Lapis was the one sitting next to Steven; Pumpkin had also curled up by her feet. She looked over nervously to Steven, hoping he would be compliant. No one wanted to hear an argument break out right now… but given that Lapis had been poofed during the entire escape sequence, she did share sentiments with Steven about the details. All she knew was that Peridot didn't make it, and that really wasn't enough for her. She just didn't have it in her to demand the details like Steven did.

Steven, meanwhile, shifted in his seat uncomfortably. He regretted what he said to Pearl the second the last word left his mouth. But he couldn't help it; the scene kept playing over and over in his head, and no doubt would continue to do so in his dreams for a long time. He found Garnet acting super suspiciously, but it wasn't the time or the place to call her out on it then. Now, he could do it. He wanted everyone to know the experience the two of them felt. For most, their last impression of Peridot was her order to escape and not look back. For Greg, his was the moment Peridot wished him well and promised him the safe return of his son. Pumpkin… she got a heartwarming goodbye hug around the same time. Lion last saw Peridot shortly after the team rescued the original Crystal Gems. And then there was Lapis, who last saw her former leader just before she buddied up with Bismuth to embark on the last leg of their journey. She had been so fixated on the pallid Blue Diamond that she didn't even acknowledge Peridot participating in the battle.

They all deserved to know the full story, and Steven would make sure Garnet gave that to them… because she was the only one who had the entirety of that story.

"I'm sorry, Pearl; it was… really low of me to resort to that," Steven apologized; he no longer had that adamancy in his tone. "I know you're just trying to help keep the peace, and… you're not wrong about the blame thing. I just want you all to know what really happened… and Garnet's the only one who can give us that."

Pearl looked to Steven an offered a soft, appreciative smile. "Very good, Steven," she commended. "I understand your anger all too well. When we get home, let's have a talk. I feel like outside of how the mission ended, there's more for me to learn about. You did pick up Garnet, Amethyst, and myself rather late in the game, as I understand it."

" _Way_ late," Lapis confirmed.

"Me and Lapis don't mind givin' you all a full report when we get home," Bismuth offered. "Some… crazy stuff happened when it was still just the three of us. Steven, Connie… you probably know what I mean."

They both solemnly nodded. "I've been wanting to know how all that happened," Connie admitted. "I just didn't think it was the right time to ask about it. I mean, it really wasn't."

" _She_ told me some stuff about it," Steven admitted. "While I was healing her, that is. Is it really a good idea to talk about her this much, after what happened? Everything feels… too soon."

"I don't think Peri would want you keeping that bottled up to yourself, Ste-man," Amethyst offered. "Besides, she always liked being the center of attention. I think she'd like us spending a lot of time talking about her. We'll probably have a lot of Peri-related stuff in our heads when we open her messages to us… I say we have some downtime when we hit Earth and just… take it in, y'know."

"Amethyst is right," Garnet affirmed. "The best way to heal from a loss like this is to remember the good times, any times… and share those memories with your friends." She looked to the still-working Pearl. "How far along are you?"

Pearl looked up from the tablet. "Done," she confirmed. "So, which files get loaded into these?" She held up one of the prisms.

"Whomever does not own a digital device to receive Peridot's files," Garnet answered. "Bismuth is most certainly such a case. Does anyone else not have a device to receive Peridot's message?"

Lapis raised her hand. "She tried, but Peridot could not endear me to those things at all."

Greg also raised a hand. "I have a phone, but with my phone plan the way it is on a budget and all… I'll take a natural alternative."

"Confirmed," Pearl stated to the laptop. "Copying files for Greg, Bismuth, and Lapis." She held up three of the prisms and brought them nearby the tablet, which projected three lights into each respective prism. They glowed brightly before being reduced to a faint glow from the core. "And, success! Here you go, Garnet."

Garnet accepted the crystals and took an extra for reasons yet unknown. She passed them out to their respective recipients. "I'm sure you've all gathered from observing me that Peridot entrusted her equipment to me, as well as ensuring all messages be properly sent."

Steven looked conflicted. "Did–… did she know, too?" He quietly asked himself.

"I would follow Peridot's advice and wait until you are by yourself to hear her message to you," Garnet advised. "She did not say to keep it a secret after the fact, so I will permit discussion on the subject once you've listened to your message. As Amethyst said, Peridot would appreciate the attention we give her. Are we all in agreement?"

Garnet received a mixture of silent nodding heads and some tired-sounding affirmations. She couldn't blame them; it had been a long day.

"Now, Steven," she said firmly, turning her attention to him again. "I will not skirt around the subject: you suspect I knew this outcome all along. Because I had a vision… is that correct?"

Steven nodded, now back to looking frustrated. "You had to have. Why else wouldn't you meet halfway with Peridot and get her here in time? You shut me down the second I said it! Was _fate_ so important that Peridot just _had_ to die because of it?!"

"Steven," she said calmly after an audible huff. "We don't know for sure that Peridot lost her life. There's a very good chance she's still alive right now, but that's a discussion for another time… once we're home." The very concept of that possibility pacified Steven notably. He of course wanted to ask questions about that, so Garnet was quick to shut it down. The leader knew they would need to get through this one step at a time; not stumble over several at once. "As for the vision… yes, I had one just after we split into small teams towards the end of the mission. Rather, Sapphire did, and had difficulty making sense of it until the point came that she, Ruby, and Peridot separated from the group."

"Oh, so when Ruby told us about the flood of pale walkers coming our way," Amethyst recalled. She was the closest to that trio before the separation, so naturally Ruby found her and Steven first and was the reason the quartz picked up on the detail so quickly. "Got it."

Garnet nodded. "At that time, Sapphire pulled Peridot aside and they both settled into a hiding spot. Sapphire had just realized the meaning of the vision, and due to the nature of it… she knew she had to inform her leader of what she foresaw of our upcoming battle. If you would like, I can show you all precisely what Sapphire showed Peridot, so you can better understand why events played out the way they had.

It was unanimous among the other Crystal Gems that they wanted to see this vision for themselves. Garnet placed the extra prism into her palm, directly over Sapphire's gemstone. She lifted it up, the prism shined, and emitted light that transferred to the main screen of the ship. There was the same colorless, grainy and choppy visual Peridot first saw. It wasn't long before someone asked about the most apparent oddity to it.

"Why is everyone shifting into someone else in these scenes?" Connie asked. "I can tell that's us fighting the pallids, but… I don't understand."

"Remember this detail," Garnet advised her. "Since the moment has passed, I can alter this to accurately reflect the events as they happened." She did so, and the shifting stopped. Garnet and Connie were together wiping out the remaining pallid grunts while the rest of the team faced off against Blue Diamond. The scene then shifted to the terrified standing Yellow Diamond and the very lifeless Blue in front of the ominous, towering White Diamond. "This is the point where Peridot ordered for the escape. I'll leave the rest of this untouched, so you all may experience what she did when Sapphire first presented this vision to her."

And that, of course, was the running through the tunnel sequence. The character-shifting feature had returned, and it extended even to the avatar that Peridot had taken place of. Many people left safely, but two remained, not counting the main avatar. The remaining three made their way to the exit; the two stragglers made it to the exit while the avatar inexplicably fell forward before reaching the goal. The vision became distorted, but what was clearly seen was the PeriLuck blasting off outside, escaping, as the avatar's vision faded to black. Then everyone nearly jumped out of their seat when the flickering White Diamond jump scare followed not long after. Garnet grit her teeth and waved her hand to halt the vision back to black. She had forgotten that horrifying face that no doubt had Peridot with her now.

When the avatar had stopped shifting just as it fell unconscious, it ultimately settled on the form of Amethyst.

"W-wait, hold on!" Amethyst freaked out. "You're telling me _I_ was the one who had to die back there?!"

"Not quite," Garnet replied. "Watch the sequence again without any alterations made… other than I'll know where to pause this vision now," she said with mild embarrassment.

The scene played once more, only now Pearl was the remaining. "Oh…! It could have been me…?"

Garnet turned to everyone. "Should I show this again, or have any of you caught on already?"

Lapis regarded the entire thing with suspicion. "Is this _exactly_ what Peridot saw?" she asked. "Body and all?"

"Not at all; she first saw Bismuth, then myself on a second viewing. Peridot asked if it could happen to her, and I showed that possibility as well. The only one this couldn't have happened to is you, Lapis, because of the state you were in by this time."

"So, your vision didn't bother to warn you about Blue Diamond poofing me?" the aqua gem asked, a bit offended at the notion.

Garnet offered a small shrug. "I did tell you there are blind spots in this vision; this is common with any I have. Just like how we couldn't find out why the remaining fell, we did not see any indication that you had been reduced to your gemstone form."

"I get it," Connie understood. "The reason it's shifting our positions like this is because it couldn't be determined who would be where; only what they will do. Any one of us could have been the last to leave… but no matter who that last one was, they would end up falling… and not make it in time."

"And now you understand," Garnet affirmed. "When Sapphire told Peridot this vision could not be changed, because she did try, she told her that as leader of the Crystal Gems, she needed to see this to ensure the safety of her team… and determine who gets left behind."

"Y-you put her in that position?!" Steven was horrified. "O-or Sapphire did, I guess… but still! Why would you put her through that?!"

Garnet smiled a little when she saw a particular color shine in her prism. "Would you like to hear what she said when Sapphire posed that question to her?" Literally everybody nodded. Garnet let a medium-quality audio with feedback echo through the entire ship.

" _Are you nuts?! Just because I'm the leader of a team doesn't mean I have the right to decide someone's fate like that!"_

A few members of the team stifled their sniffles just hearing Peridot's voice again; especially in a tone that matched how they remembered her. But the words… it hurt to hear them from her.

"When I hear that, I can't help but think…" A teary Lapis looked to Bismuth. "Did we make her grow up too fast?"

"I haven't known her long enough to know, to be honest…" Bismuth glumly said. "But it still breaks my heart hearin' that… I feel bad for ever doubting her now."

"Self-sacrifice doesn't seem like something Peridot would do voluntarily," Pearl noted, as she held her hands together in an attempt to calm down. "Because she must have insisted on being the last one to leave. She knew all along she wasn't going to make it, that entire battle!"

"I can't believe she'd just throw her life away like that!" Amethyst sounded bitter, but her damp cheeks indicated this hit her hard, too. "She's always on about how rational and logical she is… so why would she just jump in to take the hit even though she was head of the team at the time?!"

Garnet smiled, but couldn't stop a single tear falling from underneath her visor. "You all need to hear what she said to Sapphire a minute later. She had apologized to Peridot; she knew showing her that vision would make her volunteer herself for the sacrifice. But when Sapphire worded it that way, Peridot became angry…" She waved her hand over the prism once it had that fleeting bright green glint again.

" _When did I ever say I would be sacrificing myself? Of course I'm going to be the one who stays behind. It's my job to keep the Crystal Gems safe, so I_ _ **have**_ _to be the last one to leave. But I have no intention of sacrificing myself, Sapphire. I'm going to do everything in my power to make it to the ship. Your vision has so far shown me no reason to "sacrifice" anything. The ship left as intended, and everyone else seemed to get in just fine. So I refuse to call it a sacrifice based on what you've given me. Honestly, self-sacrifice is so glorified these days. Like people think it's noble to intentionally abandon the people who love them in the name of giving yourself up for some greater good._ _ **Get out of here**_ _with that crap! If I end up never leaving here, it won't be for my lack of trying. I promise you that, Sapphire!"_

That shut everybody up for a good while… before more audible crying commenced from multiple parties. Garnet let a few more tears fall as she waited for her teammates to get it out of their system.

"I – why does that make this feel worse, then?!" Lapis asked to no one in particular. "If she really tried…"

"Steven." Said young man looked to Garnet. "Would you do the honor of recounting the details? I can do it if you're not comfortable."

"I…" Steven wiped his eyes. He'd seen it all, and hearing Peridot's voice saying this… he understood it now. It wasn't some thoughtless self-sacrifice; the gem he adored really did everything in her power to not become a casualty. "I might need some help… but I'll try," he decided.

"Hold on, wait," Connie interrupted. She too cried, but tried to fight off the urge to continue. "Garnet, we didn't get away without any problems, remember? The vision shows our ship taking off – it never shows that it was tethered to the chute at first. We were really stuck!"

"The vision is not always 100% accurate," Garnet stated. "But the problem seemed to resolve itself– "

" _No!"_ Connie shouted, cutting her off. "That's not what happened. I saw out the window where I was seated… I-I saw Peridot! She was still inside, but she saw we were having problems!"

"I saw that too," Bismuth backed her up. "It was a little hard to make out, but it looked like she was trapped behind a door. She looked banged up."

"Something happened to her face," Amethyst added; she was also a witness. "Like her visor got all messed up. She was just sitting there, but she saw us, and… and I think she helped us escape."

Connie and Bismuth nodded in agreement. This surprised the others, even Garnet. She ended up hitting her head rather hard upon entry to the ship while protecting Steven, so she was left a bit disoriented for a little while.

"Connie, tell me what she did!" Steven begged. "I need to know!"

Connie was a little put-off with how adamant yet desperate Steven was, but she relented without resistance. "Like I said, the distance made it hard to tell for sure, but… I saw her lift an arm up, and that's when we heard the hatch close on the chute and break it. Once it got all the way through, we were off."

"The hatch _is_ made of metal," Bismuth noted. "She and I designed this ship… so she'd know how to manipulate that mechanism."

"Which is awesome that P-Dot did that for us, but I don't get it," Amethyst confessed. "If she could use her powers to close the hatch, why didn't she open the door she was locked behind?"

Garnet looked to Steven. "It's your turn. Tell them what we saw."

Steven settled himself down, closed his eyes, and bowed his head. "It probably wouldn't have taken much for Peridot to control something she created; especially something that small. The door… the door was huge. And she was running so hard to make it… all just so she'd– she'd…"

"She would have made it," Garnet continued for him. "Had she not tripped over. You all should… know how Peridot is about that… and she had been good about avoiding it until now. She was so excited thinking she made it, she lost her footing… and instead of coming to us, Peridot tripped while running so fast, her head collided with the door that shut her out."

"It broke her visor," Steven added, having decided to pick himself back up. "At least her gem didn't get cracked, but… sh-she was really out of it once she got up. I tried to break the door down myself, but it wasn't enough. White Diamond was on her way, so I don't think Peridot had the time to mess with the door in her… usual Peri way. And she couldn't even stand anymore after that… never mind lift up a giant door. She kept agreeing with Garnet and wanted me to get on the ship so bad… I guess so that I wouldn't have to see what I did."

Garnet walked over and patted Steven on the shoulder. "She was determined not to let fate run her life, but she was rational enough to understand it still might happen no matter what she did. In the event of that, she wished to spare you. I should have known your… feelings would be too strong to control in such a situation. Perhaps she should have taken that into account, but… no one is perfect."

Steven leaned against Garnet, no longer feeling any animosity towards her. "Even at the end, she didn't want us to see her break down. She just smiled and laughed at us like it was funny. It was sweet, but… I could tell. Something in her just… broke. I don't blame her. I couldn't keep up an act like that if it happened to me."

"She didn't want us to feel bad for making it out," Garnet believed. "And she wanted to make sure we knew she held no ill will against us because this happened… especially me." She sighed and grasped the prism in her hand. "I am curious what words she left for me now. But it won't be long before we reach Earth; we should wait until then to open our messages. I recommend we go our separate ways just for a day. We need to give Connie, Steven, and Greg some time to sleep as well. There's a remote chance Peridot may have hidden clues in her messages; everyone should listen carefully to her words. Once we had a day to refresh, we may regroup at the Temple and make a decision on what to do from here on out."

Everyone nodded to the Crystal Gems leader. Now that nothing but Peridot's fate was a mystery to anyone any longer, the rest of the trip home was much calmer. Everyone knew what they wanted to do after taking some time to recharge: the exact same thing Peridot did that got them back to Earth in the first place.

* * *

Garnet retreated to the Burning Room upon returning home. None of her teammates would be too far away from each other during their day of rest; not even the isolation-prone Lapis strayed far this time. Garnet hoped everyone would be empowered by whatever message Peridot made for them; the fusion herself was not nervous about what she was in for, but she was curious. This had to have been recorded before Garnet reformed on Homeworld, so anything they talked about there would be a non-factor. She still held on to Peridot's tablet; she was entrusted with it, after all, and Garnet vowed she would return it to her whenever they met again. But with this, Garnet had easy access to the files Peridot had made for everyone. She was only interested in one file, however. Only one. She pressed play and was surprised this log wasn't just an audio file - it was a video, and once again Peridot was in view, though a bit more animated than she had been in the preface video on the ship. It was nighttime when she took this, and she seemed to be pacing back and forth just outside the beach house.

" _... Log Date TTC: 21 hours…_

 _Hello, Garnet. You've probably heard this a million times already because I prefer to be over-prepared than under, but if you're watching and listening to this right now, I obviously did not survive the Homeworld mission to save you and your friends. I think I can "live" with that, considering you made it out… and if you made it out, obviously everyone else must have. You are the leader of the Crystal Gems for a reason, after all._

 _Depending on the time of my demise, you may or may not have realized I have… taken the mantle from you out of necessity. I hope you understand; beyond myself, your fate lies in the hands of Bismuth and Lapis Lazuli… and to a lesser extent, Steven's paternal unit. I enlisted him; that's how desperate I am for able-bodied volunteers, Garnet! Everyone waited on me to reform before doing anything, because those clods are so dense, they can't even manage a single brainstorming session! Seriously,_ _ **none**_ _of them thought "oh hey, since there's a treasure trove of scrapped space ships nearby, we can try fixing one or putting one together with the combined remains"! I mean, come on! I swear, Garnet, I don't know how you do this. I mean, you've been doing this several Earth millennia before I even emerged. I suppose with that much time, it would be hard to still suck at what you do._

 _But in all honesty, believe me when I say I'm trying my best to go by your example. Which… isn't easy as the "kid", I say in relative terms, when leading a bunch of incompetent adults. Maybe Lapis was right. Maybe I really suck at being like you… I really wish I didn't. I know we didn't start off on good terms – hah, I say that like it's unique to you or something. Maybe it goes without saying, but I'm sorry for how I judged you back then. You're not a filthy war machine, and it was never my place to ever tell you to cease being… well, you._

 _You were really hard to read, you know? That bothered me a lot at the start. When I can't understand something or someone, it just feels like there's an itch inside me I can't scratch. Pearl isn't nearly as complex as she makes herself out to be; Amethyst and Steven don't even bother with subtlety. But you… I couldn't put a "name" to you yet. Maybe that's why it took me a while to actually call you by your name. Even now, there's so much about fusion I don't understand. But that's more on me for not being able to fuse than anything else. I always meant to ask you if it really is impossible for an Era 2 to fuse. It's always assumed to be the case, since we lack almost everything that makes you Era 1s so valuable. But then I learned about Stevonnie and I started to maybe… think it was possible? I mean, if Steven can fuse with a pure 100% human, why not an Era 2 gem? This isn't the kind of thing I can just walk up to Steven and ask about, though… for various reasons. Since I won't be able to now, geez- should I really…? Well, whatever. I'm dead as you're seeing this, so I guess it doesn't matter. Just ask Steven if he would have… I don't know, considered it or something. Stars, this is so embarrassing to say…_

 _By the way, how strong_ _ **are**_ _you, anyway? The only thing a Peridot can take pride in outside of intellectual skill is their durability. It's a bit of a necessary trait for a working-class gem, but I kind of liked seeing other gems on Homeworld poof under far less pressure than I've been under and retained my form. I think you were the first one to achieve that, honestly. I probably would have lost my limb enhancers long before we met if it happened at any other time in the past. Is it some cheesy "power of love" thing going on with Ruby and Sapphire that makes you like, crazy powerful?_

 _Oh, I should say hi… and bye to Ruby and Sapphire. Unfortunately, my first and only time seeing you two was at your wedding a couple of days ago, and obviously there were… other things on your minds that day. It's why I can't get myself to do a video for them, together or separate, but I thought they might appreciate some acknowledgment on yours. I wish I had gotten to know the two of you better before… this. Stupid Diamonds crashing your wedding… then making off with all of you, doing stars-know-what as I speak!_

 _Everyone is hard at work now, at least. I'm supposed to be rummaging through this house finding supplies while Bismuth and Lapis are getting the assets for our ship prepared. But then I keep thinking "What if I die? I've got so much I still want to say to everyone, and by then it'll be too late!"… which is why I'm here now. A lot of what I've been saying has been under the assumption that I'll end up shattered before I even reach you and the others. I haven't considered what I'd say to you if we die while we're escaping… then again, I have no idea what we'd even talk about. I suppose I'll do what's right and give you your leadership back, at least. I'm fully aware my status is merely on loan until your safe return. Hopefully, I'll have my act together by that time, too._

 _I hate using this as some means of therapy advice I'll never get, but I just need to… air it out, you know? I trust you enough to handle the knowledge of my vulnerabilities responsibly. Garnet, how do you mask your vulnerabilities so well? Is it the visor? That's got to be part of it… mine clearly isn't dark enough. Still, you stay calm under pressure, and you make it look easy! It is_ _ **not!**_ _It hasn't been the same since I reformed… since they told me about the situation. The second I learned about it, a million things went through my head at once, and… and…. it's like I'm on autopilot sometimes! I try to keep you in mind when I act professional with my teammates, you know? Suppressing emotions has been hard for me since I came to Earth… isn't that funny? I barely qualified as a sentient being when we first met. Sure, I felt things before then, but it was always… fleeting, in a way. It's like you all broke some seal on me. Somehow, I had all these weird emotions and feelings and aspirations and ideas and curiosity and likes and dislikes and aptitude for other areas of expertise locked inside of me, and it all just flooded out and I've never been able to stuff it back inside me when I need to. I'd ask you to teach me the art of subtlety – I am well aware I am no better than Steven or Amethyst when it comes to keeping up some kind of front… or a lie… but I guess you can't now._

 _Um, just rest assured there's a lot I still wanted to learn from you, Garnet. And not just fusion. Even though I think I'm bad at it right now, I kinda like taking charge… you could teach me how to be better. Could have taught,_ _ **could**_ _have, you clod– nngh, sorry. I shouldn't mess up my tenses. I wanted to learn how to be cool like you, too. Is that something you can even teach, or is that something you're made with? … I don't know what it is with me and learning everything. Have I driven you up a wall yet, Garnet? –Why do I hope I have? Am I really that immature? Seriously, It's not like I'm th– …_

…

 _I just about spilled my age to you. Look, I have strong reason to believe you and the others have a betting pool on my age somewhere. It's something that agitates me to no end, but I can do nothing about it. So you'll just have to spend the rest of eternity guessing my age now, won't you? Hah! Take that!_

 _In all seriousness, before I wrap this up, there's one thing I should address to you in earnest, Garnet: how sure you are of my demise. Given my recent history with… certain high-ranking figures in Homeworld, I assume I'm still on their Most Wanted list, and if the Diamond court doesn't execute me, then the bounty hunters will for sure. But… this is a big but, but… if you have any reason to believe I'm still alive… I assume you're back on Earth as you're watching this, anyway… if I'm stuck on Homeworld… even if there is a chance I'm still alive, please… don't go back for me. I mean, I have no power to stop you, but honestly? Garnet… I'm not worth the risk. Not like Steven is… not like you, Pearl, and Amethyst are. D-did you know Peridots are some of the most common gems in existence? My kind probably makes up at least a quarter of Homeworld's population alone! Point being… if need be the case, you're probably better off getting another Peridot than risking your neck to bail me out. It'll probably be an even better one than I am! It's not like I don't have a load of sins I need to repent for. That's sort of the bad thing about being awakened on Earth. If I even take a glance back at my pre-Earth life, it gets harder to accept in hindsight._

 _I just don't want any of you hurt on my account, okay? I'm sure Steven's beating himself up endlessly over me… do me a favor and just… I dunno… smack him, if he starts with that, okay? Even posthumously, the very concept that I'm bringing about any more grief and trauma on Steven than I have already… I can't take it._

 _If you ignore this and try and save me anyway, I'm gonna be_ _ **pissed**_ _, Garnet. You hear that? And it's gonna be your fault, because you'll be leading the charge! So that'd better be a consequence you can live with! I will never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever,_ _ **EV-ER**_ _forgive you!_

 _With that said… I'll conclude my final testimony. With the best of wishes for your future, my sincerest regards… farewell, Garnet. And Ruby and Sapphire by extension. You're the best fusion I've ever met._

 _Signing off for the final time, Peridot Facet-2F5L Cut-5XG."_

Garnet wiped the tears from her face. "I've never seen someone so adamant about _not_ wanting their life saved," she said with amusement. "Peridot… when we get you back, I will have to teach you how not to be so transparent."

She then noticed the footage was still rolling; the video hadn't ended yet. Garnet patiently watched on… she knew there had to be a nice thing Peridot snuck in there, assuming she wouldn't catch it. Peridot had stepped out of the shot after her final line, but a couple of minutes later, she came back into frame.

" _... Did I seriously still leave this thing running?! For the love of– Garnet, you'd better not still be watching! … But if you are… fine. I'll just remind you to do your best to take care of Steven. You're the one I worry about the least when it comes to him, but I know you're not infallible. I don't know how he's going to fare being without me; probably for the better, I guess… just… just take care of him. You know he's the one that's keeping me going, with this whole stupid rescue mission. He's the only reason I'm not the worst leader in the world. You have no idea what he means to me, okay? Even I hardly know what he means to me… it's just… a_ _ **lot**_ _, okay?! He's just as important as this primitive dirtball we live on, get it? I don't think I need to say any more than that to you, Garnet. Just– oh, Lapis! You must be here for the–… right, the wax and the rags! No, I didn't forget! No, I'm gonna get them right now, hahaha…_

 _Okay, look. Just shut this off already. I'm turning it off the minute I get back."_

Peridot left the shot to rush inside the house. Garnet couldn't help but laugh. Lapis must have been flying at this time, because she could barely make out the other gem's voice. "Ah, Peridot… I'm afraid I already have a very good idea what Steven is to you, but I will give you points for that effort. That was precious."

She also knew there was no way Peridot was going to just shut it off after one minute. There was just a bit more than that left on the video. Soon enough, Peridot rushed out and held out what she promised to retrieve for Lapis.

" _Lapis, I'm gonna throw it up to you, 'kay? No, you don't need to descend! I can definitely make that! Watch!"_

Well, apparently she was able to toss up the wax to Lapis without an issue. When it came to the rag, however… Garnet finally heard Lapis' voice audibly screech with disgust.

" _Whoops, sorry! Hey, at least I didn't miss, right? Besides, I think a rag over your head is a good look for y–_ _ **YAAAGH!**_ _"_

Yeah, obviously Lapis was having none of that, and she shot down a much wetter rag down hard on Peridot, which came seemingly out of nowhere in the shot just to nail Peridot in the head and knocked her over. Garnet couldn't help but burst out laughing at that. It was just too perfectly timed for comedy.

Finally, Peridot snagged her recording device and pulled it closer towards her, and her voice from here onwards was just a hint above a whisper.

" _Okay, you win. I don't even care… Lapis is gonna get such a roast on hers– anyway, Garnet. You're still here? Of course you're here. Did you use your future vision to know to stick around? Whatever; don't care. …_

 _It took a while to get the math right, you know. Converting Homeworld time to Earth's is way more complicated than it has any right to be. Hmph…_

 _2:55 AM. 27_ _th_ _of August. ..._

 _13.8 years ago."_

That was the end of the video. Garnet just settled for a wide smile as she shut off the tablet and stood up. It was only then she noticed among the many bubbled corrupted/otherwise antagonistic gems being kept in this room that a mass of green bubbles had mixed in well with the others.

She remembered quickly; Just before entering the massive melee by their way out of Homeworld, Peridot had the foresight to bubble up the poofed pallid gems and sent them back to this place before heading downstairs to aid her allies. It was a good method of insurance - there would be no worry of them regenerating later and heading down to extend the fight, White Diamond wouldn't be able to assimilate her pawns despite having already infected them…

That's when Garnet had an idea. She also found the green bubble of Yellow Pearl that Peridot had Garnet herself send off, since Peridot wasn't certain where her bubbles would go anymore now that the barn was no longer available, and there was no sense in losing a perfectly good skeleton key to the labyrinth of doom known as Homeworld. Apparently "home" to Peridot now was the same as her own. Once all this was over, Garnet considered giving the poor gem her due and grant her a proper room.

Still, she made sure to keep the Yellow Pearl bubble in an easily accessible part of the room; they would need it soon enough. However, she exited the room only holding a bubble of a single pallid gem and coincidentally passed by both Steven and Pearl. Steven was sulking on his bed while Pearl was just leaving the kitchen.

"Ah, Garnet! Back from hearing your message?"

Garnet smiled to Pearl. "Watching. I didn't realize they were video files. Have you seen yours yet, Pearl?"

"I was just heading to my room to do just that," Pearl answered. "First, I just wanted to try and get Steven to eat… well, eat _something_."

Garnet glanced up to see Steven refusing to move, trying to tune out the world around him. "Has he… yet?"

Pearl shook her head. "He told me he doesn't want to. I suppose that isn't surprising… Steven really did see too much for his own good, didn't he?"

Garnet nodded. "I should have been better about following Peridot's orders and just thrown him down the chute immediately. Part of me just hoped… and believed, if anyone could alter such a stubborn course of destiny, it would be Steven. Especially considering his bond with her. I was… almost right. But almost isn't enough."

"We'll make it right, Garnet," Pearl assured. "She didn't turn her back on us; that makes us indebted to her, right?"

Garnet smiled at that. "You're very right. We'll give Steven some time, but if he stalls for too long, I'll be sure to have a talk with him. Before you go, I would like you to look into something." She handed Pearl the green bubble. "By all means, see your message first, but I forgot Peridot had sent many of these pallid gems here before the last battle. It may be a little while before we go out again, so I was curious if you would be able to study the specimen?"

"Specimen?" Pearl quickly got it. "Oh, I see…! It's our best chance of finding out if there's a way to reverse this horrible condition, since clearly poofing them isn't enough. Or, failing that, a vaccine for us to resist it. At the rate it was going before we left, part of me wonders if Homeworld will even be recognizable from a distance when we see it again. But I greatly appreciate the donation, Garnet."

Garnet shrugged. "By all means, help yourself down there. Peridot brought back almost as many of those as we have bubbled down there overall." She started to walk off. "Enjoy your message, Pearl. I got quite a few nice outtakes, so be sure to sit through _all_ of it."

Pearl smirked. "Oh, I definitely will." Garnet made this sound very must-see; now she was eager to see this rather than cautious and awkward. Even so, that was better than how Steven was handling his. His phone was still downstairs on the table, and he sounded so determined to never watch it.

"Go ahead and get some rest, Steven," Pearl gently called out. "Make sure you eat something when you wake up, okay?" She didn't want to push the matter of that message yet. They had only been home for a few hours, after all. Perhaps a full night's sleep would make Steven more compliant tomorrow. "I'll be in my room if you need anything."

Still no response. Pearl just sighed and made her way to her room. There was plenty to do to keep her busy… and plenty to watch to gain… something else out of the experience.

* * *

 **[ NEXT LOG: PEARL ]**


	2. Pearl

**Notes:**

Bless this site for having much simpler document editing than AO3's. So, yeah. Here's the second chapter that I finished around a day later. Much more manageable chapter sizes, so it should be a breeze to get through all of this. This is probably the only time you're ever going to see me post 2 chapters in 1 day.

As an aside, I am largely leaving the message portions of the story dialogue-only until there's a break in the main segment. I sort of designed it that way on purpose so you can imagine what kinds of gestures or movements Peridot's making in these testimonies. Besides, I think it'd break up the structure to this little series something fierce. Have fun reading the headcanon bits!

* * *

When Pearl entered her room, her first course of action was to set aside the bubbled pallid gem Garnet had given her to research. She had no idea Peridot had the foresight to send them so many prior to the final battle, and she couldn't help but admit it was quite admirable and a very sensible decision. When Peridot explained the odd bleaching effect of the gems by White Diamond's hand, it seemed so hopeless. It was a far worse fate than corruption; no one knew if it would be possible to save the consciousness of the individual affected gems after White had heartlessly supplanted them with her own, with no regard to the side effects.

Now that Pearl had all the samples of the disease she could ever need, she felt much more optimistic about possibly undoing the seemingly irreparable damage White Diamond had done to her citizens and planet. Pearl could already picture it in her mind; a colorless, desolate planet devoid of gems with any agency to their lives whatsoever. She didn't think Homeworld could lack more of a soul when she first arrived with Steven and the others… only now did she realize it could have been so much worse, and now it officially was.

To her, many details of the team's current situation seemed more obvious than others perceived it. Perhaps it was due to her extensive time as an attendant to a Diamond – albeit a stark contrast to how she'd known other the other Diamonds to be if Pink's testimonies were anything to go by. It still stunned Pearl that Blue Diamond actually sacrificed her life for the sake of Steven _and_ his friends. Granted, if any Diamond beyond Pink would defy their very own nature, Blue no doubt would have been the first to do so. Her emotional state could make her so unpredictable at times, and though Pearl didn't know what it was Steven said to her that made her side with Pink over Yellow and White, she almost had hope that perhaps the Diamonds could be reasoned with.

But it was too late to hope for that now. White wiped them out, and it made Pearl sick just thinking of what it must have looked like for White Diamond to devour two of her own kind. She figured by doing this, White Diamond's power skyrocketed beyond its already top-tier level, as she technically carried the latent abilities of each Diamond. That meant Pink was the only one left standing, and even that wasn't accurate because Pearl had to constantly beat it into her head that Steven was not Pink Diamond; not Rose Quartz. He carried her will, but he was his own person and certainly had no intention of filling in the role Pink left behind. Still, the Diamond Authority, over the course of less than a single Earth day, crumbled to where all that remained was a Diamond who wouldn't assume her role, and a maniacal tyrant who probably thought herself to be well above and beyond that order.

Pearl wondered what would become of Homeworld if, by some miraculous chance, they save it. It would no doubt require ridding the world of White Diamond. After the atrocities committed in her name and her obvious lack of remorse for said atrocities. Steven's "peace, love, and family" approach could only go so far… that attitude wouldn't last long if White continued to slaughter every living being in sight as Steven tries to talk her out of it in vain, claiming to be a guardian for all living things… while he fails to save all the living things being assimilated into White and condemned to purgatory.

She had to be eliminated… somehow. White Diamond was just too dangerous to keep alive. Pearl dreaded the moment she would have to convince Steven of this – he likely was the only one who had the power to finish the job. With her destruction, every sentient soul she sucked into her being would also be lost. Pearl cringed thinking of the ramifications. And again… how would Homeworld function as an empire with no emperors? It would certainly be best not to re-use the same template of the Diamond Authority – at the same time, who would everyone answer to? Then again, Homeworld itself looked like it was on death's door compared to how it looked when she was there last. Peridot wasn't kidding about why the Era 2s were inherently inferior gems; Homeworld itself stood on a mere skeleton of what it used to be. It couldn't afford to make another single gem from its crust; Peridot may very well have been among the last set of gems ever created on Homeworld.

Considering how bleak and brittle the planet looked before everything with White Diamond went down… Pearl doubted Homeworld could sustain itself as a habitable planet for much longer, even if White Diamond was eliminated optimally. Where would that leave the Homeworld gems that survive this? Well, there were plenty of other colonies… albeit Diamond-governed, which would probably create a chaotic state of total anarchy on multiple planets once they got the news. Earth would be a sanctuary much as it had been for every Crystal Gem who landed here one way or another, but could Earth handle so many at once?

These were the kinds of questions Pearl tortured herself with… not only because they were valid concerns, but it also took her mind off Peridot.

Pearl strongly believed there was a greater chance of Peridot still being alive than dead right now. She knew fully well that Steven was White's target during the ambush and battle; the rest of them were of little to no concern. And now, White Diamond had the perfect bait to lure her Pink Diamond back to the trap. She was certain if Peridot was alive, she was well on her way to becoming pallid or broken both physically and psychologically. Pearl bet more on the latter; if Peridot was infected with this disease, her worth as a hostage dropped to nearly nothing. The good part about Peridot having only minimal powers and abilities was that it meant she couldn't be an effective obstacle if White decided to control Peridot's body to fight her friends. Not unless White altered her somehow… that was too terrifying to think about. The possibilities were endless.

Once the Crystal Gems would reconvene, Pearl decided to bring these matters up. She would prefer to first discuss it with just a few senior members, such as Garnet and Bismuth, so as not to rile up the others…

But Pearl finally realized she wasn't utilizing her free time very well. All of these thoughts and feelings needed to be saved for tomorrow. Right now, Pearl wanted to hear what Peridot has to say to her directly. If Garnet could find a way to have a good time with it, perhaps it wouldn't be as depressing as she expected it to be.

She pulled out her phone and accessed the file. She turned the phone to the side, rested it against the corner, then rested nearby as her upper body leaned into the floor so she could take a closer look at the impish little gem and her "final words". Perhaps Garnet was right about it containing valuable information for rescuing their rescuer.

The scenery showed Peridot inside the house. It was nighttime, like in Garnet's video, and she was lounging boredly on the couches downstairs.

* * *

"… _Log Date: TTC 23 hours…_

 _Salutations, Pearl. You know if you're seeing this right now, it means I'm dead, right? I just want all my bases covered. Unlike Garnet, I can't tell when my demise will be… but I feel it coming, nonetheless. I'm not nearly as scared of his mission as I should be, and you're all too important to just… ignore when you really need help. But logically, I should be terrified. I should still be listed as a wanted fugitive on Homeworld, and… it'll be dangerous for me there. At least I'll have Lapis and Bismuth backing me up, but I'll admit one thing that is getting me shaken up is… leading the team. I bet you never would have guessed I'm heading this operation, huh? They weren't doing_ _ **anything**_ _before I reformed even though they had gotten Steven's SOS a while ago. And naturally, since we don't have Diamonds escorting us unlike your group, it falls on me to lead when we get to Homeworld. Bismuth and Lapis don't recognize the place… it's just process of elimination; I had to be the navigator. Tour guide. Whatever._

 _As I speak, Bismuth's in her forge smelting the pieces of the ship we need. I insisted Lapis to train with a limited water supply, since Homeworld's natural reserves dried up a long, long time ago. You probably noticed that when you arrived, I'm sure._

 _But… enough about what we're doing to save you clods. I'm making this for you specifically, Pearl. In the event that I perish before rescuing you, I wanted to take this chance to… tell you everything I wanted to tell you. That way, you can peacefully move on with your life with no uncertainties or concerns. I really don't want to be another Rose in that context, Pearl._

 _Speaking of… I was totally right about you being a fancy Pearl, now wasn't I? Of course you belonged to a Diamond all along… even though said Diamond is gone now and all that remains of her are that gem and Steven. I didn't know Diamonds had the power to force their Pearls into an NDA – a non-disclosure agreement – but it does sound like something a Diamond can and would do. To be honest, I'm not inclined to give you flak over that whole Rose-being-Pink-Diamond debacle. True, it's really turned things around on us, but… I dunno. I didn't really live through any of this unlike the rest of you. Era 2 propaganda on Homeworld ensured I would never know about it. I didn't even know who or what the Crystal Gems were until that first time I met you. Being so… detached, removed from all those events… I guess it makes sense that I see no reason to be hard on any of you. Though I will say I stand by my original statement when we were on the Moon Base: Rose just delayed the inevitable and by no means saved the Earth. The fact that she was a Diamond who really could have put a stop to this… it's like,_ _ **wow.**_ _Sometimes the truth just sucks to accept, doesn't it?_

 _I suppose I'm being overly insensitive right now; I apologize for that, Pearl. There's been… a particular hang-up I've had about you since we started getting to know each other at the barn, when we were just beginning to design the drill. It's… sort of a sensitive thing for both of us. There was never a good time to bring it up, and… while I dread doing so now… I guess it's now or never._

 _I'm sure you remember how I treated you like a servant, since that's what a Pearl's primary function is. And that's all I really knew about them… aside from Yellow Pearl, my manager. Actually, just think about what I said there. I messed around with you talking about a Peridot owning a Pearl, how your type was the lowest of the low and couldn't be anything but indentured servants…_

… _I was trying to cover up for my own insecurities at your expense. Because I had a Pearl as my direct superior the entire time. A Pearl owned by a Diamond, granted, but the point stands. You were once in that role yourself. Pearls aren't meant for everyone; only the most refined and elite of the Homeworld upper-class can "own" one. And I'm not gonna pretend like it wasn't hard for you all, but… at least there was some air of dignity; of majesty with you Pearls. You were always surrounded by great and influential gems and could live out that grandiose lifestyle vicariously through them. You're no exception. Your kind also hold something of a high authority by acting on behalf of your owner; your type is quite invaluable to the 1%. As far as I've seen, the Pearls used for that purpose are respected figures in Homeworld. Oh, and I shouldn't forget to mention that the Pearls owned by the Diamonds… I happened to learn oh-so long ago that if you poof one of them, you can use their gemstone as an all-access pass throughout Homeworld. And you know what? That's exactly what I'm gonna try for. I only wish my kind could have such a broad range of utility. You see…_

 _The truth is, Peridots are and always have been the rock bottom of the Homeworld caste system. There's more of us than any other kind, since Homeworld needs that many technicians on hand to make sure everything is consistently maintained. And we're… I recently realized, the Homeworld equivalent to Earth's lowest class. We are the metaphorical fast food attendants. The janitors. The garbage humans. The immigrants who take the jobs the natives won't do, such as plowing the fields…_

…

 _I guess I've been doing that, too. The nature of my status followed me all the way to Earth. So, yeah. I've been beneath you, lying to myself that it was the other way around. Not to mention you're_ _ **far**_ _more of an asset in battle than I could ever hope to be. I suppose you should be the icon for Pearls everywhere to follow: you got past your primary function and became something… well, bigger. I like to think that's sort of happened to me as well, but obviously not to your extent. I envy your ability to hold your own in battle, and at the same time rival me in the technical department. I-I'm never going to say you were better. I won that fight, you know! My robot was better! It's just… it's just too much for me to even humor the idea that a Pearl can out-do me in the job I was literally created for. Even you. I earned my mission here because I had consistent high marks on each task I performed and invented some new ways to permanently improve Homeworld's productivity. That's a lot of Peridots I had to out-perform just to get Yellow Diamond to notice me, you know? To get past all of them, only to come to Earth and get shown up by you? I mean… it's nothing against you personally. If anyone had your mechanical aptitude, I'd be feeling like this._

 _I… did like collaborating with you at the same time. I don't know how that even makes sense, but it was… I guess, nice to have a kindred spirit in that department. They aren't easy to come by on Earth; at least not to our level of expertise. And… though I think you overreact to things a lot, I appreciate how you've been looking after Steven. I'm still trying to understand this "family" concept from that kind of standpoint. By that, I mean… I usually don't let myself think about what it would be like, to have maternal and paternal units. Ruby and Sapphire's wedding – you know I had no idea what that was until I was invited, right? So now I have to decipher the meaning of a "spouse" and how… I don't know, they enrich your lives? I need to stop thinking about that, honestly. It's not something that will ever be a factor in my life, and I say that because of the way things presently are as you watch this. That's definitely why it's impossible; not that he'd ever want me as some eternal companion or whatever! Th-that's not what I'm meant for. I'm still… I'm still learning what I'm meant for here. What I mean to all of you. I guess it's not relevant for you now… I just hope you didn't see me as a total nuisance. Or a burden. Since I officially came on board, all I've ever wanted to do was to be of use. Steven's been telling me to stop talking like that… he insists this life is nothing like what I had before, as if I don't already know that. Pearl, is that way of thinking just so heavily ingrained in our geological makeup given our classes, that we just reflexively say things like that? … I keep asking questions I won't get answers for until it's too late…_

 _Pearl. You strike me as the kind who would think of a bunch of ways how or why I might still be alive if you never saw me get struck down. Maybe, by some stroke of dumb luck, I am, and I was therefore a stupid, idiotic clod for making these in the first place. But even though your current visit there is the first in a very long time and you probably don't even recognize it… I mean, Lapis sure didn't… I feel you know a lot about how the law works there. The nature of high society. You know how unforgiving our native society is, Pearl. How ruthless, how sadistic, how petty they can be for the slightest misdemeanor._

 _I'm bringing this up because you shouldn't try and save me. I guess you feel indebted or whatever, if my rescue effort was a complete success without me. But Pearl, don't risk it. Don't let Steven walk right back into the trap I freed him from. The worst thing you all could do is get captured again because you tried to save me. Just… live your lives. You did it for thousands of years without me, didn't you? Surely you can keep that up for thousands more to come._

 _I've done a crappy job of expressing it, but I'm glad to have met you, Pearl. And I'm sorry we haven't had the opportunity to talk more. I should have been there as a neutral party to support you after that whole Rose-is-Pink-Diamond fiasco… there can't be many on the team who don't feel strongly about it either way. You'll have to make do with me being there with you in… spirit, I guess. I should probably wrap this up; Bismuth just came in and– Bismuth, why are you grabbing that chair?"_

Pearl, who had been completely absorbed in the video since the start, managed to let out an amused snort through her tears. She watched Peridot turn around to her right, presumably addressing her teammate.

" _W-wait, what. What._ _ **SERIOUSLY?!**_ _Bismuth, put that down right now! … I know it looks perfect for it, but you don't use the chairs in here as kindling for the campfire outside! … I-I don't know; that's just how it is on this planet; in this house! Do you have any idea what they're gonna do to me if they found out I let you chuck their furniture into a flaming pit?! H-hey, I'm being serious! Bismuth, I'm not playing around here! Go find someplace_ _ **outside**_ _for kindling if you need it that badly! Oooh, you–!"_

Pearl completely busted up laughing. Peridot ran out of the frame, presumably to chase down Bismuth. A small struggle was heard in the background, mostly some very strained and typically odd Peridot noises before a loud crash was heard. Pearl winced, but she had already been through that area of the house since coming back. Nothing looked broken then. She gradually heard Peridot's voice more clearly as she stumbled back into frame.

"– _Yeah, yeah, a "challenge"! That's definitely what that was! Keep walkin', Bismuth! Pull that again and I'm bubbling you for an hour! I'm sure that's a fair punishment! Now_ _ **GET OUT!**_ _–oh stars, I left this running. Pearl, I am so sorry you had to see that. I… I guess you know what that was about."_

Peridot had managed to take the chair back from Bismuth and dragged it into frame.

" _This is the piece of furniture I saved from that backwards-thinking Bismuth. I seriously recommend you all give her a crash course on modern life when you get back. I know there hasn't been any time to really do that, but… wow. This is awkward._

…

 _Hey, I just remembered something! As someone who'd know more about the Diamonds than most others, have you ever had a discussion with the other Crystal Gems on how brittle they are? Notice how they'll never shut up about their unmatched hardness factor. You've probably heard it a million times or so in your lifetime. Now, how often do you hear them mention their brittle nature? Not much, if at all, right? That's something I'm gonna exploit, too. In theory, all one would need is a tough, hard-hitting material such as metal – good thing I can make use of that power of mine – and a very precise blow. That_ _ **has**_ _to be enough to at least crack a Diamond. If you all are ever threatened by a Diamond – White or whoever; stars only know how many Diamonds might exist in this universe – I want you to think about that. But do not, absolutely do not utilize this knowledge to try and save me, okay?! This is for self-defense only! Got that?! She needs to come to you! …_

 _Hmph. I think that's enough. I've spilled my heart out to you, Pearl. You'd better appreciate it. … I will miss you. I really will. Just… take care of yourself as much as you take care of the others, okay? I'm starting to feel the weight of this leadership role… it's not easy looking out for two totally backwards teammates. So I can't imagine what you go through on a daily basis. Give yourself some time to just relax and… I dunno, do nothing. Or whatever you want. You deserve it, Pearl. You're objectively the best Pearl this universe has ever known already… you don't need to prove any more than you have already._

 _My sincerest regards, Peridot Facet-2F5L Cut-5XG."_

Pearl couldn't believe the amount of mood whiplash going on in this video, but Garnet was right. She came out of this feeling much better for it… and all the more determined to save Peridot, despite her weak attempts to ward her away. She was genuinely impressed with some of Peridot's observations and advice, and while she was busy fighting off pallids with Amethyst at the time, she had seen Yellow Diamond eventually kneeling for the rest of the battle with a cracked core. That was proof enough that Peridot was right about her theory… but would it be enough to stop White Diamond? That was the question.

Also, the video hadn't ended. Peridot was no longer in the shot, but footage was still rolling… until a close-up of Peridot's face took up the screen.

" _One last thing, Pearl. Is Steven doing well? I keep worrying he's never going to forgive himself for_ _me_ _not surviving the mission since he's the one who sent us that SOS in the first place. Do me a favor, please. If he starts acting up or sulking, don't hesitate to dish out some tough love on him. Here, I'll throw you a freebie to use on him directly:_ _ **HEY, STEVEN! SNAP THE CRAP OUT OF IT, YOU SADSAP! THIS IS YOUR GREAT AND LOVABLE PERIDOT FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE TELLING YOU TO STOP SULKING, STOP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF, AND STOP ACTING LIKE A CLOD TO YOUR FRIENDS! I WOULD'VE GONE AFTER YOU WHETHER OR NOT YOU HAD ASKED ME TO, SO GET OVER IT AND MOVE ON! DO IT NOW OR I'M GONNA HAUNT YOU IN YOUR DREAMS FOREVER! AND THE ONLY SOUND YOU'RE EVER GONNA HEAR AGAIN FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE IS: STEVEN CLOD! STEVEN CLOD! STEVEN CLOD! STEVEN CLOD! STEVEN CLOD! STEVEN CLOD! STEVEN CLOD! STEVEN CLOD! STEVEN CLOD! STEVEN CLOD! STEVEN CLOD! STEVEN CLOD! STEVEN CLOD! …**_

 _Phew. How many times was that…? Just… just play that on loop if he's being difficult. If that fails, you have my blessing to resort to physical discipline. … now I'm outta breath…_

 _Thanks for everything, Pearl. I need to sit down…"_

That was the end of the video. Pearl was smiling widely yet crying at the same time. "He's in good hands, Peridot… and soon, so will you."

Interesting that Peridot's insistence for Pearl to take a day off matched up with Garnet's order before they landed on Earth. There was indeed a lot of work to be done… but Pearl decided, just this once, to not hole herself up in her room and call it a day. She wanted to take in the beauty of the Earth; Pearl did not anticipate missing it as much as she did. Soon enough, she would have to settle down like the rest of her friends and plan yet another suicide mission set right on course with an impossible foe. She always did envy how easily Peridot could just shed herself of her Homeworld habits and just have fun with life, much like Steven. Pearl feared she may be too far gone, set in her old ways. But she wouldn't figure anything out until she actually gave it a try.

* * *

Pearl exited the room holding nothing but her phone in her hand. Not too much time had passed. Amethyst was now in the kitchen, cleaning house as usual.

"Amethyst, honestly. Show a little self-restraint; Steven hasn't eaten a thing since we came back, and he's refusing to comply. I'd like there to be _something_ left for him to eat once he's finally ready."

"Oops… thought maybe he ate already," Amethyst muttered. "He's usually only that grumpy when he's borderline starving, but if that isn't it… hooboy."

Pearl approached Amethyst, curious with her response. "What exactly are you implying?"

"Uh, I figured you knew already," Amethyst assumed. "Because he's at _extreme_ levels of bummed out. I was kinda hopin' to play some of his games to unwind, but I think the Ste-man's finally getting some z's. I tried striking up some small talk earlier, but he's not having any of it. And oh… his phone's on the table. That's probably why he hasn't been replying to my texts… and why I felt the counter vibrate after sending a message."

"Did he tell you?" Pearl asked. "That he had no interest in watching his message from Peridot?"

"... holy crap, I knew I was forgetting about something."

"Amethyst." Pearl narrowed her eyes at the smaller gem. "You haven't even seen yours yet? Really?"

"Sorry, I've been trying to loosen up a bit like Garnet said to since we got home," Amethyst admitted. "I figured maybe listening to Peri's video would just make it worse for me."

"I recommend getting it out of the way as soon as you can," Pearl advised. "I just finished watching mine. And yes… it was a bit of a tearjerker, but it had some genuinely funny moments in there too that helped a lot. A very priceless candid camera moment in mine, plus she gave me a very handy alarm to wake Steven up with if he won't get out of bed. I'll give him 8 hours, then I'll be experimenting."

"Just like you're gonna experiment on those pasty walker dudes, am I right?" Amethyst said smugly. "I might've overheard from Garnet that you're working on a cure."

"Well, what else are we going to with the hundreds of bubbles Peridot sent us?" Pearl asked rhetorically. "At the very least, I'm going to work on a vaccine that will grant us immunity from the side effects."

"Protip: if we do get a splotch on one of our arms or legs, we can probably survive if everything below that on the limb gets amputated right away. It's gonna suck, but at least White Diamond won't hijack your body and mind."

"Oh, please," Pearl groaned, rolling her eyes. "I believe this is a _little_ bit different from being bitten by the undead. I hope you take this more seriously when we get ready for the next phase. You do understand that's definitely going to happen, right?"

"I'd be more surprised if it didn't," Amethyst responded. "And don't worry; I'll always get my act together to save a member of my Shorty Squad. Steven's gonna be with me 100% on that. I find it hard to believe he doesn't wanna see his message from Peri, but if I had to guess, he's still not gotten past the shock of losin' his gal the way he did."

Pearl raised an eyebrow. "Gal?"

"Wow, you must suck at paying attention!" Amethyst exclaimed, laughing. "Aw, normally I'd say it's a Shorty Squad secret, but those two were literally making out on the battlefield. Pretty sure if they're doing that, they don't want their thing to be a secret."

" _ **WHAT?!**_ " Pearl clearly missed the implications. "Oh, dear. That's… that's why she was so impassioned when she talked about Steven at the end of my message. And why the dear nearly blew her voice out to make her own little wake-up alarm for Steven. Goodness… I'm not sure how to feel about this."

"She couldn't help but talk about Steven when she's supposed to be talking about you, huh?" Amethyst was clearly amused.

Pearl huffed out a sigh. "Oh, she talked about me plenty. And apparently she talked about Steven in Garnet's message, too. Now that you've gone and said it, I can see it now… and I'm not sure how I feel about it."

"I don't think this is the right time to get too judgmental over something like that," Amethyst pointed out. "But I gotta admit, P, you're hyping me up for this message. Now I gotta see what she says about Steven in mine. I bet she'll be a lot more obtuse about her thing with Steven when she's talkin' to me."

"Well, keep in mind it's a message for you, primarily," Pearl reminded her. "But I'm glad I've got you into the mood of watching it. I'll leave you alone to do that; I'll be going out for a while."

As Pearl stepped out and opened the front door, Amethyst looked up. "Goin' out, huh? Mind buying some stuff to restock the fridge, then?"

Pearl just smirked back to Amethyst. "I'm not going for groceries; I'm going for me. Garnet _and_ Peridot recommended I take some time to spend just on myself. Just… be selfish for a day." She adjusted her blazer. "And I'll admit, I'd like to show off my new outfit."

"I hear that. Go for it, P! I'll be here vegging out when you get back. I'll leave somethin' for our little man… considering what he's going through, I'll keep out of the ice cream for 'im."

Pearl nodded to Amethyst and took off out the door. It looked to be shaping up like a beautiful mid-spring morning in Beach City.

"Well, if both of my leaders think this is what I need, who am I to argue? I wonder if I'll come across _her_ again in town… mm, better check the local concert schedule."

* * *

 **[ NEXT LOG: AMETHYST ]**


	3. Amethyst

**Notes:**

Not much to say here, except I was certain this would be the most boring chapter to write. I am pleased to tell the world I was wrong! This one's been the most fun I've had so far.

* * *

Amethyst was in no rush to receive her message. Pearl had successfully warmed her up to the concept, but that made the task itself no less harder than it already had been for the quartz. Out of the OG Crystal Gems trio, Amethyst was by far the closest to Peridot. Once they rehabilitated her to their alignment, she went from deadly foe to a little sister figure almost overnight. Like Steven, she enabled Peridot to try new things and take in the joys that life on Earth offered. The trade-off was that she also enabled Peridot's mischievous nature, which yielded varied results. Amethyst learned that the hard way when her enabling Peridot to comically roast her fellow gems resulted in a very hard blow to her ego and insecurity of her identity. Thankfully, that incident was smoothed over by Peridot making the effort to apologize.

There were many ups and downs in Peridot's life since becoming a Crystal Gem, and Amethyst was around for nearly as many of them as Steven had been. She did consider the three of them the Shorty Squad for a reason. But all of those fun, fond memories Amethyst had were exactly why she hesitated to see Peridot's final message to her. And in a way, Amethyst could sympathize with the currently-asleep Steven for not wanting to see it… at least not now.

She glanced over to Steven's phone on the table a few feet away from where she sat. If Steven insisted on being that far away from his phone, then this was a cause for concern. Amethyst was _not_ looking forward to browbeating Steven into this; she felt so hypocritical even thinking of doing it. Maybe her efforts wouldn't be needed; Pearl and Garnet obviously had no qualms about facing their message. She thought back to how she spotted Steven and Peridot sharing a kiss right in the midst of total pandemonium in the terminal hosting their exit from Homeworld; that was mere minutes before she and Pearl agreed to fuse so that Opal could clean house faster. And obviously, given the situation, Pearl had too many other more pertinent things in mind at the time to even acknowledge that detail while she shared a single mind with Amethyst. So she couldn't be _too_ surprised Pearl only learned of this moments ago.

Of course, long before seeing it in action, Amethyst suspected Peridot had more than just a strong bond of friendship with Steven. She knew Peridot too well now; the technician had no hope in hiding such sentiments despite her efforts. Even though she was genuinely confused for a bit… Amethyst wasn't there to see that. Perhaps Lapis or Bismuth might have seen some of that out of her while the quartz was held prisoner in a bubble. Amethyst considered asking either or both at a later time… when they could spare the time to enjoy some gossip. She knew full well they were going back to Homeworld soon; Amethyst was no more or less terrified of that by itself than anyone else. She understood now why Peridot was so quick to take the lead when their positions were swapped around. Lapis was distant with chronic commitment issues, and Bismuth just hadn't been back long enough to feel how Peridot felt when she first heard everyone was in trouble. Given the options at the time, Amethyst wasn't surprised Peridot took charge. She was proud of her Shorty Squad mate for going so out of her way, and honestly out of her reach to lead such a crucial rescue effort.

And like the others, Amethyst was sure Peridot was still alive. It seemed painfully obvious White Diamond would use Peridot to bait the others back straight to their doom. So no, Amethyst didn't believe for a second that Peridot was dead, so no need to worry there. What was a cause for concern was how Peridot fared right now as a hostage. Since showing on multiple occasions now that the Diamonds no longer frighten her, Peridot has had a terrible habit of running her mouth at them, and it never ended well for her. That's how she got poofed in the first place. It would be awkward for Amethyst to watch a message from her friend who fully believed she would be long dead by the time her friend accessed the file, when Amethyst herself didn't believe it. The quartz wouldn't rule it out, of course… she just highly doubted it. Why bother getting depressed over something that probably held no real validity to it? Then again, Pearl insisted there was some comedic gold both in her message as well as Garnet's. And of course, she had mentioned Steven in both as well.

Amethyst conceded it was worth a watch for those reasons, at least. While she pondered on when she should buckle down and watch, she felt the counter top vibrate multiple times in a rhythm. She glanced over to Steven's phone again to see it was indeed sliding along with every buzz: someone was calling him. But Steven was asleep, and Amethyst knew the poor guy needed a good, long rest before jumping back into this mess. The quartz snatched the phone before it could fall off the counter and saw Connie's picture on the screen. She smiled and decided to play secretary for the day.

"Universe residence; this is Amethyst speaking, how may I help you, dude?"

"A-Amethyst?" Connie's voice shook with possible shock or embarrassment. "I thought for sure I dialed it right…"

"Naw, naw, you did," Amethyst assured her. "Steven's finally getting his z's in, so he's gonna be outta commission for the next few hours… I figure I'd just be your messenger."

"Right, sleep… I really should be getting some myself," Connie admitted. "But going to sleep in the morning, that's just… too weird for me."

Amethyst smirked. "I've seen human dudes try and balance that by spacing out 2-hour naps throughout the day. Eh, but take a gem's advice with a grain of salt and all that. I bet facing your folks took a lot out of you already."

"Yeah, kind of." Connie did sound just a bit tired, but a little too driven by the current events to let that get to her just yet. "At least we've gotten to a point where they're not putting me under house arrest now. I just wanted to check in with them real quick… let them know I didn't die out in space and all, but I planned on heading back here very soon. I honestly can't bring myself to sleep after what happened… it feels disrespectful to Peridot to just… sleep in the comfort in my own bed when she she's probably getting tortured by White Diamond right now."

"Ah, so you don't think she's dead either, huh?" Amethyst wasn't surprised. "I figured that'd be the case, myself…"

"Well, she _could_ be, but in my honest opinion? It would be wasteful of White Diamond to do so," Connie noted. "She wants Steven - what better way to lure Steven back than using a captured friend? I don't want to think about the non-lethal ways Peridot could be suffering right now… at least I don't think she'll be made pallid. That condition sounds like a death sentence."

Amethyst hummed in agreement as she looked over to the bed, where she could just barely make out a sleeping Steven from her angle. "Well, Peridot ended up bringing us like, zillions of samples in bubbles home to us, so we stand a good chance in curing that now, or at least be protected from getting it ourselves. 'Cause I'm pretty sure that's one thing to definitely be afraid of when we head out next time."

Connie sounded so relieved. "I had no idea! Peridot's done way more for us than I thought… see, that's why I can't sleep. I need to repay her. You should have seen how bad her arms looked when Steven and I caught up to her group, Amethyst… apparently one leg got the same treatment. It was hard to look at… she's suffered way more than she let on."

"Well, I know of an extra incentive to get your butt over here," Amethyst mentioned. "We told Bismuth about how well you were using Rose's sword before Blue-Di broke it; Bismuth was a huge ally of Rose's back in the day and all. Bismuth's a legendary blacksmith, so she promised us she'd surprise you when you came back to us with something really nice…"

It was worth it to hear the joyous chuckling of the girl on the other line. "Seriously?! That's _fantastic_ news. I need to start getting ready as soon as I can! I still wanna use my new hammer as back-up, though... that was a present from Peridot."

Amethyst didn't realize this, but she and Pearl were way on the other side of the room when that exchange happened. "Man, P-Dot spoils you," she teased. "Guess with all that newfound respect you've got for her, that means you already watched her message, huh?"

"A-actually, no… most of my time has been occupied with keeping my parents satisfied regarding what happened. They might not completely be aware that I'll be back in space soon enough, heh." Clearly Connie didn't like having to lie to her parents, but no good self-respecting parents would dare let their kid get involved in something like this _again_. "I also wanted to wait until I got to your place to watch it, anyway," she explained. "I know she wanted us to see these messages on our own, but I feel like it's only right to do it where she's living right now. She… is still living there, right? I heard about the barn."

Amethyst sighed. "Yep, she's back with us. This time around, probably to stay for good for a few reasons. Heck, I'm pretty sure Bismuth will be an official resident once we get this over and done with. Lapis… eh, that's a solid _maybe_ at best. At best a part-time resident, knowing her. We're gonna have a lot of remodeling to do in the Temple once this is over…"

"Oh, can I help out with that when it happens?" Connie sounded excited. "Who knows? Maybe when I turn 18, I'll rent a room, too!"

Amethyst snickered; she could already picture it. "Hey, the door's always open here! Ah, I can already see Peri being the overbearing boss bickering with Pearl on that already…"

That prompted Connie to laugh out loud. "Well, now I can't miss this!" Her voice abruptly became somber a moment later. "H-hey, is it really okay to come over this soon? I know you said Steven's sleeping now, but… he really didn't look like he was in a good place before I went home."

"Eh, you're not wrong…" Amethyst felt uneasy all of a sudden. "He's refusing to see Peri's message outright, but that might just be the shock and grief and all that. He might be in a better mood when he wakes up, he might not. If he's not… well, we'll beat it outta him. I'm thinkin' of a really nice secret weapon we can use on Steven if he gets to the point of being super-stubborn about it, but I won't know how good a weapon it is until we all watch our Peri messages."

"How do you figure?"

"Well, so far Pearl and Garnet watched their Peri messages, and both of them had her ramble about Steven to some degree. Pearl just said Peri gave her a great wake-up alarm in hers, so I'm thinkin' we attack Ste-man with all of our Peri messages - like, specifically the part where she talks about Steven in 'em, because I suspect _all_ of 'em, yours included, will have her talk about Steven for a little while when she's supposed to be talking to somebody else. I figure all that at once will finally guilt-trip our dude into watching his so we can get on with the rescue. But I need to see if that really is a consistent thing with Peri's messages or if it's just a coincidence that happened in 2 of the 8 messages. I'm gonna _strongly_ believe it's the case if it's in mine, and if I hear the same outta one more person, then it's gotta be true." Amethyst cooked up a devious plan for dealing with a difficult Steven alarmingly quickly.

"Hmm…" Connie sounded intrigued. "Well, I'll be sure to look out for that in mine when I watch it. I'll report straight to you, okay? My gut's telling me Steven's not going to come around easily when he wakes up. He's taken this harder than everyone…"

Amethyst let out a heavy sigh. "Yeah… I'm not used to seeing him so negative and bitter. Can't be havin' him like that for the mission, so yeah. The snooping's totally for a good cause. It's only been a few hours since the dude conked out, though, so you can come over whenever. You can crash on the couch if you need to sleep at any time." The quartz glanced at the clock; it wasn't even noon yet. "You need a ride over? I can hunt down Greg and give him something to do; I assume the 'rents aren't exactly gonna be okay with bringing you over so soon."

"I hate to impose like this, but that would be great," Connie admitted. "But I guess Steven's dad could use someone to talk to after everything that's happened. I'm surprised Peridot brought him along to Homeworld…" Connie hummed, deep in thought. "I'll come in a few hours; how about that? I can text you when I'm ready so you can let Mr. Universe know to pick me up."

"Sure thing; text either me or Steven's phone, since I think I'm gonna be in possession of both for a while," Amethyst said with a smug smirk. "Text us both just because you can, whatever! Guess I'd better watch my Peri message while you get ready, then. Thanks for hangin' in there with us, Connie."

"Cool; I'll check mine out once I settle in over there," Connie confirmed. "Thanks for keeping me up to date on everything, Amethyst. I really appreciate it. I feel like I didn't really pull my weight last time… I swear I'll make up for that when we go back."

Amethyst stood up. "That's the attitude to have. We're gonna need a good team motivator; I might just hire you. Seeya when you're ready, Connie."

Once the farewells were said, Amethyst hung up and kept both phones in her possession for the time being as promised. She was glad Connie's held out as well as she had considering what happened, and now Amethyst had a solid objective to complete during downtime. It would be fun for her, and effective for the mission ahead. Rarely do those two factors coincide.

Although tempted to just settle in the living room, Amethyst figured she should honor her Shorty Squad mate's wishes and keep this to herself for now. The living room was a rather bad place for anything private to take place. It might even wake Steven up.

So, Amethyst decided to make use of her room - for something other than storing junk inside. Since she talked about Peridot, Bismuth, maybe Lapis, and eventually Connie getting their own rooms here, Amethyst thought perhaps she should just be grateful she has a proper room in the Crystal Temple while her poor friend's had to make do with the bathroom all this time. As much as she claimed to "like" it in there, Amethyst knew if Peridot ever actually got a good look into the Crystal Gems' rooms that she'd be begging for one of her own.

* * *

It didn't take long for Amethyst to find a spot to prop up her phone and get comfortable while she watched her close friend spill her heart out. Unlike the past two videos, this one took place in the evening. Peridot was on the beach; the house nowhere in sight, nor any thing behind her that indicated any work being done. Peridot did look quite irritable from the get-go, though… she was sitting in the sand cross-legged… just from her expression, Amethyst knew she was in for something good. Although abruptly, Peridot forced herself to look extremely jolly when she started to speak.

" _... Log Date TTC: 9 hours…_

 _Hey there, Amethyst! How ya doin'? Hopefully better than me, because_ _ **I'm dead!**_ _HAHA…. HAHAHA! Haha… hah…_

 _Oh stars, that was terrible. Should I- n-no, no. This is the 17_ _th_ _crudding take… if I don't get on with this now, I'll never get this stupid thing done…_

 _Oops, did I say that out loud? Haha, I'm totally kidding, you know. Do you really think someone as witty and intelligent as I could screw up an introduction that many consecutive times?! It's not like there's any PRESSURE or anything… g-geez, of all people I'm sending these dumb post-death messages to, you should be the easiest one to make one for! I mean, you actually_ _ **get**_ _me, Amethyst! How hard could this be, right?_

… _I guess a little harder than I'm making it out to be. Here's the thing, Amethyst: you're the 4_ _th_ _one I'm doing this kind of log for. You'll probably be the last one I make while we're still on Earth; our ship production is going along a lot faster than I anticipated… and since I'm heavily involved in making it, I don't exactly have that much time to spare doing this crap for you all. I can only be gone so long "on an errand" before the others start tracking me down. That's what I get for taking control, I guess… yeah, that's right, Amethyst. I can actually say I'm the leader of the Crystal Gems and mean it this time. I'd feel more prideful about it if I had some actual competition, mind you… Bismuth's a field commander who's just how adjusting to life in general after being in stasis for who-knows-how-long, and Lapis… pssht, Lapis was set to run off until I browbeat her into the operation. Yeah, it's us three and Steven's paternal unit. We're your only hope now, Amethyst. So hopefully you'll be able to look back on this and laugh, and you can say to yourself "Well NO WONDER Peridot was obliterated in that rescue mission; just look at the help she had going in!"…_

 _I guess I'm being too hard on them both. Well, Lapis I don't really feel bad about. After what she put me through, I'm treating her_ _ **way**_ _better than she deserves. I could have just not told her there wouldn't be any water on Homeworld for her to use, making her the most worthless teammate in history, but that level of pettiness cuts heavily into my sincere desire to rescue you moronic clods. I can't afford to be picky, but_ _ **oh**_ _I wish I could be. I'm sure she'll get back into my good graces eventually… I guess Steven would be mad at me if I didn't get over the grudge, but… nyrrrgh, he saw exactly what she put me through! Stupid impartial-_

… _Sorry about that. No, really, I'm glad to have the kind of help I have. We've got water here we can take with us to Homeworld, but obviously not that much if we're to be rescuing 5 of you. So I made sure Lapis learned how to fight with limited amounts of water. Bismuth is helping me make the ship, and she's never built a space ship in her life. It's coming out really good, all things considered. We did luck out having a lot of Diamond ship tech to pilfer from, I'll admit. But I'm sure you'd agree that it's too hard to resist doing something that just spits on the Diamonds' faces, right?_

 _Gah. I usually don't ramble this much off-topic… okay, I'll be straight with you, Amethyst: the videos I've made so far are to people who I haven't conversed with on a consistent basis. Ones that I might have issues with and I held it in all this time… or questions I was too afraid to ask. Ones I never took the time to really get to know… but I actually speak to you quite frequently, Amethyst. You're right behind Steven and probably equal to Lapis in that regard. You know me, and I like to think I know you. At the very least, I know a good deal of things I shouldn't bring up with you because of my subpar social skills…_

 _I suppose you and Steven are to be credited for by improvements in that regard. Clearly, as you can tell in this video, I'm still just average at best. If I knew I'd be leaving you all this soon, I would've put forth a lot more effort into it… so I'm sorry about that, Amethyst. You've been very patient with me; I probably haven't really given much back to you by comparison. Like I told you before, I'm still learning… or I guess,_ _ **was**_ _learning. I know the Shorty Squad's not going to really be a squad without me, and I apologize for that as well… but, mm, here's an idea: just have Connie take my place! There you go; problem solved from your dead and lovable Peridot._

 _I guess there is one thing I meant to ask you about and never got a chance… it sounds like whatever family reunion you had with the Amethysts that emerged from the same rock as you was a very good experience. You were so excited and energetic when you showed off their holes to me, even if you got the labeling completely wrong. The term "family" has been one I struggled to truly understand since I came to Earth. Steven and Connie have these… paternal and maternal units that I don't fully comprehend. And I've actually had time to talk to Steven's paternal unit lately since he's sort of been… I don't know, our moral support? I'm making him chauffeur of the ship just so he'll be contributing directly to the mission, but… it's weird. He's surprisingly easy to talk to, and I actually feel better after the fact. My first night on the job, he helped alleviate a lot of my stress and fatigue with this hot cocoa beverage… and it was nice to feel… I don't know? I want to say "cared for", but it's not like you all haven't cared for me. I tell him later I don't have a single_ _ **atom**_ _of this "maternal instinct" in my gemetic makeup and then he points to Pumpkin and claims that's all the proof he needs to claim I was made with something like that! … hm, I should be saving this for my video for him… a-anyway, my point is… while I consider you all my family, of course, you seem to have 2 families. Us, and your fellow gems who emerged from the same rock. You held similar sentiments towards Jasper, as I recall._

 _I suppose what I'm getting at here is those… what did you call them? "Famethyst"? They seem more analogous to Steven and Connie's biological relatives. You never really met this other family until recently, am I not mistaken? You told me you were in your hole too long and they all left without you… and that was 5 Earth millennia ago. I suppose it's impressive you can achieve that… I just wonder what it feels like. I don't have distinct memories of my fellow Peridots who came out of the same rock I did. If I'm being brutally honest with myself, and… hey, at this point, I'm dead, so I won't have to regret saying this later, but… even by Era 2 standards, I came out as a very flawed Peridot. Notably smaller in stature than what was the set standard, but that's been a gradual effect, the more recently an Era 2 is made. And I've seen reports that suggest the batch I came out from was the very last they could make with Homeworld's depleted resources. Beyond that, I had seen a report that said my eyes were gemetically defective, but I'm not sure how accurate that is. My eyesight has always been fine, and I haven't seen anything to suggest the build of my eyes were terribly flawed. Still, I turned out to be very stoic and pain-resistant, so I suppose that's why I wasn't shattered from the start. I usually don't like bringing up these sorts of things - they're kind of depressing - but hey, if I'm dead, I'm sure this isn't making anything worse._

 _I'm not sure if my - and I'm calling this before you, Amethyst - my… fellow "Famidots"… are even alive. To my knowledge, I've never met 5XA through 5XF. That goes for the rest of the 5X series. At best, we were all together on the same assembly line when we got our limb enhancers attached. And if that was the case, then… I know at least a few of them shattered on Day 1 because they were being too fussy adjusting to the limb enhancers. Most Peridots claimed they were so uncomfortable or even painful at first. I called them pathetic whiners. We're supposed to be a resilient gem that's very hard to break - that's literally our other selling point beyond the technician function. So if I ever saw a Peridot even display a hint of discomfort, I denounced them on the spot. Maybe I shooed all the survivors off because I was born that callous. Thankfully, I don't have many specific memories of my worst years… I just have that constant feeling of disdain for the inferior Peridots, and an unwavering resolve to be better than all of them. Which, objectively, you can say I am._

 _It just hit me that I've pretty much given you, Garnet, and Pearl a lot of grief just to cover up my various insecurities. Every category of it. With you, I obviously put emphasis on your overcooked form because I didn't come out perfect, either. I gave Garnet grief over fusion because I didn't understand the point of it beyond combat use, and because I can't do it at all. I antagonized Pearl by making light of her status as a Pearl… y'know, treated her like a slave and all that because that's all I thought a Pearl could ever be… I did that because Peridots are even lower than Pearls in the Homeworld caste system. We are just… rock bottom. You'd have to be one of those failed fusion experiments to be lower than my kind._

 _So… I'm sorry I did that to you all, Amethyst. I already apologized to them separately in their respective messages, but I didn't realize just how bad it was until I added my transgressions on you into this. You all really have been patient with me. I'm not sure what you even saw in me, Amethyst. You and Steven did kind of lift the seal that suppressed everything in me up to that point, I'll admit… I felt things I never felt before… things I never would have felt if I had never left Homeworld. It's crap like this that kinda makes me envy you being a gem made from this planet. Is that why you're inherently the most fun gem to be around, Amethyst? Because you were made on a planet where all this freedom and joy existed? Guess that's another insecurity you can add to the list. Geez, you'd think I had some kind of complex…_

 _You've been a big help in teaching me how to be an Earthling, and for that I thank you, Amethyst. I can't count how many times you've been there for me when I needed it, or given me advice I could actually understand, or when you were just there for the sake of having fun and enjoying being alive. I'll miss that the most… a-and maybe this is why I had a hard time focusing on you for this message, Amethyst. There's so much I'll lose and miss out on indefinitely if I'm dead right now, and- stars, I'm such a clod. I got through 3 videos without even coming close to shedding a tear, but here of all videos is where I'm gonna get misty-eyed?! If I'm getting like this with you, Amethyst, how in the world am I gonna get through Steven's message with a straight face?! I can't_ _ **cry**_ _in his! It'll just make him cry! And it makes me want to cry knowing that my future crying is gonna make him cry even later on! I just-_

 _You know, I should at least explain this to you… this thing I have so much trouble expressing to the others, because I have to make sure everyone knows he's important enough, and wonderful enough to be everyone's concern, and everyone needs to be there for him in my place so he doesn't have to suffer losing me as much- nynnngh! A-and I can't keep a secret from a Shorty Squad member, right?!_

 _Everything that's been driving me right now… to head this mission, to do all these things I normally never do… that's because Steven's in trouble and I can't stop thinking about him. But that's a good thing, because thinking about him is what's keeping me grounded, like a competent leader should be! I-it's not to say I'm not worried for the rest of you. Oh, trust me… I'm gonna be freaking miserable until I see you all safe and sound. But when I'm about to break down, I… thinking about him puts me at peace. I remember why I'm doing this, and… h-he's so special to me, I don't even know how to describe it, Amethyst! I know what it sounds like, but it's so much more than that! I-I'll admit it to you, at least… I'm afraid, okay?! I'm_ _ **terrified**_ _of defining my relationship with Steven._

 _It's not just one thing, you know? Calling him merely a "friend" is an insult! An unacceptable understatement of his contributions to my life! I can't just call him "family". I mean, he IS that. He IS a friend. And… geez, sure, why not… he's meant so much to me, I can't comprehend life with out him! So I love him._ _ **Grrrhhkkkk.**_ _Why did I say that? Even THAT'S an understatement! Do you see the kind of mess that little clod turns me into, Amethyst?! I-I want him as all these things, but… but I have to pick one, don't I? What happens to the others when I do? I don't… I don't want them to go away. How does one live without those other facets?! These are things I_ _ **really**_ _need to know and I'll never know because I'm_ _ **dead!**_

 _Nnnff… g-great, now I'm a full-blown sobbing mess. Thanks a lot, Amethyst! See what you've done?! As if this isn't the only slight you've made against me… oh yeah, don't think I've forgotten! Steven told me it was YOU who threw my limb enhancers into the ocean! Normally I'd be well past that, except they would have been SUPER USEFUL to have for this mission and now I don't get that option! I'll have to navigate Homeworld purely by memory, so that'll make it that much harder for me to save your sorry butts! It'll be harder for me to fit in with the rest of my kind now! If I die because I get lost or identified and you never get saved, you can just blame yourself for that one!_

 _Oh, and that's not even the worst thing you've done! Not at all! Did you know I'm using the tablet to record this message right now? The tablet Steven gave to me out of the kindness of his heart because he actually felt bad for me, what with ALL of my tech being destroyed thanks to the Crystal Clods?! So he actually gave me something close to what I used to have! Now, what did YOU do that day he gave it to me? Hm, let's go back and_ _ **YEAH, YOU REMEMBER NOW, DON'T YOU?!**_ _Had it been left entirely to your own devices,_ _ **THIS TABLET WOULD HAVE BEEN CHUCKED RIGHT INTO THIS OCEAN! THE ONE YOU SEE RIGHT BEHIND ME!**_ _The only reason, the_ _ **ONLY**_ _reason I didn't just poof and bubble you on the spot is because that triggered my metal powers! I still don't know how or why, but you have no idea what kind of_ _ **PURE HELL**_ _you put me through! Just count yourself super LUCKY your needless cruelty gave me something unique; something I'd been looking for in myself all this time! I still haven't found any explanation for these powers, by the way! Such an ability has never once been recorded on ANY Peridot, Era 1 or 2! If there had been, I would've known about it! And I would've been trying to awaken it all this time, but I didn't even know it existed at all! Maybe that's part of my gemetic defectiveness; I don't know!_ _ **SO WOW, THANKS FOR THAT, YOU OVERCOOKED CLOD!**_

…

… _okay. Okay._

 _I think I'm okay. … I think I really needed to get that off my chest. I feel so much lighter now… and calmer. And I'm not crying like a pathetic defect would anymore. I-I honestly didn't think I was going to make this out to you with any intent of screaming my head off at you, Amethyst. Sorry if any of that was too much, I just…_ _ **wow**_ _. I've had that bottled up for ages. I think I can forgive you now._

 _Well… I'm not sure how much good this did for you. Y-you might be kinda glad to have me dead by this point. But… for what it's worth… I guess you helped me again, Amethyst. In a really, really, REALLY weird way, but… it was still help. And I want you to know I'm grateful for that. Just between us full gems, I'm pretty sure I'll miss you the most._

 _Sincerely, your best friend giving you best wishes, Peridot Facet-2F5L Cut-5XG."_

"... that's the biggest emotional rollercoaster anyone's put me through." Amethyst was beside herself. At first it seemed like she would be getting exactly what she expected… then it shifted into something else entirely. Guilt was the first feeling Amethyst could identify, but it was tempered with the confirmed forgiveness Peridot offered her. But she felt a massive pain in her stomach, and Amethyst knew it wasn't what she just ate. That was a lot of intense sorrow and happiness, amusement, and surprise mixing into one emotional typhoon that felt like it was tearing the core right out of the quartz.

" _You didn't stop the video yet, huh."_

Amethyst was so embroiled in the side-effects of Peridot's words, she didn't realize the footage was still rolling. This time, Peridot never left the shot. She still sat in place; only her eyes shifted from one side to another during that period of silence.

" _It's fine. I bet the others didn't, either. At this point I think it's just a tradition now to add something after my official sign-off. The last few times were just incidental screw-ups… usually by my clod-head teammates. I usually shoot these in the beach house. I decided I should try a new location for you… and that was probably a wise idea. Everyone would have heard me if I wasn't this far out. By the way, I've decided. I've chosen you and Steven to inherit my belongings. I trust you'll be able to come to an agreement with him, but I couldn't just choose one or the other._

 _Look, I… Amethyst, just don't worry about me, okay? It'll be fine. You'll be okay. I've not even been part of your life for one of your 5000-plus years. I'll fade away with time, all of this will… and you'll still be you. Awesome._

 _Just promise me you'll take good care of Steven. Be the sister for him that I never could be. I'll miss you both… more than any way you can define the sentiment."_

That was the end. And honestly? All that did was encourage Amethyst to take some time out of her day to cry this out of her system.

She didn't even think Peridot was really dead. She still didn't, after watching thing. But it put a dark thought into Amethyst's mind: they could find Peridot all well and fine when they return for her… but given the circumstances that have changed between missions, there _was_ a fairly good chance she could die as she's being rescued.

And that made Amethyst the most scared and vulnerable she had ever been.

* * *

Amethyst did eventually step out of her room, but it was already well into the afternoon by that point. Only now did she think to check Steven's phone and find that Connie had already texted her. 45 minutes ago.

Hurriedly, Amethyst made out an apology before making sure Connie was still ready to go. Connie was understanding, of course. It didn't take long to hit up Greg so Connie could have some reliable transport back to home base. Amethyst was set to greet the girl when she arrived, but before she opted to work on her Steven project in the meantime, it seemed like a good time to check on Steven himself.

He was still fast asleep; very little change from how he was a few hours prior. Amethyst just patted him on the head and set his phone nearby.

"I think it's been about 8 hours, my man. But you just sit tight. Big Sis Amethyst is gonna bring someone special soon who's _really_ gonna wake you up."

* * *

 **[ NEXT LOG: CONNIE ]**


	4. Connie

**Notes:**

Pretty sure this is the longest message yet. I did not expect it would be Connie of all choices, but... I guess it makes sense. The following logs will have a slightly different message structure, since we're down to the teammates, with one notable exception. I'm not sure how well I handled this, to be perfectly honest. Hoping for the best, here!

* * *

Connie's eyes lit up as the beach house came into view. Amethyst made good on her word, and Greg was more than happy to give Connie a lift. He admitted in a self-deprecating way that he was just living out the life path his "boss" had chosen for him… and Greg was joking, of course. Honestly, all he had been doing since returning to Earth was sleep. And cry a bit, too. His stay on Homeworld was significantly less eventful than the others, but in all honesty, that was a good thing.

It still made the man feel the need to be more a part of this particular operation, though. The loss of Peridot hit him pretty hard – a lot of that was due in part to getting to know her for the duration of their time on Earth since her regeneration.

"So, you're holding back until you're ready to see yours too, huh," Connie acknowledged. "That's fair… I felt I needed to be here to see mine properly. I don't think my parents would really get it if they overheard this… Amethyst warned me hers got a _bit_ loud towards the end."

"Well, based on what I've seen, being loud means she cares that much more," Greg assured. "I haven't been awake for very long, to be honest. And I think you oughta get some rest yourself soon. I figured just to pace myself so I don't get shaken up for the rest of the day… or watch it too late and fall asleep in a crying heap. Did that with Rose already; enough for grieving ten people at once. I'm no stranger to this kind of thing, at least."

Connie nodded in understanding. "So at least this is something you're a little prepared for going in, right?"

"Aw, Connie… you're never prepared for anything like this, no matter how many times you go through it in life," Greg sighed. "I'd say I hope you never have to, but that's kind of thing us mortals will always end up dealing with it some way or another. I mean, if you don't think really think Peridot's dead, I _guess_ you can consider this a test run, but that's…"

"… A terrible way to phrase it," Connie finished with a solemn look. "Yeah… none of us can say for certain. It just makes more sense right now that she wouldn't be, but I've come to learn that with certain gems, and especially the Diamonds, common sense doesn't really seem to be their thing."

" _Pssht_ , I could've told you that from the start!" Greg said with a chuckle. "Don't forget how long I lived around 'em. That many years in, you pick up certain things about how they do their own thing. But, like us humans, no two gems are the same. I'm learning that every time I get to know a new one."

Connie smiled. "I can understand that; I'm learning the same thing when it comes to our more recent arrivals. I admit I'm looking forward to getting to know Bismuth better, since she's only been with us since the wedding."

"Ah, true… guess I should get better acquainted with her soon enough myself," Greg realized. "She's been very friendly, very easy to work with, and hooboy, she is a _funny_ one."

"Speaking of, there she is!" Connie pointed out to the large gem at her workbench, the same place she spent most of her time helping with building their space ship. "Do you mind dropping me off here? Amethyst said she had a surprise for me."

Greg stopped his van. "Not a problem at all. You could use a nice present before getting into the depressing stuff. Take care, Connie. I'll meet up with you guys when it's time to get serious again!"

"Don't forget to report to Amethyst!" she called back after hopping out of the van. "Once you see your message, that is!"

"Will do; thanks for reminding me!" Greg looked gleeful as he drove off, but really, he was forcing the positivity just as much as any of the Crystal Gems.

"Well, well. It looks like a certain gem spoiled you on a surprise I was tryin' to keep hidden until the perfect time." Bismuth smirked at the young teen before her. "Good to see you back so soon, Connie."

"H-ha, likewise," Connie returned in kind. "And really, all Amethyst said is that you had a surprise. Then again, with the context it wasn't hard to figure out what you were making me… but I probably would have figured out what it was even without it. A legendary blacksmith giving me a surprise present just a few days after I lose Rose Quartz's sword? That's really easy to figure out. But it doesn't make the gesture any less meaningful."

"Glad you're taking it in stride, then," a relieved Bismuth said. "Considering what you had before, I wanted to be sure I made you something just as great, if not better than that. And I didn't think it was possible at first! It's a pity we can't compare them side-by-side, but what _is_ a certainty is that even a Diamond won't break this thing." She turned around and presented the new sword she made for Connie. "I had to go through a _lot_ of prototypes stress-testin' that specifically. But it's necessary; we're heading off a Diamond directly this time, so anything less wouldn't be worthy of a knight like you."

Connie marveled at the details of her new sword for a moment before accepting it and the sheath. "Wow, that means a lot coming from you. I-I mean, we haven't had much of a chance to talk much yet, but your reputation precedes you. I'm not sure if I would've had the nerve to directly ask you for a replacement…"

" _Whaaat?_ Now that's nonsense!" Bismuth dismissed the notion with ease. "What's a warrior without her weapon? It's a blacksmith's responsibility to make sure her fellow soldiers are armed to the best of their ability; it's a creed dating all the way back to even before the war. If I had the time to set aside, I would've made you one before we left Earth to get you."

"I heard the PeriLuck's the first space ship you ever made," Connie noted. "Which I didn't expect… then again, I guess an arms specialist wouldn't really have a reason to create modes of transport…"

"Well, keep in mind us Bismuths weren't made to be blacksmiths," Bismuth informed her. "Our function was construction; buildings, to be more specific. The gems who I knew back in the day knew I could make just about anything. I think the main reason my first ship came out as well as it did is thanks to my natural Bismuth know-how; namely structural integrity. Those are every bit as important to buildings, armor, and weaponry as they are to space ships."

Connie nodded in understanding. "I'm not that knowledgeable on the subject, but that makes perfect sense to me. Poor structural integrity means we run the risk of the ship coming apart while we're out in space."

"Exactly," Bismuth pointed out. "But I can't take all the credit here; I wouldn't have known where to begin or what kind of pieces to smelt if I didn't have the specs Peri made me." She sighed after mentioning her former leader's name. "We put way too much on that kid… but you saw some of that yourself."

"I was meaning to ask," Connie murmured. "What exactly happened to her back then. But there was never a good time to ask during the mission, and after that… well, none of us were much in the mood to talk. Is it okay if I ask you to tell me?"

"Of course it's okay," Bismuth assured before she took a seat on the sand and invited Connie down with her. "You gotta know from somebody, and at this point it's either me or Lapis. And I haven't seen Lapis since we landed, so… guess it's Bismuth's turn to pick up the slack. We can't have anyone in this team uncertain about anything when we go out there again."

"Very good point," Connie agreed as she sat down beside the blacksmith. "So… how did all this happen?"

"It was the first incident in a chain of events that led us to getting Yellow Pearl as a key," Bismuth explained. "But I had no idea that was Peri's goal or that the Diamonds' Pearls could even do that in their gemstone form. Lapis didn't, either. So everything that happened, neither of us knew _why_ it was happening, and it… made us really concerned for her. We weren't sure Peridot knew what she was doing, but she proved us wrong big time… and paid a big price. This all started when Peridot split up from us for a second to head into a store. She didn't say why, but she had me hold her tablet while she was gone. Me and Lapis peeked in a bit, but we pulled back when another Peridot walked through the place. Looked so much like our Peri… just slightly different hair, a different kind of visor, and had those limb enhancers. Peri was gonna get new ones because they were necessary for her next step… again, we didn't know at the time. It made Lapis so mad…"

"As I understand it, Lapis was once Peridot's "informant"… and her prisoner," Connie recalled. "Evil Peri is pretty distinct from the Peri that became a Crystal Gem; once she lost the limb enhancers, she wasn't a threat to anyone and Steven said that's when she started to turn around, once she accepted that she couldn't escape Earth. So, I'm thinking Lapis' bad first impression of Peridot comes from how she appeared in the limb enhancers," she hypothesized. "They became friends after they were long gone. So it must have triggered her… she really should have told you both about her plan before she went about doing it."

Bismuth nodded. "You're right; she should have. But none of us are perfect… and this was Peri's first job as the Crystal Gems' leader. She'd been nervous almost the whole time, up until Steven healed her. But Peri was dead-seat on not lookin' weak to us. She pushed herself way too hard because she didn't want us thinking even for a second that she couldn't handle the job."

The war veteran sighed at the attentive girl next to her. "On the other hand, me and Lapis should've been more daring to peek in. By the time we finally had ourselves a second look, we saw Peri strung up with her right arm suited up but hangin' like a dead limb, and the Peridot that serviced her instead turned it into torture… outright tryin' to mangle and cripple Peri! We saw her twisting her left arm and laughing like a maniac! That tells me Peri knew this one… and there wasn't any good history between them. I think they called her Facet-2F5L Cut-9FC… so she's from the exact same facet as Peri. I just didn't realize those little gems were capable of being that cruel."

Connie felt sick just hearing about this. "But… why _this?!_ Why was Peridot tortured like that?!"

"To incapacitate her; make her usefulness as a Peridot plummet so she would be the one that ended up shattered. I forgot to mention that Peridot got her left leg mangled up by the time we came with reinforcements. Lapis and I couldn't dish out vigilante justice in Homeworld; that'd blow our cover entirely. So we found some Era 1 Peridots who thankfully did their job," Bismuth grumbled. "That meant shattering the savage Peridot… and I think the fact that she was still mounted on Peri beating her face in might've traumatized our poor friend. She was still conscious that whole time… but when 9FC shattered all over her, well… Peri had to have seen that. She's not a properly-trained solider like me; she was never made to handle disturbing stuff like that. She was frozen on the floor… and only "got better" once she was pumped full of meds to dull out her pain." Now Bismuth looked irate. "And the Peridots that helped us, they said by law Peridot had to go back to work before she could get any rest! I just wanted to punch 'em into dust after they said that!"

"I know now… how there's just an evil vibe to this planet," Connie admitted. "But I had no idea about life in the working class… that sounds like such a savage, toxic environment. Peridot couldn't have known that would happen to her."

"Mm-hmm. Those painkillers did somethin' to her, though. She could walk and talk… mostly coherently with us. She remembered her next phase after all that, while me and Lapis completely forgot. Peri was determined to see her mission through… so we just went along with it. That's when she got into her work station and Yellow Pearl was there… by that point, Peridot was talking and posturing so professionally… but when she spoke, Peri sounded like someone else. Lapis thought she was talkin' and actin' more like her old self… her Homeworld self. We weren't allowed inside, but we saw it was really just a bunch of Peridots all stationed side-by-side doing some kinda work on their consoles. Yellow Pearl was near the back up some steps monitoring the whole thing. I think Peri used the excuse of 9FC being shattered and needin' a replacement at her terminal to distract that little tyrant while Peridot did something… she was actin' like a teacher instructin' a class. She said some kind of code, then a second later _all_ the terminals went nuts and exploded. Me and Lapis nearly became collateral damage! It definitely poofed every Peridot in the room, and Yellow Pearl too. That's how we acquired her as a key. When we finally came in to confront Peri, she got really… vicious. First she sounded so proud of the over-the-top way she got Yellow Pearl."

"She poofed that many gems all at once…." Connie was struck with disbelief. "That really is going too far. She easily could have shattered them using a method like that!" She really didn't want to believe it. "I just can't see her doing it that way!"

"If I had to guess," Bismuth said glumly. "I think what just happened to her before had a hand in it. Peri had no love for these gems, anyway. When we tried to calm her down, Peri snapped at us big time, and seriously led us on thinkin' she was gonna finish the job! But that stopped when we called her out for it… that's when I saw the instability on her face. She lost it a little while later. Peri even gave us a warning shot to leave her alone, so… we did. She was bashing those metal limbs of hers against her own console, and by the time me and Lapis checked back in when the sound died down… we saw nothin' but powder where the console once was. And Peri had fallen over, fully lost it, and was desperate to get out of her limb enhancers. She couldn't do it herself, so we had to help… that's when we saw what you saw on her arms. Then she passed out… but since she was still under the effect of the painkillers, it just looked like she was asleep. So I carried her, Lapis used our new all-access key… and right around the time the painkillers wore off is when we met up with you and Steven."

"So that's it… no wonder no one wanted to tell me in detail before," Connie said with a shudder. "I… I admit I didn't have many chances to hang out with Peridot more, so I can't say I know her. But… from what little I do know, now I'm doubting it. And that scares me…"

"Maybe you should see what Peri left you, then," Bismuth calmly suggested. "I'm set to look at mine soon enough, but it looks like you could use a good dose of our little friend speaking to you, and only you, candidly. Go on… get to know her."

Connie stood up and nodded. "You're right. Thank you, Bismuth… for the sword… and everything else."

Bismuth smiled up at the girl. "I look forward to talkin' with you about happier things soon," she teased. "Now go on before I change my mind and gossip with ya all night! You can probably tell I'm not that good at… minding my own Bismuth."

That drew a laugh out of Connie. "Ohoh, that's good! Hey, from now on you should totally get some sunglasses to put on after you make your Bismuth puns… I swear, it'll make me laugh even harder if you do. See you later!"

"I'll think about that!" Bismuth promised as she waved Connie off. She then wondered to herself about that. "The heck are sunglasses, now…?"

* * *

Connie stepped inside the beach house to find it empty, save for a still-sleeping Steven in his bed. She was a little surprised; Amethyst had intended to meet her when she arrived, but she was nowhere to be seen. A quick text conversation later revealed Amethyst was working on a "Steven project" and would come out to see her as soon as she could. She also encouraged Connie to go ahead and find a place to take her own Peri-message.

Unfortunately, there weren't too many options Connie knew for sure would be secure. But then the perfect location came to mind and she rushed over.

To the bathroom.

Save for Greg, who had yet to even go inside the house since this all started up, no one had any reason to use this room at all. And it _was_ Peridot's room… it seemed all too fitting. Connie made sure to lock the door and took a seat inside the bathtub. No place inside was going to be that comfortable, but Connie figured this wouldn't take too long. She could deal with a little backache if she could really, truly get to know Peridot and what she thought of her. She brought up the file on her phone, leaned back, and let herself get absorbed into this video.

This time, it was impossible to see the time of day, as Peridot chose to shoot this video… oddly enough, in this very bathroom.

"… _Log Date TTC: 13 hours…_

 _Nice to see you again, Connie. I just wish it wasn't the last… and I wish I could actually see you as I speak. But you're stuck on Homeworld now. And it's really too much for me to even imagine what they could be doing to you… I'm so sorry you got dragged into this mess. I probably would've tried to stop you if I hadn't been poofed. Not because I doubt your skills; don't get me wrong. I just don't want anybody to go to Homeworld. Trust me as someone who spent most of her life living there: you don't go there unless you're forced to. I don't know what the Diamonds are plotting – even I barely know about White Diamond, but what little I do know? It's nothing good at all. I'm sorry to be a downer about this, but I really don't think you're going to get the cure you're looking for just by talking to her. If our problems could've been solved just by talking to the Diamonds, we would have tried this ages ago._

 _Heck, that's exactly what_ _ **I**_ _did. I contacted Yellow Diamond with the intent of persuading her to not destroy the Earth. I brought up so many sound and logical reasons that she refused to even acknowledge, because I'm just too low-class to be considered worth her time. Her reasons were based on nothing more than pettiness and an inability to move on from the past… and that's not the Diamond I thought I knew. She only paid attention to me when I finally stood my ground and told her "No". Even when she raised her voice, reminded me that I failed in every step of the mission she assigned to me, and ordered me to shut up, it didn't shake my resolve. Now that I saw for myself that my admiration for Yellow Diamond was just delusional and misguided, it became so much easier to stand up to her. I called her a clod, and… the rest is history. I really wish someone had recorded that moment. That was_ _ **the**_ _moment I officially became a Crystal Gem. I bet it would've gotten like, at least 2 million views on TubeTube!_

 _-Oh, right. I was saying all this to prove a point. Yeah, negotiating with White Diamond?_ _ **Terrible**_ _idea. I just needed to let you and everyone else know how stupid you were for taking Yellow and Blue's word for it, because guess what? It just got a friend of yours killed. I hope it was worth it._

 _Uh… gah. These things sound good in my head, then I say them out loud and… wow, I'm a jerk. I shouldn't be guilt-tripping any of you. Really. I'm just mad I didn't have a say in this… thing that led you, Steven, and the others into the trouble you're in right now._

 _You do realize how short-handed us non-captured Crystal Gems are, right? Lapis, Bismuth, and myself. That's it. So it wasn't quite a full reunion, but the Crystal Temps are reuniting to save you! Yeah, Pumpkin's here, too. All we're missing is you._

 _Oh, oh, get this: I'm_ _ **leading**_ _this team. I am the leader of the Crystal Gems, and I can state that objectively now! I know you thought I was crappy for a leader, so… Connie, for you, I'm gonna really try this time. Now that the stakes are raised this high, I really can't afford to fool around. And I kind of have to be the leader by default. We're doing a rescue, not a counter-attack, so Bismuth's out of place for this. Lapis… wouldn't even join the cause until I proved myself to be worthy of leading the team. Luckily, I know my way around Homeworld very well, and I've got a feeling you're trapped in a tower. You must still be in the vicinity of the Diamonds' palaces. So the good news is, it'll be simple to find you and the others! The bad news is… if we get caught, we are_ _ **so**_ _screwed._

 _You might be wondering, if I claimed to take this seriously, why am I in the bathroom doing this right now instead of helping prepare our ship? Honestly… I just have a feeling. What you humans call a gut feeling, or a sixth sense. It's telling me I'm not likely to survive this mission. I'm not getting that impression on Lapis or Bismuth… or even you, Connie. I tend not to put much stock into such flimsy occurrences, but I realized there's a lot of things I wanted to still tell my friends and family; all of my loved ones. And it's highly improbable I'll be able to get that out of the way while we're on the mission. So, I felt it was important to dedicate some time to each of you, because you've all played a role in changing my life for the better. Yes, you count, Connie. We didn't have many opportunities to hang out, but I really wish I could have. You're fun to be with, like Steven and Amethyst. Maybe I'll let you take my spot in the Shorty Squad so it doesn't die out with me._

 _What all have I wanted to tell you, you're probably wondering… that's actually going to be a bit hard for me to do even in this setting, so bear with me. You're a unique case and all… the only human besides Steven I've spent any real time with. I guess I can count Steven's paternal unit as of now, but still… I probably never told you how cool you are with that sword. I'm very interested in this "school" event you attend. I've been so excited to learn about everything there is to learn on Earth, and a place like that is all about learning! But I suppose no amount of that "affirmative action", as you called it, would ever be enough for me to even have a chance to earn a place there. Not that it even matters now anyway, given your present circumstances…_

 _I'll admit, I probably learned more about you second-hand from Steven than I've learned from you directly. Guess that was something that I should have tried harder to rectify, but… nnngh, I don't even want to acknowledge this right now. N-not you, I mean! It's… something else. But it's not important. It's not relevant. I swear it's entirely superfluous. It's nothing that's prevented me from getting too close to you, hahaha… I can't see you, but I can see you're totally thinking that right now, aren't you? Well, feel stupid! Because you're wrong!_

 _-Stars, I really need to watch my mouth. I want to at least try to be respectful to you. You've not…_ _ **really**_ _done anything to earn my ire._

 _One thing I was curious about, I guess… and it's really something I could have only asked you about, is what it's like to have a family like yours. Maternal and paternal units that watch over you and raise you as you grow. Steven's paternal unit told me it's a lot like how I raise Pumpkin, but I don't really understand what that means. You're not a piece of produce, Connie. You're a highly intelligent sentient organic being who's meant to have a life that I'll never understand. I'm saying this because I_ _ **want**_ _to understand… when I can't, it drives me crazy. I can't get it out of my head until I understand it! But I feared this really was going to be something even beyond my reach, and… it's sad, really. I don't like conceding to the notion that something is impossible. Especially when I don't feel I've tried yet. Just know that I deeply regret not trying for you, Connie. You were worth way more effort than what I ultimately put in for you._

 _Did you ever think I was… cool, or good at anything? You made your feelings clear with the Crystal Temp thing, and… I'll own up to the fact that I wasn't a good Garnet at all. And while I'm trying to lead using Garnet's example to go by, it's not like I'm trying to become her now. I'm trying to be the kind of leader the great and lovable Peridot would be in her own right. And if you're listening to this, that means I did something right… I just hope I was able to save all of you. I can deal with taking the fall if it means the rest of you can live happy and full lives on Earth. I owe you that much for everything you've done._

 _Just… uh… hmm. I did promise all of you I'd tell you everything. Everything I've wanted to say, and even the things I really don't want to talk about… because this is my only chance. If I'm gonna die, I want to do so without any regrets. So… please forgive me, Connie. I'm about to share some… very unpleasant things. O-one last thing I wanted to throw in before that… u-um, this is purely a subjective sort of thing, so take it or leave it… I kind of liked your hair when it was longer. It's not bad now… I'm just used to seeing you with it flowing like that. I suppose it is inconvenient for your method of combat, so that's understandable… I would have liked to see a nice middle-road approach, personally. Not too long to be cumbersome, but not too short to experiment with it. Really, though. Who am I to talk about how to manage your hair?_

 _I'm… I'm really no more qualified to talk about Steven. But I have to talk about him. With you. I need you to know everything. Amethyst's the only other one who'll ever know about this, I'm hoping… so you can keep this between us if you'd like. It's not like I'm a factor in your life anymore regardless, right?_

 _I'm… entrusting Steven to you, Connie. I was not clear on the nature of your relationship with him, and I really hate to assume things like this. Whether it's merely a close friendship or a mutual attraction… just take care of him; I know you will. I, er… stars, I really need to say this-!_

 _Connie, I… I have… a very complicated viewpoint on Steven. You know he was largely responsible for taking me in when he didn't need to. He was the biggest part in how I ultimately defected from Homeworld… a-and we even saved this planet, just the two of us, from the Cluster that would have killed you all otherwise! I-I'm trying to tell you I see Steven in so many different ways, because he's been helping me rebuild my life every step of the way! H-he teaches me things… we have fun together… and he's as good a listener as he is a talker. I haven't been feeling like myself since I learned he was on Homeworld after I reformed. Thinking of Steven is the only way I can bring myself back together to focus on leading the team. It sounds stupid, right? But that's how it works. Nothing makes sense to me anymore when he isn't here, Connie! I-I really need him back… I need all of you back, but without him, I'd…_

 _I don't know. I can't phrase it in a way that makes any sense. B-but understand, it's more than what you think it is! Steven's my first friend. He's been there for me when I needed a friend around for whatever reason. He's part of my family… the only family I really ever had. Without him, I'd be on my own, on the run in stars-knows-where on this clod-forsaken rock. I wouldn't know what to do, where to go, who to trust, what to touch, what to approach, what to avoid… I-I pride myself on being a genius, but I'm still a total idiot when it comes to Earth, Connie! I… I need the help. I still do, after everything I've learned._

 _I seriously can't imagine life without Steven. I don't want a life without Steven, ever. I don't want a life where he isn't part of it in some way. M-maybe I've grown too codependent… but I can't use that possibility to mask the truth. S-so you could say I even love him…. but I'm too afraid to do anything that might jeopardize the relationship I have with him_ _ **and**_ _you. It isn't hard to tell he clearly has affections for you. How deep, I honestly can't tell you… I try not to find out. It's none of my business, and…_

 _Finding out would only make me even more jealous of you._

 _If I do find you on Homeworld before I die, I'm not going to bring any of this up. It won't be the place or the time, obviously. And I hate putting either of you on the spot. Especially since you were avoiding him recently, I can't say for certain that I have a solid idea where you stand with him. Not in that regard, at least. But you have a right to know I'll die loving that little clod, in every possible way._

 _I'm going to confess to him in this format. He deserves to know, even if it won't be until after I die. But I haven't even gotten to that point… I-I really need to save him for last. Just disregard it; the confession won't mean anything if I'm dead, remember?_

 _It's not like I'm some pure and innocent child like you two are. I emerged as a stoic technician who did whatever her Diamond commanded and did so without thinking twice about it. Even if that meant taking a life, or several. I have no right to intrude on your claim, assuming there is one. You met him first, as well. So I really don't deserve him in any sense of the word… Steven's too good for the likes of me. So that's why, even though I'm_ _ **extremely**_ _jealous of you right now, you have my blessing regardless. Above all else, I want Steven to be happy. I'll gladly give up everything that I am to make that happen, because… I wouldn't be me without him. I'd just be a machine._

 _He's got a picture of you on his bed, you know? I may, uh… have slept in his bed the other night ago when I was trying to calm myself down. When I saw it, I didn't even think about how jealous I was of you, Connie. It just reminded me you were another person I needed to save; another reason I need to get my act together! Mmm… what was I even thinking, you know? He's only all that I am, th-that's all… he's someone I'd do anything for… at any time. Anywhere… any reason._

 _I don't want to fight with you over him, Connie. Never. W-we obviously won't be able to when you hear this… but I respect and_ _ **like**_ _you too much to want to start a conflict between us when we've hardly gotten the chance to know each other. And I want to know you better… for reasons that have nothing to do with Steven. I hope I already expressed that sentiment well enough. But when it comes to Steven… trust me, there's no conflict and there never will be. I concede; I will_ _ **surrender**_ _before a battle can even happen. I don't care if it hurts me; I'll get over it one day. You don't deserve the pain. So… just be happy, okay? I don't want a single worry or lingering doubt between the two of you._

 _And… if for some reason I_ _ **way**_ _overshot this and this isn't the case between you two at all… I apologize for being the stupidest, most idiotic mega-clod of all-time. Y-you can just disregard all of that! Like I said, I hate assuming, but given the circumstances… I have to cover all the bases here. This, unfortunately, is a big one._

 _You're a good girl, Connie. Way better than I'll ever be. So, I want the best for you after I go. So please take care of yourself, and take care of him however you see fit. Learn everything you can… this planet is wonderful for offering new concepts and ideas. Become the greatest sword-wielding genius of the galaxy. I know you have the potential… the rest is up to you._

 _Respectfully signing off for the final time… Peridot Facet-2F5L Cut-5XG."_

* * *

Connie couldn't find the words to speak. She came into this expecting something more… ferocious. Less than flattering. Perhaps even hateful. Those were the emotions that drove Peridot down a dark road in the moment Bismuth described to Connie. She clearly acted out of contempt and hatred then, but there was hardly a shred of that anywhere to be found in this message.

More than anything, Peridot was disturbingly subservient to the human girl she barely knew. Steven was the biggest part of that, but what a reason it was. Connie had her suspicions of Peridot feeling more for Steven than she let on. She was shocked so see that broken-down, nearly limbless Peridot somehow find the strength to tackle Steven straight off of Lion when they first reunited. And she couldn't deny that once she was healed, the girl didn't see a trace of instability from Peridot as the team's leader. As for the more blatant visual proof, Connie had long since run off into the concourse on the first occasion of the two sharing a kiss out in the open. And that was purely for a functional reason; at least it was for Peridot. She just didn't have the heart to slap the boy.

And Connie was far too preoccupied fighting for her life the last time Peridot and Steven kissed in the midst of their final battle. But even without catching any of these moments, much of Steven's behavior made more sense to Connie now. She saw that Peridot grossly underestimated the level of affection Steven could have had for the gem; she seemed completely convinced there was no way Steven would fairly choose anyone other than Connie. And if not Connie, Peridot still counted herself out as a candidate.

While Connie would be lying to say she never had those sorts of feelings for Steven at all, much of that cooled down a great degree when the two fell out over Steven's actions that resulted in his first trip to Homeworld. After having spent a good deal of time away from Steven and away from the bizarre situations that surrounded him, where Connie tried to be more like a normal teenage girl, she learned there was no need to rush into anything at this point. Connie understood she was entering a very tumultuous point in her life - one that wouldn't gel with the responsibility she had as a member of the Crystal Gems very well. That wouldn't stop her from trying, but to maximize her chances of being able to keep up with both aspects of her life, Connie knew she needed to back down and plan ahead… she was too young to know what exactly she wanted for the rest of her life.

But she felt she understood Peridot a great deal more, now. She had no idea the gem held her in absurdly high regard. Connie was very surprised by the vast majority of topics covered in this message.

" _You're still there, aren't you, Connie?"_

Connie also didn't realize the footage was still rolling. Peridot had been perfectly stationary and silent the entire time.

" _I have a hard time ending these when I say I'm going to end them; I'll admit I'm very much an amateur when it comes to this sort of thing. I'm trying to think… what else I can say at this point. But… I guess I had something of a personal question to ask. Not that I'll ever get an answer, but… it's about fusion. It's about Stevonnie. I'm not at all upset that the two of you have fused, and so often at that. From a scientific standpoint, it's rather unprecedented… I've never seen or read a recorded event of a gem successfully fusing with organic life; especially such complex organic life. Since it's not something humans can do on their own, I assume it has more to do with Steven's… unique heritage. Still, I never would have believed it without the proof._

 _What's it like, anyway? To fuse? See… I_ _ **can't**_ _fuse with anyone. To my knowledge, anyway. But Era 2s like me are gemetically inferior to Era 1s in every possible way… and everyone else is an Era 1. I can't shapeshift, I'm not at all strong and I'm not that fast. I'm durable, sure, but Peridots are supposed to be. Until I discovered the metal powers, an even that's very weak and limited, I really had nothing going for me. But I thought… if Steven can fuse with a full-blooded human, shouldn't it stand to reason he could fuse with an Era 2 gem, too? I-I wasn't going to ask Steven personally… I can't bring myself to. It's too embarrassing. Even moreso if it's still impossible with my kind. But as a gem who's never going to know how that feels… oh, I wish I could just ask and get an immediate answer. Why am I even-"_

There was a loud, banging knock on the bathroom door. Connie almost thought it was happening in the present, but Peridot's expressions indicated this was from her own time. She looked absolutely terrified.

" _H-hey! HEY! Stop doing that; you'll break the door down! I'm coming, okay?! You don't have to be such a brute about it, you clod!"_

That seemed to invite even louder, more irate banging and muffled noises. Peridot looked faced the camera again as she gulped.

" _S-sorry; I can't let them know I'm doing this. Take care, Conn-"_

It cut off before Peridot's sentence even finished, and that was the end of the message.

"When we get you out of there, you and I are gonna have a long talk." Connie decided after a moment of silence. "During a nice sleepover for just us girls; no boys allowed. I can't believe you've actually been too scared to face me all this time because of Steven… but you still used the last of your strength to free us from Homeworld, even if that meant that you may never see him again. You really did care for all of us."

She approached the bathroom door to unlock it. "You proved you could be a great leader after all… but just like you, I want to understand everything. I want to know more about your past, and how far you've come since then. I think I can help you… I _know_ I can. So-" Just as she opened the door, Amethyst was right there waiting for her, "Oh, shoot! You scared me, Amethyst!"

"Heh, sorry," Amethyst said, although she didn't really look that apologetic. "I take it she spilled her guts out to you too, huh?"

"Aaah… I guess you can say that," Connie nervously admitted; she didn't think she'd be sharing the details so soon. "I can't believe I didn't find this out on my own. Sh-she did mention in mine that she'd only share the "secret" with me and you…"

"Yep," Amethyst affirmed. "She was crying super-hard by that point. She claimed she didn't even come close to crying in her past few videos; she said mine's the last one she shot while on Earth. So, was she telling the truth, Connie?"

Connie didn't expect a question like this. "W-well, it looked like she really wanted to, but I guess she wouldn't let herself slip that far out of respect. She was deeply upset in mine, but she didn't break out into tears… she filmed mine in this bathroom. Where was yours shot?"

"Out on the beach," Amethyst casually answered. "A good distance away from the house, 'cause she said she had a tendency to get disrupted by the others. Yours must've been recorded not long before mine. Really eerie coincidence that you decided to watch in the bathroom, heh!"

"V-very coincidental," Connie assured with a laugh. "You weren't kidding about Steven needing some intervention, though. How far along are you on your project?"

"As of now, since you confirmed the Steven-feels in yours, we're past the halfway point." Amethyst took a glance outside. "It's starting to get dark out, so I have a feeling everyone's gonna huddle up pretty soon. And yeah, Steven's been in the bed like half a day now. You can help collab with me on this if you want while we wait for the rest of the gang to report."

"I think I'll take you up on it… _after_ I get some rest," Connie decided; her eyelids felt quite heavy all of a sudden. "Watching that took…"

"A lot outta you, huh?" Amethyst sighed. "I know the feeling. C'mon, I'll take you to the couch. You rest up good, Connie. We're happy to have you back."

Connie quietly giggled before climbing underneath a blanket already set out for her to get in a nice resting position. She desperately needed the rest now, and Connie had plenty to dream about. She smiled genuinely to Amethyst one more time before closing her eyes.

"Happy to be back."

* * *

 **[ NEXT LOG: BISMUTH ]**


	5. Bismuth

**Notes:**

I swear, the conditions of these messages challenge the author as much as they do the character. I think I did the best I freaking could based off a friendship just a few days old. I'm noticing a theme of this. I was apprehensive before starting Amethyst's because I figured there'd be nothing mindblowing to it due to them being BFFs who already talk a lot. I was downright nervous for Connie's, especially on the shipping subject, but I somehow got a lot of material to work with beyond that. And the Bismuth solution was obviously to wax philosophical on history and semantics. Do I see Greg's as a major challenge? Actually... no. I think he's gonna be my last easy hurdle. I'm PRETTY sure the Lapis and Steven chapters won't be coming out as frequently as the others...

* * *

Bismuth grunted as she hammered down a small piece of smelted metal over her work bench. All day long, the veteran Crystal Gem dedicated her day off to make a proper weapon for Peridot. She was really feeling a creative groove after she finished Connie's new sword… but now she had something of a creative block, because there were too many options to consider for the little gem. Bismuth took notice to how expertly Peridot controlled a steel beam and used it to surf through the air for most of the fight. It even served as a handy elevator for a certain part of the fight with pallid Blue.

She didn't see the one time Peridot used that hammer she found lying around in the battle, and after that it became Connie's makeshift weapon.

What Bismuth kept in mind was Peridot's gradually-improving control over all types of metal. She used scrap to cut herself free from a hair trap and dealt a critical blow to their Diamond foe in the process. So it was obvious Peridot could be creative with her metal methods, and alter pieces to be anything she wants them to be. Perhaps this was why Bismuth had a very hard time settling on just one kind of weapon. Bismuth's specialty was weaponry made for close combat; Peridot should never be in a close combat situation. She would have to be a ranged attacker, similar to an archer or a sniper. The latter seemed much more fitting for Peridot, really. But she'd also need a reliable way of evading a direct attack, and that's when the steel beam came into mind.

This part, at the very least, was what Bismuth was certain of. She managed to craft a thin, circular disc that was large enough to hold Peridot and at least two other passengers. Bismuth figured Peridot would have more control over a circular mode of aerial transport that she wouldn't have to risk falling from, given that the beam had a very thin platform for footing. This would suit the technician much better.

Keeping all this in mind was Bismuth's best way to keep herself in line. It kept her mind off of the truth. She probably would never have a chance to actually give Peridot any of these things, regardless if she was alive or dead. The White Diamond threat was just too overwhelming… there wouldn't be time.

"Bismuth… it seems you haven't moved from that spot since we went our separate ways this morning."

Bismuth turned around to find Garnet walking by. She let out a relieved smile and a chuckle. "Well, you know me. Makin' stuff just for the sake of makin' it is my way of just playin' around for a day. Besides, you know Connie needed a new sword, and…"

"I admire your resolve to stay positive in a time like this," Garnet commended. "Just don't get too caught up in that mindset. We have just as much reason to be hopeful as we do to be fearful for the worst. But I wonder how you intend to give Peridot any of your presents, given the situation…"

"I-I know, I know," Bismuth said uneasily before she sighed. "Honestly, all I know what to make for Tiny is a better hovering platform, and some kinda long-ranged weapon. But you know how I roll, Garnet."

Garnet nodded. "Close combat was your specialty. Our specialty. So it's difficult to know for sure what will suit her… remember that she lived a very different life from the rest of us. It's apparent she has an affinity for modern technological weaponry as well… you may want to rethink your approach to this. But I think she will definitely appreciate your platform."

Bismuth smacked her forehead in exasperation. "Awww, _crap!_ You're right! I don't get most of this tech of today; I just haven't had the time…!"

"There's no need to take your frustration out on yourself," Garnet said, in an attempt to console her fellow teammate. "All of that has been beyond your control. I promise, when we retrieve Peridot and dispatch White Diamond, we will all gladly take you on a tour to experience Earth and its changes in the past 5000 years." She then pointed to the beach house. "And we will welcome you to be part of our household. But we have dangerous work ahead of us before that… I believe you should at least bring the platform with you whenever you decide to come in for the night. I should have communicated this better, but many of us wished to gather together indoors and… be as casual as we can be, given the circumstances. We should all get to know each other, Bismuth. And that applies to you more than anyone else."

"That's… that's so mighty kind of you," Bismuth said, fully sincere and touched at the gesture. "Thank you, Garnet. You've just given me a long-term goal to shoot for."

Garnet gave Bismuth a thumbs-up gesture. "By the way, Amethyst is organizing some kind of project, as Steven still isn't doing too well. It's nothing threatening, but all of us will be needed for him to put himself back together. However, it requires listening to Peridot's message. And I'm certain you haven't watched yours yet, because it's highly doubtful she asked you for weapons when she expects herself to be deceased now."

"Geez, you're good at this," Bismuth mumbled. "I'll admit, the stuff you're sayin' makes me want to see it now. It's just a little hard… since she was with us from the beginning."

"I understand." Garnet nodded before turning to focus on the ocean behind them. "By the way, have you seen Lapis at all today? I expect her to return soon, but she has been impossible to spot all day."

"Can't say I have," Bismuth said with a sigh. "I last saw her fly straight out to the ocean till I couldn't see her anymore. That was this morning. I'll admit I have kinda been hearing something almost explosive out there… and the tides are comin' in mighty strong now."

Garnet thought it over for a bit. "Likely releasing her own stress and anger. Not to mention having so little water to work with on Homeworld; seeing this ocean must feel divine to her now. For now, we'll let her release that negative energy. Meanwhile, Bismuth…"

"Yeah, yeah," Bismuth muttered. "I'll see what Peri's gotta say about me. I imagine it can't be that much; we've only known each other a few days…"

"But you have been under her command for the most poignant moment of her life," Garnet pointed out. "You were with her from the start as well, Bismuth. Don't forget that." She started to walk off towards the beach house. "See you soon."

"Of course you can see that," Bismuth said with a laugh. "You tricky little cheater. Seeya inside!"

The dodecahedron prism containing Peridot's message sat securely not far away from Bismuth. She didn't want to have to constantly look at it, but she didn't want it completely out of her sight, either. After swiping the crystal, Bismuth walked off towards a nearby alcove. She knew these messages were meant to be seen privately, and this was a good a place as any as the house was nowhere in view. With the ocean being extra rough today (Bismuth knew that wasn't just happenstance), she had a nice, natural soundproofing barrier all around her. Bismuth raised up her crystal and ran her hand over it gently.

"Okay, Peri… talk to me."

The crystal rose up from Bismuth's palm and quietly hovered in midair as it displayed a screen through light projection, properly layered so that the footage was visible and of perfect quality. There sat Peridot… and Bismuth recognized that chair. Despite a total lack of apparent surroundings beyond a shining glass wall, it was easy for her to figure out where this took place. And just like that, Bismuth realized exactly what Peridot was doing while Lapis made peace with her during their trip.

"… _Log Date ETA: 76 minutes…_

 _Hello, Bismuth. Last time I saw you, I trapped you and Lapis and held you there until a reconciliation was made. I trust you're doing your best, at least. You've given me no reason to believe you're suspect. I wish I could tell you why I think Lapis is acting the way she is, but I honestly don't have a clue. It feels so… out of nowhere. So, I apologize for putting you through that; you didn't deserve it, but I know Lapis isn't going to talk if she's trapped by herself. She used to be a prisoner of mine, you know. Back when I was the Crystal Gems' enemy. It took her a while to get over that; I'm hoping I didn't trigger a comeback._

 _Anyway… I'm making this because despite my confident appearance, I strongly believe there's a 75% chance I won't be coming back with you here. For the record, I'm not getting that vibe from any of you… just me. I'm not at all a superstitious fool, but there's something inside me that's really shaken up… like it's telling me to get ready to die out there… somehow. I didn't want to make you all worry needlessly over a mere "feeling" I have, if you're wondering why I never told you until now. But I got to thinking… I owe so many people the life I have now. And for many of them… I never shared proper words with. I've withheld valuable information from them… kept secrets… harbored grudges._

 _You're the most unique case, Bismuth. I haven't known you long enough to pull that kind of dreck. I've made personal posthumous messages to… oh, I think 5 people now? All that's left is you… and Lapis… and Steven. I've got an hour to speak my heart out to all three of you. So, let's go._

 _Okay, I fibbed a little. Steven told me about what happened when he first found you in Lion's mane… and what led to you being re-bubbled. Only to find out there was more truth to your words than he would dare admit after finding out the truth about his maternal unit, and with Ruby and Sapphire's wedding coming up… knowing how much they, as well as Garnet, mean to you… you were given a second chance._

 _You know… that already makes us a lot alike, Bismuth. At least in terms of recruitment. Back when I still had delusions of returning to Homeworld, I ended up getting poofed by Garnet after I kidnapped Steven as a last resort to find a way off Earth. The only reason I didn't stay bubbled in the Burning Room for eternity is because Steven let me out. Because I was taken out_ _ **just**_ _as I was about to tell those clods about the Cluster - and ask someone else for that story; I don't have time to recap for you - that left some mystery to what I was trying to communicate. Of course, only Steven cared enough to let me out to finish explaining. If he never did that, we wouldn't even be having this conversation, Bismuth. Because this planet would have been blown to bits by now! What I' m getting at is that we both lucked out big time, being given second chances to redeem ourselves. And due to being given that second chance, our involvement led to a huge impact on future events. We haven't even really started our mission yet, but I can already say with certainty I wouldn't be able to pull this off at all with just Lapis and ol' PUU. So, I'm very grateful to have you; never think otherwise._

 _Thing is, I completely get why I was originally condemned to life in a bubble… you… not so much. I mean, you did directly threaten Steven's life, but so have I. Might as well throw Lapis in there too… so, y'know. Join the club. But I was openly antagonistic to everyone and fully ready to shatter any one of them due to my alignment. While you… you had always been an ally to the Crystal Gems. And for disagreeing with Rose for completely justifiable reasons, you were sentenced not only to several millennia of bubble-stasis, but Rose lied about the entire thing to the rest of your friends just to be sure they would never try to look for you. And on top of that, even if they did mount a search effort, they'd probably never find you because you were stuffed away in a very limited-access pocket dimension where no one would think to look. She just swept you under the rug! And you were a close friend of hers; the evidence certainly points to that!_

 _If there's one thing I have any kind of opinion on Rose-slash-Pink for, it's how she treated you. I don't agree with her ideology either, for the record. So, in some alternate universe, that could've just as easily been me… and that's a terrifying thought. Of course, the strike against you is going after Steven after you were freed. Even I can take a non-biased standpoint on this, because like so many others, you were set on making Steven pay for his maternal unit's actions. I guarantee you, Steven would have never bubbled you and lied to his friends that you were merely shattered. It's not in his nature. And apparently, unlike his maternal unit, Steven cannot lie to save his life. He can't spin a story like that and keep everyone fooled for so long… he'd crumble under the pressure of guilt and confess by the end of the day._

 _I just wish more people would stop literally seeing Steven as the gem who created him instead of the offspring he truly is. His entire existence is a contradiction to everything we thought we knew about life, and of course he has his maternal unit's gem, but in his case, the gem does not define who he is and it never will. Honestly, I wonder if it's only because I've served under a Diamond for so long that I know better than to treat Steven like he's actually Pink Diamond. He never once acted like any kind of Diamond or a leader of a rebellion to me. So I find it_ _ **easy**_ _to separate him from his maternal unit! I mean, I guess being so detached from these ancient events would also make it a very simple distinction to make. Still… I assume since you've been given a second chance, you're making the effort to see Steven as Steven… and no one else. What he does with his inherited powers from here on out are on him; I know for a fact during this mission, I won't stand to hear about Steven being talked about like he's Rose Quartz. It's such an insult to act as if Steven isn't his own person. So please, don't obliterate the good will you've earned with me over this. You have no idea how grateful I am to have someone like you around, Bismuth._

 _You've been as fun to have around as you've been useful to getting us to this point in our mission, Bismuth. I'm sure you don't need me to spell out what I'm implying. Honestly, that's a relief. There's way too many overly-serious fun-haters in this group. I'm sure you noticed Lapis has a tendency to fall into that category. She can be fun under the right circumstances, but I've lived with her and I still can't tell you what conditions must be met to make her something other than a total wet blanket. Me, Amethyst, and Steven could definitely use a new dynamic to our little fun club. H-heh, maybe I haven't really seemed all that "fun" myself, lately. I assure you, that's all contained to our present-day situation. Once Garnet resumes her role as the leader, I can go back to being more liberal with my behavior._

 _Anyway, I'm assuming Lapis will grow up by the time I leave this chamber and make amends with you. I feel like you two could get along great, so I hope that's what my treatment of you encourages. Maybe the PUU will bring you together in song; who knows. Lapis is more from your time, so you'll be able to relate to her on a great number of things. You'll be able to hold a more mature conversation with her than I ever could, for sure. That's sort of the problem with me and how well I take to the others… I'm the only Era 2. The rebellion, the war, the Pink Diamond and Rose Quartz stuff… all that happened well before I existed. Once I did emerge, Homeworld was in full swing with propaganda that heavily altered or removed the war from most of the data archives. I had no idea who Pink Diamond was, let alone Rose Quartz, and I didn't know what the "Crystal Gems" even were until I came to Earth. So it's been weird having everyone so hung up over the Rose-being-Pink Diamond thing… and I just didn't really care. I can understand how and why it would affect you, Bismuth. And I'm sorry you've had your whole world turned around on you… I just can't relate at all to the struggle. It's pointless to do so._

 _And while I cannot overstate how much your skills have made this mission so much easier; they're quite invaluable, in fact, I can't help but feel weird about… well, how antiquated your weaponry is. That's not your fault, of course. I hate telling you this because I know this is what made you legendary, but… when you've got time, perhaps consider educating yourself on how your line of work is done in the present day. It's a fine excuse to hone your skills, and it's important you continue to do so despite your well-earned notoriety. The moment you think you've made it in life and you're under the impression there's nothing more to be done to top your current achievement… that's the beginning of the end for you._

 _You're probably going to prove me wrong somehow, but I feel like my inevitable death should be much easier for you to accept than anyone else, if only because we've known each other for less than a single Earth week. You've been alive as long as some of the oldest gems here, so I shouldn't even be worth remembering once enough time passes!_

 _I'm hoping, similarly, you aren't stupid enough to consider going back to Homeworld if I'm the only casualty of this mission. Because maybe you think I'm just alive and captured. Maybe that will be the only thing that happens to me… but I still do not condone any of you putting yourselves in this kind of danger. All our friends in trouble right now -_ _ **especially**_ _Steven - are worth the risk to save at any and all costs. But me, by myself… no; I can't see the justification to such a thing. You have no idea how far we'll end up escalating the problem with the Diamonds once we rescue the others… but trust me when I say I'm going to be glorified bait for Steven and nothing more. This might sound like low self-esteem to you, but I'm being a realist, okay?! I'm just one Peridot among hundreds of millions in this empire - if you need another me that badly, just go kidnap one on your way out! I won't be able to forgive myself if anything happens to_ _ **any**_ _of you because you went back for me like I'm suspecting you would! So please, Bismuth! You're on my good side; please don't go out of your way to piss me off and defy this order from your superior officer._

 _I mean, what kind of cruddy captain am I if I can't get my charges to follow a single order?! I've got enough doubts about being a leader already– … is what I_ _ **would**_ _say if I was seriously that insecure! Hahaha. See, that was a test, Bismuth!_

 _Look, I like to think I'm not asking for much. I just don't want you risking your lives after I_ _ **gave**_ _my life to save yours! It's just disrespectful! What was the point in any of this if even one of you stupid idiots get killed or captured because you're coming just for me?! Stars forbid you let Steven join a mission like that. Then I'll REALLY never forgive you, Bismuth! I won't let you put him in danger over me! I_ _ **love**_ _him too much to let his– great. I'd retract that statement I didn't finish, but I have the distinct feeling you aren't going to buy into that._

 _I suppose I should be straight with you on one thing that was fairly recent – like why I flipped out just before we were set to take off into space. I'm supposed to be setting an example, but then I end up inconveniencing all of you over something I didn't even bother explaining. I am still mad at myself over it… because it was over a stupid picture. It was one of Steven, and there's no shortage of those in his house… but I took a couple with me the first night after we came together, because… you've probably noticed I've been a little… all over the place. But I always have been able to recover quickly enough… and it's because of Steven. He's my goal in all of this – I love the others and naturally I wish to save them even if it kills me to do it, but Steven's my… well, Lapis said he was my center of gravity. My whole world got flipped on its head and has nearly come apart so many times ever since I first got the news about what happened after I reformed. I called these stupid pictures my "gravity stabilizers" because they give me that feeling I need to keep it together. Two variants - this one with me and Steven, it's supposed to cheer me up. If I get too depressed for whatever reason, I won't be able to function as the head of this operation. The one with just Steven… that's the one that keeps my thoughts gathered. It's what I look to for strength. All I have to do is concentrate on it, and suddenly I feel… at peace. Things make sense again, and I remember what I'm doing this for. I needed a way to control this directly, because prior to this, only flashes of him in my memory would bring me back to where I need to be… and relying on my subconscious to flash a reminder of Steven at me when I'm about to lose it is way too risky. I can't count on that, but if I have ways to simulate the effect in tangible form, then there will be no need to gamble on an… unreliable-at-best aspect of my sentient self._

 _It's not really a simple matter when I said I loved him. I love him in all kinds of ways because of how integral he was to my transition from Yellow Diamond's mindless lackey to a free-spirited individual who gladly fights for Earth. I owe everything I am now to Steven. Absolutely everything. I don't even want to think of living my life without him in it. I won't accept it, Bismuth. So losing him is_ _ **not an option**_ _._

 _I can't assure you – any of you – that I won't do something absolutely reprehensible if we were to lose Steven. There's a good chance I'll have an identity crisis and… and I might become your enemy. Not that I'd side with the Diamonds again; I mean more like… more like corruption. I don't know if it's possible, but I just know you won't be able to distinguish me from a corrupted gem once I –_ _ **we**_ _lose him!_

 _So promise me, Bismuth… if that's what becomes of me should we lose Steven for any reason… I'm giving you the order to shatter me. You won't be able to rehabilitate me, because I won't be myself anymore. There will be nothing for my damaged self to return to, because all the best parts about me… they'll die with Steven. I won't be the great and lovable Peridot anymore, so as leader of the Crystal Gems as of this recording… you are all under obligation to shatter me under these conditions. This is not a request, and it certainly isn't a negotiation: this is an order. I expect you at least, Bismuth, to understand and respect your superior officer's authority. After all… it's not like I ever poofed and bubbled you over a disagreement and threw you away into the abyss, right?_

… _I don't like guilt-tripping you into something like this, but it was necessary, Bismuth. I need my teammates to be loyal to me… no matter how much you don't want to follow my orders. You should know this better than anyone._

 _I'm sorry we couldn't have spent more time together, Bismuth. I've really enjoyed my time building our ship with you, even if you and Lapis agitated me at times. I'll at least have fond, recent memories to think about in my final moments. Unlike most of the others, I actually managed to properly utilize my time to…. "hang out" with you as much as I could, given our restrictions. I really do love you, Bismuth. Just a few days in, and you already feel like a member of my family. Maybe a cool big cousin…_

 _Anyway… I wish you the best. If you'll excuse me, I need to take a minute to find out how I'm gonna roast the sea-beast._

 _With pride, respect, and honor… I sign off for the final time: Peridot Facet-2F5L Cut-5XG."_

* * *

Unlike the past messages, there was nothing past the final sign-off. Given her time limit in that setting, it wasn't like she was going to get interrupted by anyone, and there was no time to spare for a PS. Bismuth didn't know this was a tradition for half of her friends' messages, but she would find out soon enough when she reunited with the others.

Right now, the sky was clear and a full moon was out. Bismuth sat in place for a moment, absorbing the words addressed to her.

"Peri, I seriously wonder… if it was you sittin' here and me giving you that message… would you have followed it? Because I seriously doubt it; nothing stops you at all when you want something. You really don't know your own strength, do you?"

Bismuth knew it was pointless even saying this when nobody else was with her, but it was the first thing she had in mind and needed to throw it out there. Bismuth wasn't quite driven to tears, but she came close. She didn't expect Peridot to so solidly defend her regarding her incident with Rose; it was rather refreshing to hear a point of view from someone so completely removed from the situation. It felt comforting to know at least one of the Crystal Gems understood her philosophy.

"And don't you worry about your lil' "center of gravity", hun." Of course Bismuth was endlessly amused by this choice of phrasing. She was going to have to commend Lapis for encouraging her to use that terminology. "We'll protect him with our lives, just as we always do. And we know and love him as Steven Universe; not Rose Quartz. And know this, Peri: Steven's not gonna be as well as you think if you're not with him. We're gonna prove it…"

She stood up after putting away her prism and looked out to the ocean; the waves were definitely coming in more aggressively than usual, but it wasn't the sign of an oncoming hurricane. Bismuth knew that had to be Lapis. She must have been at that for at least 14 hours straight. Was she really all right?

As Bismuth made her way walking along the shore back to the beach house, she spotted a fire and a van… and unsurprisingly, Bismuth eventually spotted Greg Universe in the distance, by himself.

Bismuth knew she needed to start heading back to the house, but she was compelled to stick around… it wasn't long before she figured out why.

Greg and Lapis were _her_ crew. Or more accurately, Peridot's. All four of them were in this together, in this very spot the other night ago. Starting from the point when Peridot reformed and being told what was going on up until this very moment, it had been just the four of them for the majority of the time. And with Peridot "fallen" for the moment, that meant Bismuth headed their team.

She couldn't leave these two out on their own like this. She needed to be there for them, and make sure they had done what Garnet ordered them to do. So she made a beeline for Greg, but not aggressively so. Greg wouldn't be surprised by her presence.

"Hey there, Bismuth. Are you checking out the stars too, or are you worried that Lapis might or might not be planning to drown us all by midnight?" Greg sounded relatively relaxed, even after the latter part of his statement.

"Hm… did she talk to you at all today?" Bismuth inquired, rightfully looking wary of this statement.

Greg just laughed and shook his head. "Nah, nah. That's just my wild imagination getting the better of me," he explained. "I haven't seen her since she flew out over the ocean this morning. I've lived in this area for long, _looooong_ time, Bismuth. I can tell something's up when the tides are coming up so aggressively."

"Guess I'll just need to talk her out of it, then," Bismuth decided. " _Water_ we else gonna do?"

That elicited a full, but brief fit of laughter from Greg. "Oh, Bismuth! Nothing stops you from your wordplay!"

"Hey, somebody's gotta raise morale in this team right now," Bismuth said confidently. "Garnet may be back leading the full team, but Peri passed down her position of _our_ team to me. And from the looks of things, it looks like the Peri team are the only ones out here instead of mingling with our fellow Crystal Gems."

"Huh… looks like you're right." Greg had seen Pearl pass by not too long ago, and she looked much more relaxed than he's ever been used to seeing her. He caught a glimpse of Garnet entering even earlier than that, and knew everyone else was definitely inside already.

Very odd coincidence that only Peridot's makeshift teammates remained outside, isolated from everyone until now. Bismuth was determined to bring them together.

"Besides, I don't really count as a Crystal Gem," Greg brought up with a tone of unease. "This mission here is the most involved I've been with you guys on a productive level. I know I'm not meant for this sort of thing. I'm pretty sure Peridot "drafted" me because she was desperate and probably pitied me."

"Is that what Peri told you in her message?"

Greg clenched his teeth on reflex. "Er… I h-haven't watched it yet," he admitted. "I'm trying to find a good time, but no time is a good time! It was just a few days ago when it was me sitting in this exact spot, giving Peridot some hot cocoa to help her out. You two came _this_ close to making her pass out."

Bismuth stepped over and kneeled to pat Greg on the shoulder. "I understand where you're comin' from; I just watched mine a few minutes ago. If you've got any doubts about Peri's authority or don't know what she thinks of you… give your video a watch, Greg. She can be real enlightening without even meaning to."

"Yeah…" Greg sighed. "I need to get it over with. I just… I thought I'd be done with this after Rose…"

Bismuth chuckled. "Peridot's no Rose Quartz, Greg. She's the great and lovable Peridot from start to finish. You don't really believe she's dead, do you?"

Greg shook his head. "I don't… everyone's made a good point about the hostage thing. But based on what you all told me about White Diamond, that just makes me worry like crazy. Poor Peridot might be _wishing_ for death even if we save her, you know?"

"We can't let those thoughts control us, Greg," Bismuth told him. "Instead, think about the fact that your son's been in bed _all day long_. And the only way we're gonna get him up is with the power of Peri. But we can't use that power until you and Lapis watch your messages!"

"Cripes! He's still asleep in there?!" Greg was very worried now. "Wh-why didn't anyone tell me sooner?! I gotta get in there!"

"Hold up on that." Bismuth kept a hold on his shoulder to keep him planted on the sand. "Steven's got plenty of eyes watchin' over him right now. If something really went wrong, we'd have been told by now. If you wanna help your boy, man up and watch Peri's message. Don't disrespect your leader, Greg!"

Greg bowed down his head, looking embarrassed. "Right, right… you're right." He pulled out his prism from his pocket. "Uh… so how does this work?"

"Wave your hand over it, then hold it up," Bismuth said softly. "It should position itself for you and play the video automatically." She halted Greg before he did as she instructed. "Ah-ah. She said she wanted only her recipients to hear her message. So I'm gonna head out. Gonna scout the shorelines; see if I can find Lapis anywhere."

"Are you two meeting up here when you find her?" Greg asked. "Because I'll stick around after my message if you want."

Bismuth smiled down at the grown man. "I'd like that. Let's have our own little team huddle before we head back in. I'll make sure Lapis plays along."

Greg seemed comforted with that idea. "Yeah… I think Peridot would appreciate our solidarity. The others might be back with us now, but…"

Bismuth nodded as she stood and headed for the shoreline. "But we'll always be that special squadron of Crystal Gems who answered their call for help. And yes, that includes you, big boy. Now have fun with your message."

"Th-thanks for the vote of confidence," Greg called back. "We'll see where I stand pretty soon, I guess. Let's… let's do it to it."

He waved his hand over the prism, and Greg sat back as he watched the magic happen.

* * *

 **[ NEXT LOG: GREG ]**


	6. Greg

**Notes:**

I don't think I've noted it before because I wasn't sure if it was obvious to you all or not, but the Log Date ETA is Estimated Time of Arrival in reference to being on the space ship en route to Homeworld - meanwhile the previous Log Date TTC files take place as the ship is being made, so it's Time To Completion.

Also, that's my last easy entry. Lapis and Steven are definitely gonna take more than a couple of days to do. I'll try and do them justice!

* * *

"… _Log Date ETA: 94 minutes…_

 _PUU… honestly, given the nature of what I'm about to tell you, I need to call you by your lame proper name. Just for this, though. You're welcome._

 _Greg. It's a delight to talk to you one last time… even if it's just me talking at you when you're not really there. Yeah… if you're seeing this, then I must be dead. And I pre-emptively apologize for being so incompetent that I couldn't avoid being killed by… oh, anything on Homeworld. I can't even begin to list the possible causes… I'd be here all day. Still, I'm obviously a major clod if I couldn't keep myself alive for my own mission. You must be okay if you're watching this, so… I'm gonna assume you're all okay. And that's all I need to rest in peace._

 _You can probably tell where I am right now. I had just finished speaking with you before I started this video. I suppose that's why I decided to start with you first. I'll admit, had I not gotten to know you when we started this mission, I might have never considered making this for you. But I'm giving Bismuth one, and I've only known her for a few days. And you've more than earned your spot on my team, Greg._

 _I know it sounds ludicrous, but I'm really glad I decided to bring you along with us. Sure, you can't help at all in a fight, but you can still protect what's important to us – by that I mean our PeriLuck here – and more than that… you know, Greg, I think you're the heart of the team. You're fair and impartial to our many team spats, you do your best to keep the peace, you go out of your way to play music to lift our spirits… and, I'll admit it did lift mine._

 _You know, I was so proud of myself when I was able to teach Steven's song to you. I haven't learned anything about music yet – you know, the notes and the sheets and memorizing which key does what sound – but I somehow still pulled it off playing it by ear in my memory. That was amazing… and it was a new kind of exhilaration. It's just a pity you didn't have the proper instrument for it, but it's still passable with a guitar. I can't believe you got me to sing that whole thing and tried to do it a second time… music is such a weird concept and I obviously don't have a full understanding of it. I guess… I won't get the chance to. But I'm really happy that I was able to teach you a song without any musical credentials to speak of._

 _Talking to you is very different from talking to Lapis or Bismuth, you know. But I mean that in a good way, Greg. I think you saved me that first night… I really was on the verge of collapsing. I didn't tell you back then, but I was amazed how right you were about that cocoa stuff making me feel better. I don't know how, but I guess it works for gems like it does for humans. Sometimes we're not so different, huh._

 _You've never pressured me with any tough questions, demands, or doubt. You just let me talk at my own pace and you kept to yourself when you were supposed to. I guess it's not so surprising you were a great reliever of my stress that came from making our space ship a reality in such a short amount of time, but it kind of reminds me of my other means of therapy. You're probably still wondering why I spazzed out right before liftoff, right? Well, in lieu of my death, I owe you the explanation._

 _The first night after I talked to you, I went inside the beach house. I was locked out of all the Crystal Gems' bedrooms, so my only choices were the bathroom_ _ **like always**_ _or the couch, or…. Or Steven's bed. I'm sorry about that… but I really think your offspring is the only reason why I haven't completely fallen apart. I felt so calm and protected. But before it lulled me to sleep, I found a binder of photographs under his bed. I, uh… kinda took a couple. Sorry about that. I think they were ones that had copies, at least. Just one with Steven and me during a trip to Funland, and a nice little picture of Steven by himself._

 _See, the first one makes me happy. I can't be an effective leader if I'm depressed, and right now I have plenty to be depressed about since I'm worried sick for your offspring and his friends every second of every day. I need some assurance there's light at the end of this long, long tunnel. The second picture… this is what I use when I need strength. Not literal physical strength, but… the ability to get over my other various problems you've all seen me having. He pulls me back together when I'm about to explode into pieces… h-he's my little center of gravity, you might say. So, these pictures serve as a function: they are my gravity stabilizers. I don't have time to let my mind wander; we've got a mission going on and I need to act like a real leader, because I fear I'm sucking at it so far._

 _I can tell you were worried about me just before I entered this chamber. Is it because my behavior got kind of… odd towards the end of our meeting? I know anyone can tell from the sound of my voice whether or not anything's wrong. I can't mask that very well. I'll admit, I had remembered at that point that I only made out personal messages to half of my friends, and I definitely wasn't going to have time to do the other half while we're on_ _ **Homeworld**_ _of all places. I mean, seriously, who could be that stupid? So I panicked, but I didn't let it show. It took everything in me to hold back on those feelings, you know? And then I realized Lapis still hadn't resolved her stupid grudge over Bismuth. It was important to take care of that matter, and it provided perfect coverage for my own project. I hope it's turning out that way, at least._

 _So… yeah. My entire role as a leader has a foundation of two pictures of your offspring and my stubborn drive to go against anything, even things I want to do or say. I know it's super weird… but I assumed you've seen weirder over the years._

 _You… had some interesting points of view, Greg. Like when you said I possessed a maternal instinct even though such a thing could never be possible for a gem as we don't bear offspring like your species does! I-I mean… Rose_ _ **somehow**_ _made it possible, but she had to die for it. She couldn't be a maternal unit for Steven based on the laws of gemetics. This was something I learned in my Homeworld days. Two exact copies of the same gem, right down to the facet code and cut series, cannot exist at the same time. And if you were to achieve this somehow and let the two gems touch, that would obliterate… everything. Absolutely everything. The entire universe would cease to be. Apparently, a tangible paradox has that kind of power. Who knew? A-anyway, sorry I went on a tangent there. You probably didn't care to hear all of that just now, but I don't think you were ever properly told the real reason why Rose and Steven can't co-exist. And I wanted to help. Does my help ever really help? Mmmh._

 _You said you saw that "instinct" in me whenever Pumpkin came to see me when I talked with you. I-I'm not sure what you meant by that, really. I mean, Steven's the one who gave life to Pumpkin. Honestly, if anyone should be considered Pumpkin's maternal unit, it's Steven. She even liked Steven way more than me at first. And you couldn't be comparing Pumpkin to Steven; I'm certain of that. Is it… is it what I did, or how I acted around her? I know I kinda seem like another gem entirely when I give her love and attention, but… instinct would imply an action or a behavior, wouldn't it… I-I, um… if I wasn't dead, I'd be looking into this._

 _O-oh, that reminds me. Steven can take care of Pumpkin in my place. I know that Lapis seems like the more appropriate candidate, but Greg, don't forget how flippant she is. I mean, you saw that behavior yourself on the first day. How can she take care of Pumpkin if she's flying off to stars-know-where every other day?! Pumpkin is an everyday job! An enjoyable one, but still! Pumpkin can't handle constant wandering about halfway across the world and she can't survive being neglected for so long! That's just cruel!_

 _U-um… Greg, was that maternal instinct? I feel way more upset about this than I should be… hmph._

 _So, yeah. A lot of what you say sounds as coherent to me as a foreign sentence fresh off a cheap internet translator, but I've noticed that's common with you artistic types. I'm not sure if Homeworld even has an equivalent of your kind, to be honest… music as a concept was new to me, so that definitely wasn't a thing where I came from. Art in general… that's trickier to determine. Some humans here claim "everything is art", but I think that's stretching logic a_ _ **bit**_ _far. And the foundation of art is, well… subjectivity. I don't do well with that… I'm more of an objectivist. I suppose you and your offspring have proved that I'm not incapable of understanding the subject, since I was able to teach you a song and everything… and Steven got me to create lyrics on the spot. I've learned about many of Earth's iconic landmarks that are considered works of art; that includes the ones with a completely different and more sensible primary function. A lot of the buildings… the "skyscrapers" as humans called them… some of the more extraordinary designs are reminiscent of certain structures built on Homeworld. A very odd coincidence, I'm certain of that… but if things like that can be considered art, I suppose Bismuths are probably the closest of gemkind you could call an "artist". It makes sense; our Bismuth certainly has a creative aptitude to create an entirely new color of the plating from the Diamonds' ships based on the simple principle as mixing tangible pigments together._

 _It really is fascinating to learn about these concepts that are just alien to me otherwise. Even if I don't fully grasp them yet, I really want to be able to "get it" one day. Not become a master, of course… just like how no gems on Homeworld under the Diamonds were meant to specialize in anything beyond their primary function, it seems humanity – while much more capable of having a variety of specialties – can't master everything, either. But I suppose that's a good thing… our specialties are a large part of our overall identity, are they not? If everyone could do everything, that aspect of our individual being would cease to exist._

 _But it doesn't mean I can't learn as much as I possibly can. I'm surprised the other Crystal Gems have been relatively set in their ways. Amethyst is an exception to that, but most of the others – and I'm counting Lapis here – they seem content to just do their own thing, as if they can't or won't integrate themselves with humanity any more than they have to. I'm here throwing myself headfirst into anything I can grab my hands on, and the others just… don't seem inclined to try them out, either. Not unless Steven goads them into it. Like, you know how I've taken up farming and all that – I wasn't aware until recently that there are certain things you can't grow depending on the season. And during the late stages of autumn, all of winter, and the early stages of spring, you can hardly grow anything at all due to the drop in average temperature and the weather that comes with the cold air._

 _That's too much time for me to not do anything just because your Earth vegetation is too sensitive to handle a modest drop in average temperature! So I've been trying a lot of other things over the past few months to pass the time, you know? I'd be here all day telling you about them and I only have just barely over an hour to get through this and make out messages to everyone else before we arrive to our destination. So… it's time for me to get into some_ _ **mega**_ _awkward territory here._

 _I know I don't need to tell you to watch over Steven in my absence. As his paternal unit, that's literally your job description, is it not? And now that I've gotten to know you, and I see where Steven gets so many of his admirable traits from, I have no doubts about your competence in continuing that role. I'd tell you not to try and rescue me in case there's even a remote chance I'm just alive and captured, but we both know you can't do that on your own. Even if you stood by my decision, I'm certain the others will outvote you and drag you into it, anyway. So, I'm not gonna threaten you over this like I have to the others. And I won't hold it against you._

 _So, let's skip to the part I hate doing the most for these messages… Steven himself. I have so far promised everyone I've made a message to that I would die with a clear conscience, which requires me to confess everything I've never wanted to confess for various reasons. There's really only one thing I've kept to myself that's even relevant to you… and that's how I feel about Steven._

 _You think you know where this is going, but… it's much more complex than that, I think. You're aware that Steven is responsible for almost 98% of what I've learned here on Earth, right? Let's just round that up to 100%, because that's how it feels for me. Greg, I wasn't anything like this before I got stranded on Earth. The me you like seeing when I care for Pumpkin? Didn't exist in any way, shape, or form when I lived on Homeworld. I just did my job, worked hard for attention and praise… and, well. You remember the story I just told you not too long before I came in here. I was numb to a lot of things that would give me the gem equivalent of a coronary today. If I could dig deeper into the "feelings" I have in place of where memories should be, I don't think anyone's going to like that I find… least of all, myself. It's a terrifying prospect._

 _Steven made me who I am today, Greg. He rebuilt my life step-by-step. He can be an annoying little twit at times, but it's impossible for me to come even close to hating him. It's just as impossible for me not to love him._

 _A-and when I say "love", Greg… I mean that in so many ways. Steven and his friends… and you, by this point, became the family I never had. There's still a lot of family-related subjects I don't understand, as I told you before, but it's a comfort to truly be part of one regardless. I'm not sure what role you all see me in… I'll admit that does make me curious. But also nervous, because… Steven's also a good friend to me. He's my best friend, right up there with Amethyst. He's a friend who always knows how to help me when I'm having trouble with something. He likes to talk to me. He likes to listen to me talk… we've had so many conversations. We play all varieties of Earth games together. We explore together. We learn together. We work together. We support each other in hard times. We've even saved the Earth together… just the two of us. At one point we thought we were both gonna die down there, and… we just hugged each other, thinking these were our final moments. I asked him if he had any last words… he said, "I love you, Peridot". I know what kind of love he was referring to, as I felt it…_

 _But since then, part of my subconscious has been stuck on that moment. I felt like the final seal on the true potential of my identity was broken that day… because I felt another kind of love for the first time. I imagined my life without Steven, and I_ _ **hated**_ _it. I couldn't accept it. I need him in my life, because he_ _ **is**_ _my life. Without Steven, there_ _ **is no "**_ _Great and Lovable" Peridot. I never want to lose him, okay? Even if he doesn't… you know, reciprocate my amorous sentiments, I'll settle for him as a friend. As a member of my family. As long as he's in my life, I'll be satiated. But if he goes, I eventually will, too. I'll corrupt. I'll be unrecognizable; you'd all have to put me down, because even If you cured me, I still won't_ _ **be**_ _anything._

 _He truly is my center of gravity. Steven keeps me together. Since he's imperiled on another planet right now, that's… mostly the reason why I'm having a hard time keeping it together, hence my need for the gravity stabilizers. And I have no idea if you're even okay with the concept of me loving your offspring that way. I can't control your feelings on the matter… I'm just optimistic enough to hope you'd be okay with it. If you're not… well, no need to worry since I'm dead now, right?_

 _I just want to be with him… as much as I can. I have so much of this stupid "love" for Steven, I'm about to burst, you know?! I owe him my entire life. Steven showed me what life_ _ **is**_ _. So I want to give him my life, so we can always be together and do the things we do whenever we want. I want to be a permanent part of his life… I just know, somehow, I won't find any of this anywhere else. Anyone else._

 _It's not like this is unprecedented, right…? You fell in love with a gem despite being an organic with a finite lifespan. So I fell in love with a hybrid gem-organic… it's similar enough. If you think about it… we kinda fell in love with the exact same gem. A Diamond, in actuality. Completely different people, of course, but the same gem—Diamond—whatever. I don't know if it'll work out for me like it did for you, but I can deal with it if it doesn't happen like that. I'll keep him as a friend, and a member of my family. I've been so scared to_ _ **lose**_ _those aspects of my relationship with Steven, you know? I feel like if I start seeing him in a romantic sense, I can't see him as a friend or family member anymore. The nature of our relationship will change drastically if I go this route. Why can't I retain all facets of my relationship with him? I… I really am a clod on this subject. And it's irrelevant now as you watch this. I guess for all your help, you deserve not only to know of my loving dedication to your offspring, you deserve to see me make a fool of myself rambling on like this._

 _But… I think that'll do it for our time. I still need to make messages for Bismuth and Lapis, and… y'know, I've got like an hour to do them. Sorry to break the flow like this. I just hope you got what you wanted from my final message to you._

 _-Oh, and Greg? I really meant it when I said I was glad I took you with us. I'll admit this started out of sheer desperation, but you've helped us far more than you realize. Perhaps the original Crystal Gems work so well together because they have that human element with Steven… and that's exactly what we needed. And you turned out to be perfect for the job. Even if Garnet and the others deny it, never forget that in the Peridot Patrol… you_ _ **are**_ _a Crystal Gem. Never let anyone tell you otherwise._

 _With the fullest extent of my support and appreciation for your help, I sign off for the final time…_

 _Peridot Facet-2F5L Cut-5XG."_

* * *

That was way, **way** more than Greg expected. He was honestly very overwhelmed. And he couldn't help but shed some tears… the man had seen the softer side of Peridot a few times, but this message showed the man the full extent of how precious and vulnerable she really was under all of that egotistical gloating and self-assurance.

"Well… thanks for giving me a clear answer, Peridot," Greg said out loud as he took the prism and pocketed it. "So I am a Crystal Gem, huh… and history's almost repeating itself. Your gem—or Diamond, it's really that irresistible, isn't it, Rose? Our son's a love magnet just like you are… I think I see what Bismuth was getting at earlier about how to get Steven out of his funk."

He stood up. "I told her I'd stay here, but if I'm a Crystal Gem, I oughta be helping Bismuth, too. It's been way too long since Lapis took off. Man, I wish I still had my boat…"

"Did I just hear you declare yourself a Crystal Gem? And did you say _boat?_ "

"Bismuth!" Greg was very surprised. "Uh… how long have you been listening…?"

"Long enough to hear you say you're a Crystal Gem, and that you have some _Bismuth_ to attend to with Lapis," Bismuth cheerfully replied before her face became somber. "I swear I've looked around all the way up to the lighthouse and haven't seen a trace of her. Sure, I get to see one obnoxious nutjob all about conspiracies or whatever, but not a single blue gem."

Greg laughed at that; he could only imagine how Bismuth dealt with Ronaldo… it was rather comical in his head. "So that means she's _way_ far out there, maybe even past the shelf."

"The shelf?" Bismuth didn't quite get it.

"The, uh, the continental shelf. Past that point, you're in the open ocean and the ground below you takes a huge nosedive," Greg explained. "Maybe she thought she needed to be far away to vent without putting us in danger?"

Bismuth nodded. "That makes sense. But she's had more than enough time to get that out of her system, don't you think?"

"Yeah, she really needs to come back," Greg agreed. "But we can't contact her from here; we'd need a good boat to make it out that far."

"Hey now, that's why I came back for you," Bismuth said with a wink. "After buildin' a space ship in under 3 days, it was a cinch to build a makeshift boat in about 20 minutes. I can't promise it'll be that good of a boat, but Lapi can take us home herself after we find her mopey butt. All we need is the means to find her that far out. You think it'll do, Greg?"

Greg sighed as he looked over the boat. It definitely looked like the rush job it was, but at the very least Bismuth made sure it was sturdy with no vulnerabilities to possible leaking. The problem is that since Bismuth was an architect and not a technician, it was beyond her means to make an engine. All they had to work with are paddles and a single sail.

"I'm not looking forward to the exercise I'm gonna get out of this," he grumbled. "But if it's to find Lapis, I'll deal. She's more important, y'know."

"That's what I like to hear!" Bismuth commended as they both boarded the boat. "Peri Patrol, move out!"

As the boat took off from a very forceful hammer-hand blow curved up from behind it, Greg looked concerned again. "I think you heard more than you let on..."

* * *

It was tough to navigate since the waters were very choppy, but luckily Bismuth was more than able to power through them with her arms. Greg paddled, but he knew he was only barely helping at best. Lapis finally came into sight far into the sky at a distance where the Crystal Temple looked like some nondistinctive mass of pixels emitting light. But she had been "spotted" a while ago when Bismuth and Greg noticed some odd ocean behavior that would never happen naturally.

Lapis indeed had been this far out in the ocean for nearly 18 hours. She had admitted to herself that her performance on the mission was subpar, because she wasn't good enough yet to master the art of limited water abilities. The ocean just made everything so much easier… and it was a perfect venue for venting. Lapis had a lot of anger in her for many reasons: of course, losing Peridot was such a case, but also the Blue Diamond fiasco still hadn't quite left her. She figured it would soon enough, because Blue Diamond _had_ to be dead by this point… it made her all the more furious at White Diamond. She knew she would soon be going back to that world, and going there the first time around was a huge struggle for her… and it was a struggle only Peridot could hold down back then. With her former roommate gone, Lapis was back to her desires to just run away from it all. So many painful events happened in quick succession… but she at least knew she shouldn't be messing with the ocean so close to her friends. Lapis did not want to hold back for absolutely anything.

"LAPIS! Hey, Lapis! Come on down, already! Let's go home!" Bismuth called out, but she received no answer.

Lapis stood tall on a giant pillar of water while she moved her arms accordingly to manipulate the water around her. She could easily create water tornadoes, though she dispelled them if they ever started to head towards Beach City. Lapis was violently angry, but she didn't want to actually hurt anybody. She did a variety of tricks with two smaller pillars of water that moved like tentacles, spraying water about and created a concentrated ball of water which Lapis shot into the distance. It would never get far enough to reach the shore, but anyone outside the beach house would think someone dropped a bomb in the water once it finally fell.

" **LAPIS!** " Greg called out to no avail. He looked worriedly towards Bismuth. "Bismuth, I don't think she can even hear us. And if we get too close, we're probably gonna get caught up in her little… stunt here."

"Hmm, I think you're right about the sound of the water blockin' us out. Her being so high up doesn't help, either," Bismuth mentioned, sounding annoyed. "If we did get caught up in her stunt, she'd notice us then…"

"Maaaaybe we can try something a _little_ bit safer," Greg suggested as he dug around in his pocket and found a quarter. He was uneasy with the thought of just tossing away a coin, but it was either that or the prism containing Peridot's message. One was worth a lot more than the other. "I hate to suggest something that'll inflict pain, but this'll at least get her attention and it'll stop this. I'm sure you're strong enough to throw it up that far and—"

"Ooh, and _nail_ her with this?" Bismuth looked far too eager to try this out as she took the coin. "I like the way you think, Greg. Yeah, I _know_ I can make this shot. Gonna make sure it's right upside her head… she can't ignore that."

Greg winced. "Just… don't hurt her too much. Don't give her an excuse to throw us farther out here!"

"Tch, it'll just sting for a bit. I think Lapis needs a little sense knocked into her, anyway." Bismuth stood up and reared back for the perfect position like a baseball player up to bat, then shot the quarter up at a blinding speed.

It wasn't that difficult since Lapis was barely moving at all; everything she concentrated on, every aquatic feat she conjured fell apart as the gem was bonked in the side of her head by some unknown projectile that Lapis had no time to identify.

" _ **OW! WHO DARES?!"**_

Somehow, she knew it wasn't Mother Nature. Lapis glanced down and spotted a tiny boat, and within a second identified Bismuth and Greg inside…

… and their boat was right next to where her water tower and other water projectiles collapsed. Lapis' eyes widened as she instantly realized the trouble she inadvertently put her friends in. She flew down as fast as she could, but couldn't make it before the water engulfed the boat _and_ her friends. After a moment of being horrified when not seeing either of them resurface, she flew straight into the ocean, determined to catch them both.

Thankfully, they weren't far away from a horizontal distance, but the weight of the falling water tower managed to push Bismuth and Greg much further down vertically than usual. If they sunk any further, it would be too dark to see them, and Lapis' gem was in the worst possible position to use as a flashlight.

Bismuth and Greg were very lucky they had an aquatic expert as their friend, as Lapis zipped straight down like a torpedo to snatch Bismuth in one hand and Greg with her other. Lapis manipulated the water to boost them all back to the surface within a mere few seconds, and took to the sky as she carried both of her friends… but clearly struggled in doing so. She waited until they both finished coughing up seawater from their throats before giving them some sass.

"I hope you both learned a lesson here," Lapis said darkly. "You don't interrupt my _me_ time."

"Your "me time" has gone on for almost a full day!" Bismuth shot back. "You gotta come back eventually!"

"Uh, Bismuth, maybe you shouldn't talk back to someone who could _strand us_ here…" Greg was so grateful at being saved. He got enough of the ocean for the next few years, he thought. Now he just wanted return to dry land.

"See? At least I have one friend who isn't a total idiot," Lapis followed up, sounding oh-so smug. "Garnet said we had the day to ourselves. A day on Earth is 24 hours. I guarantee you I haven't used more than 20 yet, so I don't see the problem."

"Ah, so you took it literally…" Greg understood now. "We were hoping you'd spend some of that time just talking with your friends, that's all."

Lapis' expression softened, but still had some clear strain from carrying two of her very heavy friends. Riding with Steven, this was not. "I… I didn't know you had that in mind. I figured everyone would just be on their own for the whole day…"

"Really? Were you seriously considering reading your message to Peri all the way out here?" Bismuth asked with disbelief.

As Lapis sighed, her friends knew they hit a sore spot. They got concerned as they suddenly descended and were put back into the water.

"Look, I could carry one of you just fine, but two big friends like you? No, no, no. We're doing this another way. Just sit tight while I think of something."

"Uh… it's not like we can go anywhere," Greg awkwardly pointed out as he tried to keep his head above the water. "Sorry, Lapis. I didn't think that through…"

Lapis turned around furiously. " **You're** the one who did that?" She then calmed down. "No, that's impossible. A human like you couldn't throw that high and that hard."

"It was Greg's idea, but I'm the one who executed it, if you're lookin' for your culprit," Bismuth admitted. "We tried calling for you, but you were too high up and the water's too dang loud."

"… Oh." Lapis pouted a bit; they actually had a good reason to hit her head. "Okay. I've got an idea."

Lapis floated down between Greg and Bismuth and submerged herself into the water. "We're holding hands, team," she said dryly. "And if you wanna live, you'd better not let go."

Said teammates wisely grabbed each of Lapis' hands under the water. Then, with a few seconds of concentration, all three rose up. It looked like they were standing on water as Lapis ascended a bit higher than her friends to keep them at that level. On each pair of feet were pairs of water skis… only made entirely out of ice.

"Figured I should at least make the ride back home fun," Lapis said apologetically. "You know, for almost drowning you."

"I have no idea what this even is," Bismuth admitted. "But I'll take your word for it."

"My feet are not gonna like this by the time we get home," Greg said nervously. "But I haven't done this in years. It's a lot of fun, Bismuth!"

Bismuth smiled nervously. "I'll take your word for it, hun."

"Well, let me know when to speed up," Lapis said as her feet touched the water and landed slightly ahead of her two partners; all three were still joined by her hands. "Have fun while you can… I'm not looking forward to our talk when we make landfall."

With that. Lapis sped off, dragging her two teammates behind her as they got the pleasure of water skiing all the way home.

* * *

The ice skis quickly melted off once they reached the beach. Not a moment too soon, as Greg's feet were stinging hard with the pain.

"Good thing the fire's still going," he grunted as he made his way over there. "Heal me up, my flames!"

Lapis eyed Bismuth as he walked towards the fire. "So, where are we taking this conversation?"

Bismuth rose a brow at Lapis. "Where he goes. He's a part of the team as much as you or me."

"Pssh… are you for real?" Lapis wasn't buying it. "He went on one mission. That doesn't make him a member of the team. All he did was guard the ship."

"Which is an important job even if it's not as glamorous as what we do," Bismuth scolded her. "Besides that, Peri herself confirmed that as far as _our_ team of four is concerned, Greg's a Crystal Gem as much as you or me. You gonna question her authority, Lapis?"

"Of course not," Lapis shot back, turning her nose up at Bismuth. "I do question whether or not you're telling me the truth, because I don't think even Peridot would be that stupid."

"Well, we do have proof," Bismuth said with a smirk. "Ain't that right, Greg? You're officially a Crystal Gem!"

Greg was a bit of a distance away, but he could tell the two gems were talking about him. He held out a thumbs-up as he rested his poor feet close to the fire. "Uh, yeah! I can play that part for you if you want, Lapis!"

Something Greg said made Lapis visibly shudder. It wasn't too hard to figure out what. Bismuth wrapped an arm around Lapis' shoulder and gently urged her closer to the fire where Greg was. "Lapis, as a team, we seriously need to talk some stuff out. And when I say team, I mean the Peri Patrol. So, just us. Everyone else is inside. You can handle that, right?"

Lapis was slightly more at ease after hearing that. She did seriously fear she was getting dragged to an intervention, but if was just her oddball teammates, that made it much less daunting. She still really didn't want to talk about anything, but she sighed, relented, and sat down next to the fire not far from where Greg was. Bismuth took a seat close to Lapis.

Greg looked up at the starry night sky and sighed. "I'd say this feels like old times, like a few days ago old times, but… it's missing someone. We know who."

Everyone just sighed. No one had a single word to add to that; they knew it and were still reeling from it.

"Oh, uh, Lapis," Greg said, trying to save face. "I keep forgetting to say it, but your new outfit's pretty cool."

"What–?" Lapis was caught off-guard by that and blushed. "O-oh… uh, thank you."

"I think it's very fitting for you," Bismuth added. "I'm sorry it took so long for one of us to even notice your new look since you reformed. It just... happened at a bad time. I'm sure the others are gonna shower you with compliments next time they see you."

Lapis blushed harder. "I just remember after we were at Peridot's work station… you know, after it was fried and blown up, Bismuth… there were pieces of shattered glass and crystal all over the floor. At that time, I decided I was going to consider some footwear."

Bismuth chuckled. "Good thing you got some so soon, then. You can avoid the kinda pain poor Greg is havin' right now."

That made Lapis chuckle, as well as Greg himself. "Hey, it's okay," Greg assured. "I've been through way worse than this; trust me. Take my advice: never take a dare to walk through a burning coal pit."

Now that made Bismuth start giggling along with Lapis. "W-wow! What kind of stupid human custom _is_ that?" Lapis had to ask through her laughing.

Greg just smiled and shrugged. "A dare, like I said. Most dares are stupid and dangerous stuff no one should ever be doing. Stuff I hope Steven is never goaded into. If either of you come across him in that situation, please stop him." He was serious, but his tone was still light and jovial.

"We'll always protect Steven," Lapis promised. "It's not just what Peridot wants; we want it, too."

This seemed to be the perfect opportunity to steer the conversation the way two of the teammates intended. "Lapis, if you want to protect Steven right now, we're gonna need your help. We're gonna need _everybody_ to help him right now," Bismuth gently informed her. "He went straight to bed when we came home, and he's been like that ever since."

"You didn't consider that maybe he's just really exhausted?" Lapis inquired. "He has gone through a _lot_ over these past few days."

"You have a point, but sleeping for 18 straight hours isn't normal for a human, Lapis," Greg said. "He won't leave his bed, he won't talk to anybody… and wants nothing to do with Peridot's message to him."

That made Lapis' tired eyes snap open. "What are you saying? He wouldn't do that," she argued. "Maybe he's tired _because_ he saw her sappy, lovey-dovey message."

"Then why would he lie about it?" Bismuth countered. "Steven's not exactly good at being dishonest."

"But there's… why wouldn't he?!" Lapis couldn't comprehend it. She knew at this point that Steven had some sort of mutual attraction to Peridot. She definitely caught them kissing on the veranda while Blue Diamond was sacrificing her life to save them all. There was no good time for Lapis to tease Peridot over it since then, but she kept it in mind. "Steven got the answers he wanted! Unlike me, he actually got to _see_ Peridot in her final moments!"

"Lapis… have you not watched yours yet?" Greg asked very gently; he had no intention of being the aggressor here.

"What does that have to do with anything?!" Lapis barked back. "We're talking about your son! A-and anyway, it's none of your business!"

Bismuth shook her head while patting Lapis on the shoulder. "Unfortunately, it is. We're thinkin' Steven won't get better until he sees his message. But he won't even wake up right now; it's not normal for him, Lapis. We need him to get better if we're all in this to bring Peri back. Amethyst's got a plan, but in order for it to work, everyone needs to see their Peri messages."

Lapis hunched over and crossed her arms around her propped up legs. "I bet it's a dumb plan."

"C'mon, don't judge a book by its cover," Greg urged. "You should know Amethyst is really close with Peridot. I think she out of everyone would know how to use Peridot as a means to make Steven get better. You want to help Steven, don't you?"

"What kind of question is that?! Of course I do!" Lapis looked offended to even be asked such a question. "I know he must really be hurting right now… he probably just wants everyone to leave him alone."

Bismuth was not convinced. "That doesn't sound like Steven at all. It sounds more like-" She paused herself; this wasn't the right way to go about this. "Lapis… I'm not judgin' here, because me and Greg only saw our messages around an hour ago. We both had our own hang-ups and waited that long to see our messages. It's okay that you're having reservations about watchin' it."

"If you wanna talk about that, we can," Greg offered. "No one else needs to know, of course. But believe me when I say I came out of my experience better for it."

"Why? Because she said you're a Crystal Gem?" Lapis murmured mockingly.

"Nope." Steven's father seemed unfazed by Lapis' attitude. "She said a lot of great things. Things I bet you didn't know about. It was a great learning experience and… I needed something uplifting after all the drama we've had."

"We'd be happy to tell you what she told us," Bismuth offered. "But I think you really should see your message first, so you can share too if you want."

"I guarantee her entire message to me is gonna be a roast," Lapis stated. "And I deserve it, after how I've treated her. I'm really not up for her little ghost to taunt me."

"Lapis… do you really think she's dead?" Greg asked solemnly.

Lapis faced Greg, as if she tried to study his features. "She could be… or she could just be alive and captured. It's hard to tell with White Diamond. Never in my life have I seen a bigger lunatic."

"That's what most of us are thinkin'," Bismuth acknowledged. "But she'll know Steven is coming back for her if she's alive. We'll worry about all that stuff later, though. But let me tell you somethin', Lapis. I've known Peridot for less than a week, so I thought my message would be pretty short and generic. Peridot found a way to make it a fulfilling message for me, full of stuff I wish we had time to talk about in person. It makes me wanna rescue her that much more, Lapis."

"I didn't expect much from mine, either," Greg admitted. "I mean, my introduction to her was being pushed off the barn's roof, but she thinks of me way more highly than I could've imagined, and… I'm learning more and more about her. Lapis, do you really think you know Peridot well enough to know exactly what's on that message?"

Lapis' defenses started to break, but she tried to remain stubborn. "J-just because she subverted your expectations doesn't mean that'll happen with me. Understand, I've had to live with her…"

"Wanna bet?" Bismuth looked smug. "C'mon, let's place a bet, if you're so sure about what's on it."

"I'll get in on that action!" Greg was eager to go all-in.

Lapis looked at the two, hardly able to believe they were being serious about this. "You… you're seriously going to take a gamble on the chance that Peridot's _not_ going to spend the entire time yelling at me?"

"I'm sure she'll yell at you some. I've overheard there were some surprise choices who she really let a rant out on, and others she acted almost opposite of how she acts with 'em in real life." Bismuth winked. "So yours is a real wildcard, Lapis. C'mon, are you scared to admit you might be wrong about Peri's message?"

" _Scared?_ Don't be stupid," Lapis bitterly refuted. "I-I mean, how long are these things, typically?"

"Well, she did these during that time in the isolation chamber on our way to Homeworld," Greg piped up. "She had an hour and a half to do messages for me, Bismuth, you, and I'm pretty sure she had to do Steven's in there, too."

Bismuth nodded before looking to Greg. "So she must've done yours before me, I'm guessing. She had about 76 minutes left when she started mine."

"Yep, 94 minutes here," Greg confirmed. "She got onto that quick; last thing she said to me before she went inside was that she'd see me in 95 minutes."

Lapis registered the numbers carefully. "So just under 20 minutes between the two of you. And you're sure I was next?"

Bismuth nodded. "She said as much at the tail end of my message. You're closer to her than either of us, Lapis. I have a feeling yours will be a little longer."

"And I don't need Garnet's future vision to know Steven's will be even longer," Lapis acknowledged. "So assuming your message lasted around the same amount as Greg's, that leaves her… under an hour for me and Steven."

"Heh, what a coincidence," Greg remarked. "She saved you two for last, and here we are now: you and Steven are the only ones who _haven't_ listened to her messages yet."

Lapis grumbled before standing up. " _Okay! Fine!_ I'll watch Peridot's stupid message… why exactly does Amethyst need us all to do this, again?"

"There's one thing that all of our messages have in common, Lapis: Peri's talking about Steven to some degree in each one. And when I say she talks about Steven, I mean she _talks_ about Steven." Bismuth smiled genuinely to her fellow gem. "If anything's gonna wake Steven up…"

Lapis hastily nodded. "Wh-why didn't you just tell me that in the first place?! I-I'll be right back; I promise I'll return after the message finishes!"

Just like that, Lapis flew up and over. Not towards the ocean this time - but further down the beach.

Bismuth and Greg shared a belated laugh when they realized how quickly Lapis got up and did as they asked after mentioning that one detail.

"Guess that's on us for not telling her sooner," Greg said with a fond sigh. "I think I'm gonna chill out here till she comes back. How about you?"

"You kiddin' me? I ain't movin' from this spot!" Bismuth laughed out. "Peri Patrol for life! Let's enjoy that a little longer while we still can."

"Awesome. Even when Peridot's not here, she's still bringing us together as a unit. Hope she'll be proud of us."

"She will, Greg. She will."

* * *

 **[ NEXT LOG: LAPIS ]**


	7. Lapis

**Notes:**

So... for once it's better to read the AO3 version of this because it has that block quote feature that makes the Peri message segments look so much better. No such feature here, and the messages are too broken up to justify the break line (it would also look terrible). This site also doesn't seem to believe in anything other than 1.0 spacing, of course. So, enjoy it for what it is. The segments are already stuff you've read, anyway.

And I was veeeery nervous writing this chapter; more so than Connie's. But, I had fun with it! Next chapter will be a similar build to this one: Steven message, then some stuff that will properly bridge into GA3, which I will start working on once the final chapter of this is complete. Cheers!

* * *

"Unbelievable. After giving me the run-around, they didn't think to just tell me what the plan was!"

Lapis flew around, scouting for a nice spot to finally see what Peridot had to say for her specifically. She had every reason to believe it was going to be nothing but several consecutive minutes of insults and lambasting; if certain others had told her that Peridot specifically claimed she was going to roast Lapis on their messages, she'd have all the more reason to believe that's what she was in for. 

But she knew it wouldn't be unwarranted. Lapis knew how badly she tore up Peridot by fleeing to the Moon and taking everything except Pumpkin with her. Once Lapis made her decision to just bite the bullet and embrace being a Crystal Gem, there wasn't any time to properly reconcile. Right away, once Lapis was filled in on the situation after she reformed, it was obvious to her there wouldn't be forward movement of any kind until Peridot reformed. And that was a big "if", because Lapis could not see her former roommate upholding the responsibility of being the boss very well.

She had the drive and the potential, certainly. But Lapis would always doubt Peridot's maturity and ego that could put a stop to everything. If she took up the position, Lapis wouldn't be able to resist keeping her in line. But with Greg and Bismuth clueless as to how to progress forward or even know where to go if they successfully left Earth, and Lapis not wanting to work with Bismuth _period_ , Lapis herself seriously wanted to default to what she always did when it just got too hard for her: run away. Ultimately deciding to at least give Peridot a chance was something Lapis both regretted and didn't regret doing. Peridot really surprised her in many ways. Even after she found out the main reason why Peridot was able to step up as well as she did, it didn't really hinder the team that much.

It did help that Steven was a goal instead of a distraction, of course.

And to her credit, Peridot ultimately saved everyone she intended to save. The technician was not so delusional to believe her plan would go off without a hitch and thought fast for alternative solutions accordingly. What impressed Lapis more than anything was how Peridot's priorities never wavered; somehow, that little gem learned very quickly that a leadership position meant so much more than just asserting authority over others. While Lapis was beyond pissed at how Peridot decided to handle resolving the grudge with Bismuth, she was ultimately glad that's how it happened. She knew this operation would have been a lot messier and would have ended much sooner had her issue with Bismuth not been resolved. Peridot had always been careful and logical about their next moves – the only exception being how she handled capturing Yellow Pearl, but Lapis couldn't bring herself to be too hard on Peridot for that. She of all people had no business telling Peridot how to manage dealing with the source of her anger and pain. And the assault that happened beforehand… it was horrifying, yet Peridot pressed on regardless like it was nothing.

Lapis pulled out her prism as she found a dock to sit by. Nice and isolated with a very peaceful vibe, this seemed like a good a place as any to finally get this over with. She hated to admit it, but Peridot, despite being the only one to fail in her mission, outdid herself in nearly every aspect. Lapis, meanwhile… she certainly didn't think she was useless; if she hadn't noticed Lion, who knows how long it would have taken to reunite with Steven and Connie? She also found the imprisoned Crystal Gems in a matter of seconds that would have taken Bismuth and Connie much longer to do. Her well-timed attack got rid of the White Pearl blockade, which ended up saving everyone's lives. But compared to her friend, who was usually inferior to her in every possible way besides the social factor? Lapis wasn't nearly as helpful as she could have been. She really hated that she was the only one who got poofed that mission, even if it was towards the end of their journey. It was nice that she got a better outfit for her trouble, but if she could exchange it for having Peridot back, she'd do so in a heartbeat.

But it wasn't doing Lapis any good to dwell on the past like this. Despite others expecting the worst from Peridot in their messages, Lapis had more justification than anyone else to believe it really would be that bad for her. Peridot was clearly happy to see her back, but after the reform, she was quick to lay in the guilt trips as soon as possible. And that never really went away… Lapis wasn't sure what to do from here, should the best-case scenario happen and they get Peridot back and eliminate White Diamond. Then again, Lapis remembered that until their current situation is resolved, there's no reason to think that far ahead. There was one thing Lapis knew she would be doing while the Crystal Gems prepared for a return trip to Homeworld: train. For a master of the seas, Lapis had a hard time managing limited water that was difficult to recycle. She didn't have much time to hone her skills and no one to train her (Peridot could come up with the idea, but she wouldn't have been able to properly train Lapis for this). This was something she could rectify now.

There wasn't much time left to waste. Lapis waved her hand over the prism in her palm and held it up to float in the proper angle for Lapis to watch whatever was contained inside.

Peridot sat in the same place and position as she had been in her Greg and Bismuth messages, though this time she looked visibly fatigued… just a little. Lapis raised a brow and studied the video carefully the moment Peridot spoke: she was quieter than usual, and her demeanor was far more casual.

"… _Log Date ETA: 52 minutes..._

 _So… we meet again, Lapis Lazuli. Kind of. You know the deal already, don't you? I'm dead and you're not. So I get to make a final message to you, and you don't._

 _And if you think I'm just alive and held captive by the Diamonds,_ _ **please**_ _don't come after me. Lapis, you of all people should know better than to walk into such a blatant trap. Your specialty is running away, remember? You certainly love to do it. If any little thing upsets you, you just bolt and go stars-knows-where._

… _Maybe we should address the_ _ **thing**_ _we never had time to properly talk about first. Let's just get it out of the way. Believe it or not, there are plenty of other topics worth talking about with you, Lapis. But I'm on a time crunch now. As I speak, you're either still trapped in a tube with Bismuth, or you've made up and all is well. So, if any of this feels rushed, you'll know why. I do have one last person to address after you, and I don't even have an hour to spare. I'm sure you can guess who I'm saving for last._

 _So, yeah… we never really had a proper talk about_ _ **that**_ _time since you came back. Don't think for a second that I'm not happy to have you back, or that I don't appreciate the help you put in both with the Diamond fight after the wedding and doing odds and ends that got us this far in our current mission. I'm being sincere when I say it feels so… right, so comforting, and relieving that you've come back and I know you're doing well. I… I really missed you._

 _That being said… I believe you know as well as I do that we can't go back to how it was before. I'm pretty sure that's physically impossible, anyway. You did drop our home on top of Blue Diamond, after all. Effective, but even I can't rebuild something like that_ _ **and**_ _transfer it to its original location. Still, it was a good and creative plan, so I… appreciated that. The damage you did to me personally, however… and knowing your go-to solution in the past has been running away… that's not something I can forgive so easily. I will in time, but… you did a lot of damage internally that you just can't undo._

 _You know what hurt me most before you left? Not that you were leaving me. Not that you didn't once consider my feelings on moving away and just assumed I felt the same way as you. Not that you were being selfish on an epic level. Lapis, what hurt me most is how easily you turned your back on Earth. You'd sooner flee to another planetoid and let your friends get obliterated than actually help our friends and our home. I thought you knew this, Lapis: Earth_ _ **is**_ _our home now. I know you've got… past issues with it and all, but guess what? So do I. Do you really think I came to Earth thinking it was anything more than a primitive, insignificant ball of dirt? I was_ _ **miserable**_ _while I was on the run before I was captured!_

 _You just… you're so_ _ **flippant**_ _, Lapis! One moment you're saving my life from a Roaming Eye, the next you're stealing my home away from me the second you hear about what happened with Steven and the Diamonds. You don't bother thinking about alternatives; you just immediately go in headfirst with your first instinct, and that instinct is always to_ _ **run away from your problems.**_

 _I mean… come on! I've made it no secret that I'm a huge coward. I've had my moments, but I was constantly paranoid about being tracked down after I told off Yellow Diamond! And I sort of wasn't wrong! I started out in my Earth mission only looking out for myself; screw everyone else. I grew out of that a long time ago, but it looks like that mindset is ingratiated into your gemetic makeup. Even after everything we've been through, what you went through, and getting to know everybody else… you'd still leave them to die just to save your own sorry butt. I don't know what made you come back, but Lapis… you've given me no reason to believe you won't just take off again after the mission is complete. You did trick me into a test just to determine whether or not you'd abandon our current mission!_

 _I get that you had a sucky life trapped in a mirror, and you want the freedom to move around whenever you want. That's completely understandable. But did you ever ask me how I felt? I'd be telling you the opposite: I had gone through a lot of strange and scary places when I first got stuck on Earth. I wanted to be safe! Stable! Secure! I got my fill of wanderlust and then some in the worst possible way. What I wanted more than anything was a place to call home; a long-term safe haven, and I could start living by routine again, like I'm used to. Did you ever think once, Lapis, that some people just want a place to call home, that they can always return to when something goes wrong?! Maybe some people like being boxed in, because at least in there, it's safe! There's loving people in it, a new life I can start for myself with their help, I just…!_

 _Lapis, I want to stay grounded this time. I'm a Crystal Gem, for stars' sake. I should be available if they need me. And I really want to be part of this team, Lapis… I know I probably won't make much of a difference, but I'm gonna fight for Earth if I have to. I'll fight for the people I love, who've shown me so much kindness. If you're gonna consider yourself a Crystal Gem, Lapis, you need to rethink your priorities. Because friends and teammates don't run off and abandon each other, no matter how scared out of their minds they are! That's why I've decided I'm moving back in with them, for good this time. I don't care if I don't get anything more than the bathroom; it's all worth it just to be with my family! My friends! My loved ones! Why can't you understand that, Lapis?!_

 _By the way, you're not inheriting Pumpkin. She's going to Steven, because I don't trust some wishy-washy world-hopping gem to take care of Pumpkin properly._

 _You're also not getting any of my stuff. Amethyst and Steven are splitting that._

… _I said so much of that rant in the present tense, as if I'm not dead by the point you hear me tearing you a new one. All of that was pointless. But… nnnrgh, maybe I just wanted you to know. I got carried away, thinking I had a future beyond this mission. Maybe I just want to dish out something, so that if you feel even a_ _ **fraction**_ _of the pain I went through because of you, I'd be one satisfied dead gem._

 _Like I said, I'm happy to have you back. I may not be around long enough to really appreciate it, but… maybe you can try something out for me in my absence:_ _ **try**_ _to work with the Crystal Gems. Give my friends a real chance. I'm not saying you can't fly wherever you want, but… maybe at least try living with them? You might not hate it as much as you think, Lapis. Maybe you could use some company in a time like now…_

 _If I'm being honest with myself, I'm hoping this mission endears you to the idea of really being part of a group effort; a team. At least make you think… that you don't always have to go it alone. You_ _ **can**_ _ask for help. Clearly, my company alone wasn't enough to make you consider any of this… and maybe that's my fault for either trying too hard or not trying hard enough. Either way, I'm sorry._

 _Hmph… don't I sound full of it. Me, helping you… as if I'm not a mess in my own right. That incident during takeoff was just a short while ago as I'm recording this, so… it's still fresh in my head. I suppose I should thank you for that properly, Lapis. You did help me define some of my internal struggles. I don't think I was entirely honest with you, though. I_ _ **am**_ _confused; I still am… but more than anything, I've been greedy. I want Steven as a friend, and in my family, and… I want him to be more than that, all at once. I'm just trying to lock away those stupid feelings so I can concentrate on the mission._

 _I can't keep Steven like this in my heart, though… can I? I don't want to lose him as a friend or family member if I choose to see him as more of a… soulmate, of sorts. I… I can live without him being the latter if his heart is already spoken for; I'm sort of anticipating that being the case, anyway. One useful thing I learned from you, Lapis, is to temper my expectations. If I keep them low, then I can't possibly be disappointed or let down. It's still such a depressing state of mind, though…_

 _And, you know… the "center of gravity" stuff sounded stupid at first, but the more I think about it, it's a pretty apt description. I just know it, once we do find Steven, I'll stop being such a mental case and maybe I'll actually come off as a halfway-competent leader. I've already got something of a plan for starting out… um, I guess I should apologize since it's gonna require me getting limb enhancers. I know those are basically symbolic of… the time I was at my worst for all of you. I'm not that thrilled about getting them, if it makes you feel better. It's been so long since I've been without them, it's only going to be weird for me to readjust. I don't plan on keeping them indefinitely, though. Just long enough to get through the next phase of my plan, where, if all goes as intended, I'll procure an all-access key to Homeworld, and then we won't have to worry about picking and choosing where to go. This'll even let us into their palaces, you know._

 _I just think it's important we do it soon since we're likely to park somewhere I frequented during my early days. And if we don't get our hands on something that will give us the freedom to go wherever we want, we're facing a very long search for our friends and then a way out of here. You might be wondering why I didn't tell you this sooner, right? Well… I don't know. Well, kind of. It's just there's something of a personal gain for me when we do this, and this is after denounced you and Bismuth for even considering acting out of revenge during a rescue mission. So, I do feel like a massive hypocrite right now. Maybe I just want you to trust me, even if you don't know what I have in mind._

 _The closer we get to Homeworld, I'm finally starting to feel some of that fear that should've been present in me ages ago… but it's not for the reason it should be. I haven't been able to shake the feeling of my inevitable demise since I took up this mission. I estimate my chances of making it out alive are roughly 25%. But I'm the only one I'm getting that feeling about; the rest of you… I feel like you'll be fine, especially after we free Garnet. But that's not what's getting to me, Lapis… obviously, you can tell I've made peace with that nasty part of my imagination. What's really scaring me is… the closer we get, the more I start to think about how I lived there previously. I only have little flickers of feelings instead of proper memories, but I can't help but feel like… like that's going to change the further I go in. I'll start to remember the details of my early life. The horrible, horrible things I've done. If you thought I was bad when you were my informant,_ _ **mmmfgh**_ _… I feel like the "me" before then was far, far worse. I'm just feeling that, you know, any memory I gain in Homeworld will be a terrible one. I don't need any more reaffirmations of how much of a monster I was back then! They're not necessary, and it's only going to throw me off when I'm trying to head this mission!_

… _and it might make Steven think twice about me…_

 _Anyway… Lapis, I'm sorry I couldn't fit in time to watch you train with a limited water supply. There was simply too much to do, considering how fast our ship was built. I would have been interested in seeing how you adapt, and what techniques you must resort to so that you can conserve as much water as you possibly can. I'm sorry it took me so long to ask you the right questions… what a cruddy leader I am. It was always fun seeing you mess with water, Lapis. You make it look so easy._

 _Then again, you've had thousands of years to master your element. My metal powers… they only awakened recently. And I can't do nearly as much with them… I'm not exactly sure why I have these powers at all, you know? I've gone through the records, Lapis… Era 1 or Era 2, no other Peridot has developed these powers. I'm beginning to think I'm way more defective than I thought. Is it a good thing or a bad thing? I honestly couldn't tell you. But thankfully for you, it's a moot point since I'm now deceased._

 _But, hey. At least be thankful you'll never have to worry about Jasper again, Lapis. I know… I understand that was a very rough… very dark time for you. But now, your concerns have been put to rest. And hey, now that I'm dead, I guess that means we both got what we deserved for making you our prisoner, haahaha! Ha… haha…_

 _ **Nyyrghhh**_ _… mmmhh… n-no, I can't cry again! I-I thought I had this under control! What's wrong with me?! I can't be like this for the next video! I–_

 _Uh. I'm sorry, Lapis. I didn't want to break down like this. It's just… I get sadder and sadder with each message I complete. Now that I'm so close to finishing this, I feel like I'm at my limit. M-maybe that's good… maybe I'll run out of tears by the time I record Steven's message. Then I'll have it all c-covered…_

 _Mmmh… haven't you ever wondered, Lapis? What it's like to be human? They're quite fascinating for organics with a finite lifespan. I know you like Steven well enough… certainly more than me. Although he is a hybrid. But that's what makes him special, right? There's no other being like him. … saying that is an insult, actually. It implies his biological status is more noteworthy than the kind of person he is, and that couldn't be any further from the truth._

 _But really, Lapis… I always wanted to try more human stuff out. Did you know hot cocoa is_ _ **delicious?**_ _The fact that Connie attends an educational institute called a "school" is such a tease, because I would love to be in there, learning more about Earth. I've… I've really grown to love this planet, Lapis. All the more reason we need to keep our mission as straightforward as possible. So we can save our loved ones, return to Earth, and never look back on Homeworld again. The more I learn about Earth, the more disgusted I am at myself, emerging from a Homeworld Kindergarten. Makes me wonder if that's why Amethyst is so much fun to be with. She was made here on Earth, after all._

 _I just find myself more and more wanting to learn about human ways and adapt to them. I'm still making sure my inherent skills are not neglected, but I have to try everything. So many options… you're not exactly enthused about trying new things out. Don't think I haven't noticed… you just forced yourself into farming with me, didn't you? You obviously couldn't have cared less for our crops when you left! I bet you didn't really give a crap about Camp Pining Hearts, either! Sometimes, I think you're just tolerating me because Steven wants you to. And you only join me in these projects to spare my feelings. Because you hate it when I cry. It's so annoying, right? Just makes you wanna take off and fly to Earth's northern magnetic pole!_

 _I'm sorry… great, here I go again with this… I'm just spouting off so much accusatory nonsense because I don't know how to communicate with you properly. You're not that easy to read, Lapis! I just don't understand… why you want to make this so much more difficult for yourself than it needs to be. You deserve more than you think you do, Lapis. J-just take your past; soak it down and let it go. Then carry on, because you're stronger than they'll ever know. That's the deal with living here on Earth; you get no respect handed to you just because you're a Lapis Lazuli who is a master of the sea. I never said Earth isn't dangerous or unpleasant in some spots… there might be some who aren't okay with you flinging around building-sized masses of water that cause massive collateral damage. You're gonna get charged, acting like that… remember how easily your powers can harm these humans. J-just… watch your neck out there, okay?_

 _This is why I worry about you and the others outside of Amethyst on your lack of interest in immersing yourself fully into this planet. I feel so calm; so peaceful… it gives me a kind of warmth I can't even properly explain to you. Maybe that's why I was so offended when you left Earth the way you did… I just adore this planet so much. Is… is it even fair to say that? Our Earth experiences have been similar. We were both originally there for a quick in-and-out, got stranded, and were desperately trying to find a way home. And we both encountered a lot of hard times… of course, your case is far more severe. But it's not the planet's fault we were stuck here in the first place. How can a place this wonderful be responsible for our problems?_

 _I suppose, like humans, gems can have certain preferences to how they choose to live their lives. Once they're awakened, that is. I only saw others in two ways before I came here, Lapis… superior, and competition. I had no interests; you already know such a thing was not conducive to Homeworld's productivity. I had no choice in how to live my life… only to determine how much I wanted to succeed, so I'd be praised for it… rather than shattered. But look at how I am now. Was it that rigid with your kind on Homeworld? There's really a lot I don't know about you, despite how long we've shared a space together. I'll admit I've been… a little too afraid to ask. It's just so easy to trigger you, Lapis… and that's the last thing I want. It's just like how I was too afraid to tell you I didn't want to leave Earth; I knew it would only upset you. And I was right, wasn't I?_

 _But perhaps I'm being too judgmental. You like isolation. You like it quiet. You like being able to fly around the world whenever you please, just by yourself. Maybe we weren't meant to work out as roommates after all. Because it's not a bad thing to have those preferences. It just makes you different… really, really different from me. I'll always hold this "screw the Earth, I'm saving myself" thing you pulled against you, though. I never felt so betrayed. You would leave our home to perish. You would let all of our friends and family, and the billions of people we don't even know in this world all perish. You'd let my center of gravity die so easily… I… I really want to hate you for that. I can't, because… because he won't forgive me for holding on to a grudge, but… Lapis, I'm_ _ **so mad**_ _at you. I'm s-sorry that I keep circling back to this but it's just…. j-just…_ _ **how could you?!**_

 _I'm sorry. I pray to the stars these are my last tears. Th-that'll be nice, right…? You'll be the last one to see me cry. I-I think the only other one I've cried on so far is Amethyst's… s-so I guess that proves you m-meant a lot to me. That you could make me break down like this. If I run out of tears, th-then I can't do this with Steven. I can't do this on Steven's video; I can't give him an excuse to cry over me._

 _Lapis, I … I know it's stupid that I've been saying a lot of this as if I'm gonna know how you'll respond before I die, a-and I'm about to do it again, but…!_

 _I-I don't want you to ever turn your back on Steven and his home again. I want you to promise me that. If you don't want to be part of it, then be there in my place! Because there's no place I would rather be! –Ggghh, why is this so hard to talk to you about, stars almighty, I talk to you more than most other gems! This should be easy! You already knew, didn't you? How much I love Steven… I-is that why you pushed me away all the time? Because I wasn't always at his side while living with you? … n-no, shut up, Peridot, you're being hysterical._ _ **Use your logic.**_ _Drrhh…_

 _L-Lapis, how am I gonna do this?! You can already tell my voice is almost gone! How do I even talk to Steven posthumously?! I-I'm gonna screw this up so bad… why did I do all of this? Why did I_ _ **make**_ _this? Why didn't I consider the psychological ramifications of you all watching these messages?! Now I'm in too deep! I HAVE to finish this. Steven will wonder why I didn't make one for him and– ow, ow. This is… this is hurting me. Talking is hurting me. … I… I need to stop. Rest my voice._

 _I-I'm sorry, Lapis… s-sorry to end it th-this way… h-had I f-foreseen this, I… I w-would've done yours a-and Steven's first. J-just… take care, o-okay? I-I'm sure you'll h-hardly know I'm gone! … I-I love you, Lapis…_

 _Wi… w-with my de…epest gratitude, a-and fon… fondest of f-farewells, this is m-my f-final sign off…_

 _P... Pe– Peridot F-Facet-2F… 5… L… Cut-5… X… G…"_

The video ended there. Lapis, who had already been crying for a while now, grabbed her prism and held it closely to her as she sobbed.

"Y-you stupid little brat… you blew out your voice for me. For _me!_ I–" Lapis shuddered as she tried to contain her tears. She would need to take a dip in the ocean so it wouldn't be _as_ blindingly obvious how much she cried.

"We're going back to Homeworld whether you like it or not!" Lapis yelled at the prism. She knew it wasn't Peridot, but it was the closest thing to her she had now. "And we are getting you out of there, and we're bringing you home! You think I'll run away this time?! Think again! Stop being such an obstinate little–" Lapis realized it was just a crystal she spoke to and quieted herself.

"O-okay… I promised the others. The second that ends, I go back. I'm making good on my promises from now on."

* * *

Greg and Bismuth figured there might be a 20-25-minute wait for Lapis' message, and they weren't far off. Soon enough, she was seen flying in the distance before she circled around and landed right beside her teammates by the fire.

"Mission accomplished."

"We're proud of you, Lapi," Bismuth said warmly. "Was it what you expected?"

"... the little idiot blew her voice out," Lapis muttered. "That's why she could barely talk after she came out of that chamber. She overdid it…"

"Yeah, towards the end of mine is where I started to hear her voice crack," Greg said with a sigh. "She was pretty reserved in mine compared to what I heard from the others. Apparently, she went full-throttle on Amethyst."

"It's good we had drinking water on hand," Bismuth noted. "Too bad she didn't think to take one with her in there. How bad did she blow out her voice on yours, Lapis?"

Lapis held out her prism, waved her hand over it, and raised it up. Before the video could play again, Lapis managed to pause it and skip to her last line, so Greg and Bismuth could hear for themselves how bad she sounded at this point. " _That_ bad."

"Stars almighty," Bismuth murmured. "She didn't sound quite that bad when she came out..."

"That is really fishy," Greg agreed. "But maybe we'd better report to Amethyst now. She's been waiting for us _forever_."

Lapis snatched her prism and held it tightly in her hand. "The Peri Patrol goes at its own pace."

Bismuth nodded and grinned. " _Yeeeeah_ , Lapis showin' some team spirit!"

"I thought team spirit was this," Lapis honestly said as she raised up her hand.

"Heh, well it's one of many forms," Greg agreed as he also held out his hand. "Why not? We pulled off a team effort tonight."

Bismuth smiled and held hers up as well. "We sure did. Too bad we don't have a team slogan, or a call or anything like that."

"Well, if you're wanting us to think of what to say once we do this, I'm sorry… but I can only think of our captain's word," said a smirking Lapis.

"I know what word you're talkin' about…" Bismuth smirked in return. "Greg?"

"What other word could it be, then?" Greg was in on it as well. "On 3, then! 1… 2…"

" _ **CLOD!"**_

Amethyst stepped out of the front door to see the trio of misfit Crystal Gems just perform a 3-way high five. Part of her was amused by this, but she was at the end of her rope with her patience.

"So, the Peri Party's got their own little team warm-up routine," she noted.

"That's Peri _Patrol_ to you, honey," Bismuth corrected.

"Ahh. Well, I was close," Amethyst acknowledged. "Cool. Cool." Her face then hardened. "You all better be ready to hand over your crystals."

Bismuth, Lapis, and Greg all handed theirs to Amethyst, who sighed with relief as she took them. " _Fiiiiinally_ , I can put this all together. Man, Steven's gonna have to get up after this. No one can take this much guilt-tripping! Did she go off on any of you guys, too? Just wonderin'."

"Uh, kind of, with me," Lapis answered. "But I'm worried about how she did Steven's message now. It was the last one she did, and at the end of mine, her voice is almost completely gone."

"Whoa." Amethyst didn't expect to hear this. "Major plot twist. Guess we'll find out soon enough when Ste-man finally watches it. Alrighty, Peri Patrol. Stop acting like a bunch of weird outsiders and come join us. I'll be back after I get all of this put together."

"Thank you kindly, Amethyst," Bismuth said. And with that, the trio entered the beach house. This drew the attention of a now-awake Connie and Pearl.. but seemingly not Garnet, who vigilantly watched Steven as he continued to sleep, though by now he was showing signs of discomfort.

"I'm so glad you all could finally join us," Connie said excitedly. "Was there a reason for the hold-up, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Nothin' major," Greg assured her. "It just took a little Peri Patrol solidarity to get the three of us to watch our messages."

"Peri Patrol? Goodness, now we've got sub-team names as well," Pearl muttered. "Honestly, Greg, we have the situation under control. I understand your concern for Steven, but this is something beyond your reach. So you don't need to stay in here; you can head back to your van."

"Say what?" Bismuth said with disbelief before Greg could even respond. "Pearl, he's got a right to be here as much as the rest of us do. He's a Crystal Gem!"

Pearl was not buying it. "I'm sorry, Bismuth, I think you were misinformed," she rebutted. "He has never been part of–"

"Well, he is now," Lapis insisted, cutting Pearl off. "Fully endorsed by Peridot herself, so he is part of the Peri Patrol and by extension, a Crystal Gem."

"Even if you do have proof of this, I dispute the claim," Pearl retorted. "I respect the fact that Peridot led us on the last mission, but that can't be enough to make him… well, one of us! He's never been, and he's known us for decades! Garnet, you can't possibly approve of this, can you?"

Garnet briefly looked over to Pearl before redirecting her focus to Steven again. "Hm… there would be no Peri Patrol without him," she noted. "He did have a valuable, if unglamorous role in our last mission, but Greg is also the heart of this team. I can feel it," she said with a smile. "Peridot was still leader when she decreed this, so I'm in no position to disrespect her decision."

"I vote he stays," Connie insisted. "He's earned his place. Like Garnet said, his job was important, and for bringing a team together in our time of need, he deserves high honors. He and Bismuth were the only ones who got Steven's message for help, too."

"I can foresee what Amethyst would say without a vision," Garnet noted. She then turned to address the man. "Greg Universe, by the powers vested in me and my predecessor Peridot, we welcome you as an official member of the Crystal Gems. It is nice to finally have you on board with us, Greg. It's been too long."

This was followed by the sound of applause by every conscious person in the room… save for Pearl, who at best only offered a golf clap.

"W-wow, didn't think I'd be the center of attention this quick," Greg said, a bit uncertain how to feel about this. "I wish I brought my guitar with me. Um, does that mean I can see my son now…?"

Garnet nodded and made room for Greg. "By all means, climb up." He did so, and finally got a good look at his bedridden son.

"Oh… little Schtu-ball…" Greg sighed. "This looks like more than just depression thing, Garnet. He's either in pain or having a really bad nightmare."

"The discomfort only recently came about," Garnet noted. "I hoped in vain that Peridot might have left a clue about Steven's condition in your message, but… she wouldn't have seen this coming."

"Yeah, sorry." Greg sadly nodded. "Mine had an interesting point about how no two identical gems can exist at the same time, but most of it was her sounding more and more like a future in-law."

"Hm… that _is_ an interesting point," Garnet noted. "I'd like you to share it with us when we all settle down to share our experiences."

Greg nodded readily. "Will do."

"How long is it gonna take Amethyst?" Bismuth asked. "I know we're down a tech gem…"

"It's a really simple process," Connie assured. "She's just skimming through the video to find the parts she wants played, marks the time stamp, and sets it to play only on what she selects. She's already got it set for our devices, so it's just the last few from the Peri Patrol that she's getting through."

Lapis sighed and gazed up the ceiling. "I'm still not sure how she managed to give anything to Steven. Her voice was reduced to nearly nothing by the end of mine. It was hurting her to even talk…"

"Oh my," Pearl didn't like the sound of that. "That is a cause for concern. Why didn't she take a break or drink some water…?"

"Our messages were recorded on the ship while we traveled to Homeworld," Bismuth explained. "She was in an isolation chamber for about an hour and a half, makin' messages to me, Greg, Lapis, and Steven all at once. And she didn't bring anything to drink, either. We made sure to hook her up with a water bottle after she came out. But we didn't even know what she was doin' in there at the time…"

"It's pretty depressing when I think back on that now," Lapis tiredly muttered and looked to Bismuth. "While we were working things out as her prisoners with Greg mediating us, she was in there the entire time, saying goodbye to us."

Bismuth solemnly closed her eyes. "While we were singin' and havin' fun, she was doing that. Bless that child… we're getting her back."

Everyone around Bismuth nodded in agreement. In a timely fashion, Amethyst returned with the crystals and returned them to their respective owners. "Okay, everybody's set. We just gotta determine in what order we're gonna do our thing. Crystal owners, just do what you did before. Some of us are gonna have two different selected segments because I couldn't just decide on what to keep. Just repeat your step after the first one goes off. Now, Pearl's gotta go first because she has the Peri-alarm. I'm thinkin'… Lapis, you oughta go last. You weren't kidding about P-Dot blowin' her voice out… that was hard to listen to. But that makes it the best guilt trip!"

Lapis smiled a bit to herself. "When we get Peridot back, I can let her know she lost her voice for a good cause."

"So what order does that put the rest of us?" Connie asked. "You're the only one who knows the content of all these messages, Amethyst."

"Heh! Ain't that the truth," she admitted with a snort. "Ah man, it's been a long day of me workin' on these. Hearing Peri talk that much when she's not actually here is gonna start giving me some kinda complex. Okay, uh…" She looked up and across the room, determining her choices based on what the messages contained.

"We're gonna work our way up," Amethyst decided. "Garnet, yours was actually pretty tame, so you'll go after Pearl. After Garnet, we'll use… Bismuth's. Following Bismuth, we'll go with Connie. I'll follow after you, Connie, and Greg? You're following after me."

"Understood," Garnet confirmed. "The order is Pearl, myself, Bismuth, Connie, Amethyst, Greg, and Lapis."

"That's the order of least-sappy to most sappy?" Lapis was amused. "How interesting…"

"Technically, Pearl's is a _bit_ sappier; s'got more of a tsundere vibe to it, but Garnet's doesn't have the Peri-alarm."

"I feel like I'm going to regret hearing this alarm," Greg said worriedly. "Also, we can't all fit up here at once. I'll have to bring Steven down to rest on the couch."

Garnet nodded and stood up before making her way down. "Good; we should all be standing by him when he awakes. We may be relieving Steven of his agony by waking him up."

"C'mon, Schtu-ball, just like when you were a baby," Greg murmured as he gathered the sleeping Steven into his arms and carefully made his way down to the floor level of the house. "Garnet? I think his temperature's going up a little higher than it should be."

"He'll be fine," Garnet assured him. "Just set him onto the couch. Everyone, circle around him in your assigned order. Pearl, you're already on the couch, so we'll start there." She positioned herself next to Pearl, and the others fell in line as Greg came over to gently lay Steven on the couch, where he was definitely looking a bit flustered in his sleep. Greg patted him on the head before walking back to take his spot between Amethyst and Lapis.

"O-okay…" Pearl looked very nervous about this, especially since Steven was visibly struggling in his sleep, she she took a deep breath and looked to the others. "On my mark?"

Garnet nodded. "Get set."

" _Go_ ," Amethyst finished, very eager to see how her plan would play out.

Pearl took out her phone and hit the play button.

 _"_ _If he starts acting up or sulking, don't hesitate to dish out some tough love on him. Here, I'll throw you a freebie to use on him directly:_ ** _HEY, STEVEN! SNAP THE CRAP OUT OF IT, YOU SADSAP! THIS IS YOUR GREAT AND LOVABLE PERIDOT FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE TELLING YOU TO STOP SULKING, STOP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF, AND STOP ACTING LIKE A CLOD TO YOUR FRIENDS! I WOULD'VE GONE AFTER YOU WHETHER OR NOT YOU HAD ASKED ME TO, SO GET OVER IT AND MOVE ON! DO IT NOW OR I'M GONNA HAUNT YOU IN YOUR DREAMS FOREVER! AND THE ONLY SOUND YOU'RE EVER GONNA HEAR AGAIN FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE IS: STEVEN CLOD! STEVEN CLOD! STEVEN CLOD! STEVEN CLOD! STEVEN CLOD! STEVEN CLOD! STEVEN CLOD! STEVEN CLOD! STEVEN CLOD! STEVEN CLOD! STEVEN CLOD! STEVEN CLOD! STEVEN CLO-_** ** _"_**

 **"** ** _STOP!_** **MAKE IT STOOOOOOOOP!** **"**

Steven's eyes opened, but everyone was frozen with fear as his entire being glowed a bright pink hue before emitting energy waves of the same color all over the house. It didn't physically harm anyone it passed through, though it did internally shake them up. The beach house rumbled, but it died down moments later. A split-second visage of Pink Diamond flashed right where Steven was before the boy fully woke up; gradually the pinkness in his hair and skin faded back into his natural dark brown.

"Th-that's Peridot! Where is–?!" Steven soon realized he was on the couch and not his bed. He also realized he was hungry, but that was a minor detail right now. And, of course, he took notice to everyone standing around him in a half-circle. "Wha… why are all of you–?"

Now that he was confirmed back to normal, the pink energy went straight into the back of everyone's minds. It's not like they didn't know where it came from, now. The important thing was that Steven was conscious after nearly 20 hours of sleep.

"Steven," Garnet said gently. "We're glad you're awake; you've been asleep nearly the entire day. We'll be happy to make you something to eat, but I need you to promise me something first: will you watch Peridot's message to you?"

Reality sunk in for Steven; his pupils dilated and he tried his best not to cry. The best way to stave that off was with anger and fear. "No, nonononono! No, I'm not getting anywhere near that thing! Just delete it! I can't have something like that on my phone! Put me back to bed!"

"Steven, you're still gonna act like this?" Amethyst was not surprised, but still offended. "Peridot would be heartbroken if she saw this right now."

"Don't you start with that again–" Steven was being stubborn.

Connie stepped slightly forward. "Steven, listen to me. We've all listened to our messages. They're in video format, but there's something you need to know about them…"

Steven's head hung low. "Do I really?"

"Steven, Peridot's talked about you in each of our messages," Pearl informed him. Being the nearest to Steven, she combed his curly hair through her fingers. "And not just in a casual way. You mean so much to her, she couldn't keep it contained to just your message."

"Hope you weren't planning on keeping it a secret, because she busted it big time in our messages," Lapis said smugly. "Not that you two were that good at keeping it a secret anyway. I saw what happened on the veranda."

 _That_ shook Steven. "Wh-WHA?!" He had been so emotionally distraught at the time, he didn't even recognize anyone else other than Peridot at the time.

"Oh, you should've seen the kiss they had in the terminal when we were all locked up in that big final battle," Amethyst eagerly added with a chuckle. "Looked like it came straight outta a movie!"

"O-oh geez, you too?!" Steven covered his face in embarrassment. That whole mission was such a rush, he didn't have time to think about the risks he took being that openly affectionate to Peridot. "Oh no.. oh no… why would you think saying that makes me want to see my message?!"

"We've got something that _will_ make you want to see it," Garnet informed him as she played her bit next.

 _"_ _I don't know how he's going to fare being without me; probably for the better, I guess… just… just take care of him. You know he's the one that's keeping me going, with this whole stupid rescue mission. He's the only reason I'm not the worst leader in the world. You have no idea what he means to me, okay? Even I hardly know what he means to me… it's just… a_ ** _lot_** _, okay?! He's just as important as this primitive dirtball we live on, get it?"_

Steven shrunk down a bit. He was visibly shaken by hearing Peridot's voice, talking about **him** , no less. This was nothing he didn't already know from spending time with her at the Homeworld Kindergarten, though.

"Steven, I've been with her that entire mission," said Bismuth, taking her turn. "I've known that gem for just a few days, and we were close enough that she'd share this with me."

 _"_ _You've probably noticed I've been a little… all over the place. But I always have been able to recover quickly enough… and it's because of Steven. He's my goal in all of this – I love the others and naturally I wish to save them even if it kills me to do it, but Steven's my… well, Lapis said he was my center of gravity. My whole world got flipped on its head and has nearly come apart so many times ever since I first got the news about what happened after I reformed. I called these stupid pictures my "gravity stabilizers" because they give me that feeling I need to keep it together. Two variants - this one with me and Steven, it's supposed to cheer me up. If I get too depressed for whatever reason, I won't be able to function as the head of this operation. The one with just Steven… that's the one that keeps my thoughts gathered. It's what I look to for strength. All I have to do is concentrate on it, and suddenly I feel… at peace. Things make sense again, and I remember what I'm doing this for."_

This one, Steven paid attention to. Bismuth grinned at the end. "But wait, there's more!"

 _"_ _It's not really a simple matter when I said I loved him. I love him in all kinds of ways because of how integral he was to my transition from Yellow Diamond's mindless lackey to a free-spirited individual who gladly fights for Earth. I owe everything I am now to Steven. Absolutely everything. I don't even want to think of living my life without him in it. I won't accept it, Bismuth. So losing him is_ not ** _an option_** _._

 _I can't assure you – any of you – that I won't do something absolutely reprehensible if we were to lose Steven. There's a good chance I'll have an identity crisis and… and I might become your enemy. Not that I'd side with the Diamonds again; I mean more like… more like corruption. I don't know if it's possible, but I just know you won't be able to distinguish me from a corrupted gem once I –_ ** _we_** _lose him!_

 _So promise me, Bismuth… if that's what becomes of me should we lose Steven for any reason… I'm giving you the order to shatter me. You won't be able to rehabilitate me, because I won't be myself anymore. There will be nothing for my damaged self to return to, because all the best parts about me… they'll die with Steven. I won't be the great and lovable Peridot anymore, so as leader of the Crystal Gems as of this recording… you are all under obligation to shatter me under these conditions."_

This part shook everyone up, including Steven. Bismuth's grin already had faded into a look of pure sadness. "Yeah, I thought it might be… important that y'all heard this bit, too."

"That's why I included it," sighed a somber Amethyst. "That was… that was heavy stuff."

"I can't– I can't!" Steven looked to be in a pure mental turmoil. "I can't let Peridot die like that!"

No one was surprised that this wasn't enough to move him. Now, it was Connie's turn.

"Steven, we're gonna do everything in our power to bring Peridot back home, just like how she did everything she could to make sure we got home… and she succeeded," Connie told him. "We're not about to turn our back on her now, and we're going to make sure neither of you die. Because… because you need to hear these too, Steven…"

 _"_ _Connie, I… I have… a very complicated viewpoint on Steven. You know he was largely responsible for taking me in when he didn't need to. He was the biggest part in how I ultimately defected from Homeworld… a-and we even saved this planet, just the two of us, from the Cluster that would have killed you all otherwise! I-I'm trying to tell you I see Steven in so many different ways, because he's been helping me rebuild my life every step of the way! H-he teaches me things… we have fun together… and he's as good a listener as he is a talker. I haven't been feeling like myself since I learned he was on Homeworld after I reformed. Thinking of Steven is the only way I can bring myself back together to focus on leading the team. It sounds stupid, right? But that's how it works. Nothing makes sense to me anymore when he isn't here, Connie! I-I really need him back… I need all of you back, but without him, I'd…_

 _I don't know. I can't phrase it in a way that makes any sense. B-but understand, it's more than what you think it is! Steven's my first friend. He's been there for me when I needed a friend around for whatever reason. He's part of my family… the only family I really ever had. Without him, I'd be on my own, on the run in stars-knows-where on this clod-forsaken rock. I wouldn't know what to do, where to go, who to trust, what to touch, what to approach, what to avoid… I-I pride myself on being a genius, but I'm still a total idiot when it comes to Earth, Connie! I… I need the help. I still do, after everything I've learned._

 _I seriously can't imagine life without Steven. I don't want a life without Steven, ever. I don't want a life where he isn't part of it in some way. M-maybe I've grown too codependent… but I can't use that possibility to mask the truth. S-so you could say I even love him…. but I'm too afraid to do anything that might jeopardize the relationship I have with him_ _ **and**_ _you."_

"Oh, geez…" Steven dreaded Connie ever finding out about this, but he couldn't understand why she seemed so okay with it all. "C-Connie, I'm so sorry…"

"There's nothing to be sorry for," Connie said with a smile. "We weren't official. Besides, listen to this," she urged.

 _"_ _Above all else, I want Steven to be happy. I'll gladly give up everything that I am to make that happen, because… I wouldn't be me without him. I'd just be a machine."_

"And this one, too…"

 _"_ _Mmm… what was I even thinking, you know? He's only all that I am, th-that's all… he's someone I'd do anything for… at any time. Anywhere… any reason."_

"Steven… I can't say anything like this to you in relation to me," Connie admitted. "And I can't hurt Peridot like this; she wants to get to know me more, and I feel the same for her. You basically _made_ her, Steven. I'm afraid parts of me were pre-made when we met," she said with a nervous chuckle. "There's one more thing from mine you should hear about…"

 _"_ _What's it like, anyway? To fuse? See… I_ _ **can't**_ _fuse with anyone. To my knowledge, anyway. But Era 2s like me are gemetically inferior to Era 1s in every possible way… and everyone else is an Era 1. I can't shapeshift, I'm not at all strong and I'm not that fast. I'm durable, sure, but Peridots are supposed to be. Until I discovered the metal powers, and even that's very weak and limited, I really had nothing going for me. But I thought… if Steven can fuse with a full-blooded human, shouldn't it stand to reason he could fuse with an Era 2 gem, too? I-I wasn't going to ask Steven personally… I can't bring myself to. It's too embarrassing. Even more so if it's still impossible with my kind. But as a gem who's never going to know how that feels… oh, I wish I could just ask and get an immediate answer."_

"She was too afraid to ask me…" Steven looked hurt by that. He knew by now she would have asked... if only she was here now. "I thought she just didn't want to…"

"She asked me to ask for you, in fact," Garnet spoke up. "Peridot has been very… very curious about the fusion topic lately. But… perhaps a new fusion will be what we need for our next mission… when we find her."

"A'iiiight, it's my turn!" Amethyst announced. "Ste-man, just so you know, I came up with the plan to do this. You can thank me later. Peri was straight-up savage to me, and paaaart of the reason for that miiiiight be due to how she broke down when it came to you."

 _"_ _Stars, I'm such a clod. I got through 3 videos without even coming close to shedding a tear, but here of all videos is where I'm gonna get misty-eyed?! If I'm getting like this with you, Amethyst, how in the world am I gonna get through Steven's message with a straight face?! I can't_ _ **cry**_ _in his! It'll just make him cry! And it makes me want to cry knowing that my future crying is gonna make him cry even later on! I just–_

 _You know, I should at least explain this to you… this thing I have so much trouble expressing to the others, because I have to make sure everyone knows he's important enough, and wonderful enough to be everyone's concern, and everyone needs to be there for him in my place so he doesn't have to suffer losing me as much– nynnngh! A-and I can't keep a secret from a Shorty Squad member, right?!_

 _Everything that's been driving me right now… to head this mission, to do all these things I normally never do… that's because Steven's in trouble and I can't stop thinking about him. But that's a good thing, because thinking about him is what's keeping me grounded, like a competent leader should be! I-it's not to say I'm not worried for the rest of you. Oh, trust me… I'm gonna be freaking miserable until I see you all safe and sound. But when I'm about to break down, I… thinking about him puts me at peace. I remember why I'm doing this, and… h-he's so special to me, I don't even know how to describe it, Amethyst! I know what it sounds like, but it's so much more than that! I-I'll admit it to you, at least… I'm afraid, okay?! I'm_ ** _terrified_** _of defining my relationship with Steven._

 _It's not just one thing, you know? Calling him merely a "friend" is an insult! An unacceptable understatement of his contributions to my life! I can't just call him "family". I mean, he IS that. He IS a friend. And… geez, sure, why not… he's meant so much to me, I can't comprehend life without him! So I love him._ **_Grrrhhkkkk._** _Why did I say that? Even THAT'S an understatement! Do you see the kind of mess that little clod turns me into, Amethyst?! I-I want him as all these things, but… but I have to pick one, don't I? What happens to the others when I do? I don't… I don't want them to go away. How does one live without those other facets?! These are things I_ _ **r**_ ** _eally_** _need to know and I'll never know because I'm_ ** _dead!_** _"_

Lapis was impressed. "Whoa. She was freaking out. She can barely speak without letting out a weird sound. That's…"

"I know, right?" Amethyst was proud of herself. "It's this that got her to talk to _me_ like I'm garbage. She was mighty pissed to confess this even to me! Oh, here's something everyone should be aware of."

 _"_ _By the way, I've decided. I've chosen you and Steven to inherit my belongings. I trust you'll be able to come to an agreement with him, but I couldn't just choose one or the other."_

"Yeah, she was "nice" enough to let me know about this on mine," Lapis snapped. "Pumpkin's included in that living will, by the way."

"That's only if she's truly dead," Garnet reminded them both. Steven was silently in tears by this point. "Which none of us think is the case for the time being."

"Right, right; just wanted to get that out there so I can say she literally put me and Steven in her last will and testament," Amethyst said, rolling her eyes. "Okay, Greg. Give him the news man-to-man."

"Eeesh, you gotta put it like that- oh, hey there, Schtu-ball! I'm so glad you're awake. There's… something we're gonna need to talk about later, but Peridot was a total sweetheart in my message." He held up his prism. "I'm not even exaggerating when I tell you it's almost like she's asking me for permission to marry you."

Before Steven could even protest, the message began.

 _"_ _I have so far promised everyone I've made a message to that I would die with a clear conscience, which requires me to confess everything I've never wanted to confess for various reasons. There's really only one thing I've kept to myself that's even relevant to you… and that's how I feel about Steven._

 _You think you know where this is going, but… it's much more complex than that, I think. You're aware that Steven is responsible for almost 98% of what I've learned here on Earth, right? Let's just round that up to 100%, because that's how it feels for me. Greg, I wasn't anything like this before I got stranded on Earth. The me you like seeing when I care for Pumpkin? Didn't exist in any way, shape, or form when I lived on Homeworld. I just did my job, worked hard for attention and praise… and, well. You remember the story I just told you not too long before I came in here. I was numb to a lot of things that would give me the gem equivalent of a coronary today. If I could dig deeper into the "feelings" I have in place of where memories should be, I don't think anyone's going to like that I find… least of all, myself. It's a terrifying prospect._

 _Steven made me who I am today, Greg. He rebuilt my life step-by-step. He can be an annoying little twit at times, but it's impossible for me to come even close to hating him. It's just as impossible for me not to love him._

 _A-and when I say "love", Greg… I mean that in so many ways. Steven and his friends… and you, by this point, became the family I never had. There's still a lot of family-related subjects I don't understand, as I told you before, but it's a comfort to truly be part of one regardless. I'm not sure what role you all see me in… I'll admit that does make me curious. But also nervous, because… Steven's also a good friend to me. He's my best friend, right up there with Amethyst. He's a friend who always knows how to help me when I'm having trouble with something. He likes to talk to me. He likes to listen to me talk… we've had so many conversations. We play all varieties of Earth games together. We explore together. We learn together. We work together. We support each other in hard times. We've even saved the Earth together… just the two of us. At one point we thought we were both gonna die down there, and… we just hugged each other, thinking these were our final moments. I asked him if he had any last words… he said, "I love you, Peridot". I know what kind of love he was referring to, as I felt it…_

 _But since then, part of my subconscious has been stuck on that moment. I felt like the final seal on the true potential of my identity was broken that day… because I felt another kind of love for the first time. I imagined my life without Steven, and I_ ** _hated_** _it. I couldn't accept it. I need him in my life, because he_ **_is_** _my life. Without Steven, there_ **_is no_** _"_ _Great and Lovable" Peridot. I never want to lose him, okay? Even if he doesn't… you know, reciprocate my amorous sentiments, I'll settle for him as a friend. As a member of my family. As long as he's in my life, I'll be satiated. But if he goes, I eventually will, too. I'll corrupt. I'll be unrecognizable; you'd all have to put me down, because even If you cured me, I still won't_ **_be_** _anything._

 _He truly is my center of gravity. Steven keeps me together. Since he's imperiled on another planet right now, that's… mostly the reason why I'm having a hard time keeping it together, hence my need for the gravity stabilizers. And I have no idea if you're even okay with the concept of me loving your offspring that way. I can't control your feelings on the matter… I'm just optimistic enough to hope you'd be okay with it. If you're not… well, no need to worry since I'm dead now, right?_

 _I just want to be with him… as much as I can. I have so much of this stupid "love" for Steven, I'm about to burst, you know?! I owe him my entire life. Steven showed me what life_ **_is_** _. So I want to give him my life, so we can always be together and do the things we do whenever we want. I want to be a permanent part of his life… I just know, somehow, I won't find any of this anywhere else. Anyone else._

 _It's not like this is unprecedented, right…? You fell in love with a gem despite being an organic with a finite lifespan. So I fell in love with a hybrid gem-organic… it's similar enough. If you think about it… we kinda fell in love with the exact same gem. A Diamond, in actuality. Completely different people, of course, but the same gem—Diamond—whatever. I don't know if it'll work out for me like it did for you, but I can deal with it if it doesn't happen like that. I'll keep him as a friend, and a member of my family. I've been so scared to_ **_lose_** _those aspects of my relationship with Steven, you know? I feel like if I start seeing him in a romantic sense, I can't see him as a friend or family member anymore. The nature of our relationship will change drastically if I go this route. Why can't I retain all facets of my relationship with him? I… I really am a clod on this subject. And it's irrelevant now as you watch this. I guess for all your help, you deserve not only to know of my loving dedication to your offspring, you deserve to see me make a fool of myself rambling on like this."_

Steven was understandably stunned to hear this. Most of the other gems' jaws dropped by the end. Even Amethyst, who heard this already, was just shaking her head in disbelief.

"Huh… I thought there'd be more of a reaction…" Greg nervously observed. "I-I told you all I wasn't exaggerating!"

"Are you already seeing her as a daughter-in-law?" Garnet asked him knowingly with a smile.

"H-honestly? Almost! I mean, pretty much! Way too early in the game, but…" Greg hardly knew how to put it. "That's the heaviest I've ever seen it laid on."

"You _think?_ " Lapis was in disbelief. "WHY is mine last, again? Mine doesn't even come close to topping that!"

Amethyst looked over to Steven, who hadn't said a word. His eyes were focused on the couch cushions, and despite his heavily blushing face, his hands had formed into shaking fists, and he looked determined… about something. To her, this was a very good sign.

She then looked back to Lapis, opened her mouth, and pointed at it to signal her why hers was indeed placed last.

"O-oh, right, of course!" Lapis looked flustered. "Uh, any other comments before we move on, then? I think most of us are still… taking it in…" She had no idea Peridot had this in her. She always seemed like a child about everything that wasn't her primary function, but this? Lapis could hardly believe Peridot had this in her. And clearly, it was something she withheld like crazy from Lapis since her message to Greg was not long after they took off into space… where just before then, she had that talk with Peridot on this very subject. She didn't sound nearly as confused as she let on; then again, Lapis recalled her woes over losing Steven in all the other ways she loved. Now it made sense. That was the source of the confusion. But regardless of that aspect, Peridot was _beyond_ heavily in love; way more so than she let on.

"I mean… that is the mother of all confession bombs," Amethyst said. "It's no less mind-blowing to hear this again; I can tell you that much…"

Connie smiled nervously. "I think Peridot got it wrong about who should be surrendering the right to pursue Steven like that," she said with a laugh. "I cannot compete with that. Maybe it is early, but given the circumstances, I'm pretty sure Peridot's feelings aren't going to change at all no matter how many years pass on from now. No amount of time can change how much she credits you for having the life she has now, Steven."

"There's something that concerns me, though," Pearl said, and she did legitimately sound worried. "Greg, she brought up you and Rose. You don't think Peridot might…"

"Wh-what?! Come on, Pearl! Even if she had that intent, I'd make sure it wouldn't be happening until _years_ down the line! I'd like to think she was only bringing it up because, well, it is literally the same gem–diamond thing that I fell for. Just very, very different people. You don't see that every day."

Finally, Steven spoke. "Lapis, play yours. I wanna hear it." His eyes were still closed, as if he was concentrating on something internally.

"O-oh, right," Lapis was quick to get in on that. "One thing, Steven. Her message to me is the last one before yours. She had done so many at once that she… her voice was almost gone by the end. She had a very limited amount of time to do yours. So… I honestly don't know how she pulled off a message for you, but… here." She played her bits of the message.

" _I suppose I should thank you for that properly, Lapis. You did help me define some of my internal struggles. I don't think I was entirely honest with you, though. I_ _ **am**_ _confused; I still am… but more than anything, I've been greedy. I want Steven as a friend, and in my family, and… I want him to be more than that, all at once. I'm just trying to lock away those stupid feelings so I can concentrate on the mission._

 _I can't keep Steven like this in my heart, though… can I? I don't want to lose him as a friend or family member if I choose to see him as more of a… soulmate, of sorts. I… I can live without him being the latter if his heart is already spoken for; I'm sort of anticipating that being the case, anyway. One useful thing I learned from you, Lapis, is to temper my expectations. If I keep them low, then I can't possibly be disappointed or let down. It's still such a depressing state of mind, though…_

 _And, you know… the "center of gravity" stuff sounded stupid at first, but the more I think about it, it's a pretty apt description. I just know it, once we do find Steven, I'll stop being such a mental case and maybe I'll actually come off as a halfway-competent leader."_

"You know, she wasn't wrong about that last part, Steven," Lapis told him. "She had a really hard time keeping herself together. But once you came back and healed her… she jumped right back in like she was always meant for it. Peridot as a leader was very consistent from that point on. Oh, and I should thank you for this one."

" _I'll always hold this "screw the Earth, I'm saving myself" thing you pulled against you, though. I never felt so betrayed. You would leave our home to perish. You would let all of our friends and family, and the billions of people we don't even know in this world all perish. You'd let my center of gravity die so easily… I… I really want to hate you for that. I can't, because… because he won't forgive me for holding on to a grudge, but… Lapis, I'm_ _ **so mad**_ _at you. I'm s-sorry that I keep circling back to this but it's just… j-just…_ _ **how could you?!**_ _"_

"Thanks to you, she doesn't hate me," Lapis said with a smirk. "But she wants me to atone in the event of... well, you know. Here's my last piece… and here's where her voice is almost gone."

" _I-I don't want you to ever turn your back on Steven and his home again. I want you to promise me that. If you don't want to be part of it, then be there in my place! Because there's no place I would rather be! –Ggghh, why is this so hard to talk to you about, stars almighty, I talk to you more than most other gems! This should be easy! You already knew, didn't you? How much I love Steven… I-is that why you pushed me away all the time? Because I wasn't always at his side while living with you? … n-no, shut up, Peridot, you're being hysterical._ _ **Use your logic.**_ _Drrhh…_

 _L-Lapis, how am I gonna do this?! You can already tell my voice is almost gone! How do I even talk to Steven posthumously?! I-I'm gonna screw this up so bad… why did I do all of this? Why did I_ _ **make**_ _this? Why didn't I consider the psychological ramifications of you all watching these messages?! Now I'm in too deep! I HAVE to finish this. Steven will wonder why I didn't make one for him and– ow, ow. This is… this is hurting me. Talking is hurting me. … I… I need to stop. Rest my voice._

 _I-I'm sorry, Lapis… s-sorry to end it th-this way… h-had I f-foreseen this, I… I w-would've done yours a-and Steven's first. J-just… take care, o-okay? I-I'm sure you'll h-hardly know I'm gone!"_

An eerie silence permeated the room after that clip finished. That one was very hard for Amethyst to hear the first time, and again, the second was no easier to endure. Many were driven to tears listening to that. Steven was no exception, but his head was still bowed down towards the couch. He tried his best to recover quickly, because he understood why his friends subjected this to him now.

"Sorry to end our session like this," Lapis apologized in a gentle tone. "But you were right, Amethyst. I would've just ruined the others' messages if I didn't go on last."

"Trust me when I say I know these things," Amethyst honestly assured her. "Steven, you got anything to say now?"

There were a few beats of silence… then Steven finally raised his head and opened his eyes, facing everyone. He looked determined… and nothing was going to stop him now.

"Amethyst, where's my phone?"

"Right here, little man," Amethyst said as she held out Steven's phone before tossing it to him. He caught it without even the slightest struggle or flinch. "You finally ready?"

"Yeah…" Steven looked to his phone. "Yeah, I need to see this."

Before Steven could even ask for privacy, the circle broke up. They already knew; that was Peridot's rule.

"If anyone's interested, please join me in my room," Pearl invited the others. "I'm going to work on a pallid cure, a vaccine… _something_. I could definitely use some extra sets of hands, so…"

Most gems volunteered for this. Greg opted out, though. "I think I'm gonna head to my van and bring the guitar." He patted Steven on the head before turning to leave. "Just you wait. You won't believe what song I learned while you were gone!"

Steven smiled at this father and nodded silently. Soon after, Amethyst came over to hug the boy. "So that snapped you out of it, huh? I was hoping it would, little man."

Steven laughed a bit and hugged back. "Yeah, yeah… it did. Thank you, Amethyst. I really… really appreciate this."

"Good, 'cause I was gonna be pissed if you hated it!" Amethyst said boldly. "Though I kinda feel bad that I just dumped a load of stuff into your head all at once. You gonna be okay from now on?"

"I have to be," Steven insisted. "What good am I gonna be at rescuing Peridot if I'm not?"

"Good point, my man!" Amethyst played around with his hair one last time before heading to her room. "I'm too exhausted for that science crap… I'm gonna defrag for a while. Steven, grab yourself a meal while you read that message, 'kay? You gotta be starving."

"You're not wrong there…" Steven patted his grumbling stomach. "Thanks again, Amethyst."

* * *

Nearly the entire house was vacated at this point. There was just one left; one who was about to walk out the door.

"Hey, Lapis…?" Steven looked mildly concerned. "Everything okay?"

Lapis looked to Steven and smiled. "As fine as I can be. Just… let me know if she's okay in your message, got that? She came out of the chamber sounding better than she did at the end of my message, so… she must have pulled something off in there to make a message for you. Of course she would, for you."

Steven looked away and blushed. "I, uh… had no idea, honestly. She pretty much gave me something like a confession while I healed her, but it wasn't nearly as big as all that. It's gonna be tough finding out just what to say…"

"Just be you," Lapis advised. "Because that's what she loves the most. And don't worry about me, okay? She didn't tell me anything I didn't deserve to hear in my message. It wasn't all bad, either. She cares for me a lot more than she led on, too."

Steven smiled to her. "She definitely does; we had to deal with the fallout of that… but it's all okay now, right? So where are you going? I doubt you're hanging with Dad." The tone in his voice screamed "please don't run away again".

"Ah, not really…" Lapis said shyly. "I mean, I'll keep an eye on him; he's one of my Peri Patrol friends, and a Crystal Gem now too…"

" **HE IS**?!"

Lapis giggled; she forgot Steven was still asleep when that was made official. "You can thank Peridot for that one, too. Garnet approved it, so yep. He's the heart of our Peridot division, just like you're the heart of Garnet's. What I'm actually going to do is train. Homeworld doesn't have natural water reserves, so I need to learn how to fight better with limited amounts. I didn't exactly have a lot of time to train when we went after you and the others… I want to make sure I do a better job next time."

"I think we're all gonna make sure to do a better job next time," Steven assured her. "Peridot told me about that, I just remembered. I'm sure you're gonna do great, Lapis. Just be sure you come home soon. I mean… I guess this can be your home right now, if you want it to be."

Lapis blushed a bit. Peridot nagged at her about this in her message. "I might take you up on that, Steven. Once we bring Peridot home with us, too."

That statement was met with a joyous hug and Lapis reciprocated. "That's right. _That's right!_ It'll all be fine soon!" Steven's stomach grumbled again, to which Lapis stifled a laugh at.

As Steven went over towards the kitchen, Lapis had an idea. She pinched her nose and spoke in a very particular and familiar way. "Yes, I believe it's your feeding time, as you organic meatbags would call it. Consume what you must if you're really in that much need of sustenance. I swear, you humans are so simplistic and needy… no wonder you're a bunch of clods."

That brought about laughter that could have torn the house down. If anyone who already knew Lapis for her impressions had witnessed it, they'd say it was her best one yet.

* * *

 **[ FINAL LOG: STEVEN ]**


	8. Steven

It was past midnight. Having slept for so long, Steven knew his internal clock was going to be messed up for a while. But it was a consequence he could deal with.

Steven reclined on his bed – not to sleep in it, but to get himself comfortable. With no one in the area now, Steven had a feeling he'd need one of his plush toys to hug in order to get through this. He had already eaten to satisfy his ravenous hunger… now Steven was ready. As ready as he'd ever be.

He held out his phone and just took a moment to breathe in. Steven had some very disturbing dreams during his long period of slumber; worst of all, something like an identity crisis where Steven, Rose Quartz, and Pink Diamond shifted between forms; all of them suffering a massive headache. It was like all three fought for dominance. Steven couldn't understand how or why, but he too was a victim of seeing White Diamond's terrifying face pop in with an odd-sounding static effect that just terrified Steven to the core. He was so glad that was a dream. Now, if only everything after the post-wedding party was just a dream… he'd love that.

"I'm sorry I've been so stubborn about seeing you, Peridot," Steven spoke to his phone. He was far from the first one to talk to an inanimate object today. "It just… it hurts so much. But now I know everything, Peri… well, most of everything. I know all this now… a-and I just wanna hear you and see you again. Even if it can only be like this."

Steven brought up the file, just about to hit the play button before he hesitated. "Just gotta remember that… you can't be dead now. No way. White Diamond's definitely gonna use you to lure me back in. But that's okay; we're _all_ getting out of Homeworld this time. And we'll… find some way to deal with White Diamond. Just… please be okay, now. Because I'm sure you're not gonna be okay in this message. You've… you've been though a lot."

He already felt the love just by seeing the still frame of Peridot in her isolation chamber. And with that, he pressed play… and was unsurprised, but also disappointed to hear a _very_ drained Peridot speak to him on a level barely above a whisper. Steven made sure to turn the volume up.

"… _L-Log Date… ETA: 33 min-minutes…_

 _Steven… I-I'm sorry. My voice is nearly gone from all these other videos… and bossing my teammates around. Th-that was a major design oversight that's n-no one's fault but my… but my own. So don't blame yourself._

 _In fact, I–"_

Everything was interrupted with a series of dry coughing. Coughing that looked very painful, in fact, and Steven was quick to catch on. Peridot turned back to the camera after getting it under control, but she had already lost any trace of composure and dignity she had left at this point.

Peridot tried to properly reposition herself to face Steven, but that only lasted one fleeting moment before her body lurched forward, making Peridot's head drop down along with her body. Her hands grasped the handles of her chair for dear life while her legs wobbled and shook, trying to keep her body stable so she didn't completely fall off the chair. There wasn't much room for Peridot to fall flat on her face on, at least.

To her credit, she forced her head back up and her body plopped right against the back of her seat. It was better than the alternative. Peridot looked miserable, but when she looked at the camera – to Steven again, she smiled slightly.

" _One m-moment, Steven. I'm gonna… I'm gonna try something… th-that I've never tried before."_

Steven was concerned but intrigued. Peridot had nothing but her tablet with her inside this chamber; he could tell. And said tablet was busy being the camera for this message. Whatever Peridot planned on doing… it wouldn't involve a gadget.

Peridot readjusted her position so that she sat upright once more. She closed her eyes; her hands came together, fingers all interlaced to hold the connection. Her arms bend upwards and rested over her chest. Her head tilted down. Peridot's entire body shook as she tried to get into the position she wanted… and Steven could tell from the surface what his gem was trying to do.

She was praying for help. Begging for someone, _anyone_ to help her. Peridot was completely out of options; she wasn't going to step away from this. She wasn't even going to let her team see how weakened she was by leaving the chamber prematurely. Unfortunately, that was the downside of her ridiculously stubborn nature: it would even make a genius make incredibly stupid decisions. It was all based on what she wanted; what she desired, whether it was feasible or not. And… more often than she'd care to admit, Peridot wanted ridiculous and unreasonable things at times.

Steven then twitched, as he felt something… or heard something, rather, in his mind. It was of terrible, static-filled quality, but Steven could hear, deep in his mind, Peridot's desperate pleas. As well as some other faint noise in the background.

" _I want to talk! I need to be able to talk! This is crucial and I'm desperate! Someone out there, please help me! Let me be able to talk again; I promise I'll take care of my temper this time! I'd do anything to have that right now… please please please, I need this more than anything! I'll exchange my sight! My ability to touch! My hearing! J-just, please!_ _ **I wanna talk to Steven one last time!**_ _"_

Clearly, the quality was due to this being a recording from a day ago. But Steven was surprised his abilities as an empath could even let him pick up the thoughts from a recording at all. He certainly wished he had this when he found the VHS tape with Rose a while back.

Then again, Steven realized that, no, these weren't thoughts he just heard. These were feelings. Pure, raw feelings. He wasn't sure if it was an extension of his abilities or possibly unique to his bond with Peridot, which certainly blossomed into something much more than was expected.

But then, Steven heard music. The quality was still poor, but he could recognize the tune. He eventually recognized the voices as well; his father's was easy to identify, but since that was in fact him, Steven was shocked when he pieced together that the other voices belonged to Bismuth and Lapis. Not only was this something Steven couldn't imagine either of them doing, let alone with his father, but the tune was definitely confirmed when he could make out a "Takin' care of Bismuth" lyric. Which made Steven chuckle a bit, but there was something even more extraordinary.

The odd thing was, their singing couldn't be heard in the video. Peridot made sure to soundproof her chamber. But Peridot smiled as Steven could hear the music more clearly, and even visualized the singing trio off to another side. Some kind of aura emanated from each of them; said aura was then being siphoned off straight into Peridot. Steven could feel the sensation vicariously through her, and it was glorious for the brief time it lasted.

It turned out Peridot's teammates were much closer to her than she ever could have imagined.

Steven focused back on the video in the real world, and soon his eyes widened. Peridot hadn't moved at all and maintained her posture. But there was a notable change: the gemstone on her forehead lit up brightly. Steven normally saw this when Peridot volunteered to become his substitute flashlight in the dark… but something felt different about the way the gem glowed now. It was hard to tell the true colors beneath her visor, but not only was it much brighter than normal, there was a prominent yellowish tint at the center, where the glow could be seen originating from the center of the gemstone.

Abruptly, the glow became a flash, which also made Steven wince as he was watching this in a dark room at the time. But something about it made Steven jerk back, as if he had been pushed away by some kind of force wave. It was at that moment Steven, as he was nearly blinded, saw a split-second image of… something very indistinct. It was really just a very detailed crystalline texture tinted in the same color as the light projecting it, but multiple other pastels could be made out. Steven just barely caught it, but… he couldn't even guess what that was about. For all he knew, this could have been just a side-effect of his own powers. It certainly wasn't Peridot's power that enabled Steven to read into her past feelings.

The light finally receded, seemingly being absorbed back into Peridot's gemstone. Even when the lighting returned to normal, Peridot's gem still lit up and remained that way as Peridot finally slouched back into a more comfortable posture and her eyes opened. Her hands were still clasped together, though.

" _Whoa… what was… w-wait, what–?"_

Peridot suddenly inched over towards the camera, scrutinizing it. Steven almost felt as if she could tell he was watching her, but that wasn't the case, obviously. That was what she wanted for this, after all. Most likely, Peridot had a live feed showing herself on screen, so she knew everything was recording the way she wanted. It was like a mirror now, because that was how she noticed her almost white-hot gemstone on her forehead. One hand rose up under her visor to touch the gem directly, and the immediate wince and pained squeak that came out of Peridot showed that touching it was a bad idea. Her arm thrust back down so Peridot could try to cool down her burnt finger. In about 20 seconds, Peridot snapped out of it and stared at the camera in utter fear.

" _Oh, my stars… I've been recording this the entire time…"_ The young gem quickly shook her head. _"N-no, no, this is a good thing. I have footage of this strange phenomenon. I can show this to my friends when I get–"_ Two revelations dawned on Peridot then: one, if this video was being watched at all, she'd never get answers from her friends because she would be dead by then.

But now, just then, Peridot realized she could speak again. It didn't hurt to do so, either.

" _YES! I'm not even gonna bother asking why because I do_ _ **not**_ _have the time, but thank the STARS I can talk to you properly, Steven! Thank whoever healed my voice for me, okay?"_

Steven smiled to himself. He certainly was going to thank a few certain individuals… when he also asks about the incident he witnessed on-screen. He relaxed properly now, and felt it was time to just absorb in fully whatever Peridot had to say about him.

" _Okay, okay. Normally I would cut this, Steven, but this is just too important to throw out and I don't have the time to make an edit. This is for science, Steven! Understand that!_

… _but seeing as I've wasted 4 of my 33 minutes now, I suppose I should talk about you. That's what you're here for, right? Honestly, in hindsight, I should have made your video first… because this feels like the 8_ _th_ _time I've gone over this. But I'll do it, Steven. I'll do anything for you._

… _I would do anything for you, if I had not lost my life. You know the deal. I'm gone, but you're still here. Now, I'm gonna do my best not to cry like some defective weakling, because it'll just make you do it too. I hate making you cry, Steven. I'd never want to do it again… but I guess given the context here, it's pretty impossible not to want to cry this out._

 _Steven, Steven, Steven… where do I even begin with you? The literal beginning, when you and I were adversaries? When I became stranded on Earth because of you, and before we crossed paths again, I hated every single one of you because of what it was like living on the run? When I was captured and bubbled, and would have remained with all the prisoners for the rest of time, but didn't, because you freed me… just because you were interested in what I knew about the Cluster? When I took refuge in your bathroom and eventually made it my new home? When you… told me about rain, thunderstorms, lightning and all that, because I thought the Cluster was emerging? When you… convinced me to go outside and experience the rain for the first time in my life? I felt myself cry for the first time in my life that day. I don't even remember why, now. I didn't even know I was capable of it. It's not that you did anything wrong… because I wasn't sad._

 _Starting from that day, I experienced new feelings, emotions… I didn't know what to make of it back then, but it wasn't long before I started craving for more of it. And it turned me into the emotional cosmic storm that I am today. I have you to thank for that, Steven. I've lived a pretty short life, but I'm glad for the last few months of it, I could learn how to truly live and enjoy it. To be honest, I'd want to share that with you forever, but… it's not meant to be._

 _I-I'm tired of circling around this subject. It feels like I'm… what was that phrase you humans used? Desecrating the deceased equine? Something like that. I promised a certain someone that I would confess to you here, so I'm doing it. Right now._

… _I love you, Steven. But it's… more than how you meant it when we thought we were gonna die in the center of the Earth. I love you in every possible way, Steven Universe. You are responsible for giving me the life I have now. My freedom, my identity, everything. I'd be nothing but an empty husk without you… I'm assuming, and at least hoping, that's not the case for you. You've got too many loved ones around you who'd never let you fall. In time, you won't miss one friend out of the dozens you already have…_

 _I keep telling myself that, and I know it's a lie. I know it's gonna tear you up, because that's the kind of person you are, Steven. I'm very sorry for that. I've tried my best to be careful; to save you all in this mission. I'm assuming the others made it out okay if you did… I'll be at peace in death knowing I at least saved all of you. I honestly didn't think I'd have a chance to pull that off. But I love all of you too much to just… turn my back on you when you need help._

 _Steven, I'm begging you, don't beat yourself up over this. Even if you hadn't sent that SOS, I would've gone there to find you. To Homeworld. I couldn't care less about my issues with that wretched rock, because you and your friends are in trouble there. Because had I not been poofed, I wouldn't have let you go to Homeworld in the first place. I don't trust the Diamonds, Steven. And I'd hope you would at least take my point of view seriously, considering I've been working directly under Yellow Diamond all my life until recently! I honestly know little to nothing about White Diamond… there was always some unsaid understanding between everyone that White Diamond is not even to be mentioned by name. She never comes out… but it's apparent she has authority over Yellow and Blue._

 _All I know is… if she could cure the gems of corruption, why hasn't she done so by now? If she can do it, then she won't do it, Steven. That's all there is to it. I'm sure she has something to do with your current troubles. I know you couldn't help it, but honestly? I'm mad I didn't get a say in this decision you all made considering the circumstances. I'll own up to that mistake… I was an idiot for running up to Yellow Diamond just so I could tell her off again. I just couldn't help myself… I just_ _ **really**_ _wanted to tell her off in person, so you could see how far I've come._

 _You've inspired a lot of confidence in me, Steven. I'm aware of my arrogant nature and bloated ego, but I'm just as much aware of my shortcomings. The shortcomings that prevent me from truly being useful to your team._

 _Well… you know what I'm talking about. My identity as an Era 2, destined to be weaker than all your friends no matter what. Even weaker than you and Connie. More durable, assuredly, but that's a Peridot's nature. Highly resilient to damage, and the technician predisposition. That's all. The metal powers… I have no idea what they're about, but it's not like I'm that skilled with it. I only got Jasper because her monologuing and mutation gave me such a huge opening. And if Garnet and Pearl had been there at the time, I'm sure Jasper would've been poofed much sooner than that. I very well might be as defective as Amethyst, honestly. No Peridot regardless of era has ever been recorded to possess such power. And I was one of the last made Homeworld gems… Era 2s get smaller and smaller with each succeeding series, due to how our creation is what finally sucked the planet dry of resources. So that tininess that you like so much about me? Yeah… that's just an expected defect._

 _What I'm trying to say is… I really wanted to be more useful to your team, Steven. I like being a Crystal Gem. Given those of us left who can help you now, I'm actually the leader of the Crystal Gems as we speak! I-I wonder, though… did you think that through when you sent for help? I suppose you'd support this endeavor no matter what, but understand you just left your lives in my hands. I'm responsible for everyone's safety. So I'm glad… I can uphold that promise to you in the end, even if I can't celebrate with you._

 _You're still going to beat yourself up over this, aren't you? Well, stop it. I hate seeing you do it. It confuses me, you see. I'm sort of… almost automatically driven to attack anyone who harms you at this point. But if it's you hurting yourself… what exactly can I do about that, other than to tell you to stop? I just can't stand for it. You mean too much to me now, Steven._

 _I have no idea if you've ever loved me back like that… I wouldn't blame you if you haven't. I've already told Connie I will concede to her, should she desire to pursue you. I'm only giving up easily because that's objectively the better option over fighting about it and risk losing my relationship with both of you. I really do like Connie, Steven. I want to get to know her better. Well, I did when I was alive, anyway… though I'll admit since I learned about this "school" you young humans attend, I'm quite cross that you never took advantage of that. I'd love to be there, but I can't! You could easily attend school, but you don't! I was under the impression that "school" was mandatory for the intellectual development of human children and adolescents. Hmph. I suppose your family has their reasons… though this isn't the first time I've doubted their methods in how you were raised. It's really none of my business, but since I've unavoidably become attached to you, it's much more difficult to resist prying around to learn as much as I can about you. I hoped that in lieu of a formal education, I could teach you while you keep teaching me, but… it sucks when I realize now what I could have done for you before this mess happened._

 _This is the kind of thing I'd expect you to chide me for saying, because you'd say I'm talking as if I'm your servant… like how I used to be for Yellow Diamond. But it's not like that now. Maybe the first week or so in when I finally aligned with you did I perceive it that way, but that's only because I knew no other way_ _ **to**_ _see it. In Homeworld, Steven, you don't have friends. You have colleagues who are ultimately your competition with the common goal of achieving honors from your superiors, so that we may have the opportunity to make use of our skills outside Homeworld to aid our growing empire. It had nothing to do with going outside our realm to see and experience new places; all we looked forward to was successfully colonizing as many planets as we could, as that would keep the Diamonds happy with us. That's what my life was all about. And I'll tell you this: you don't reach my level of success without doing some horrible things. Focusing on making friends was a quick way to get you shattered; if not through incompetence, then it just becomes a weakness Peridots like me could exploit to get further ahead in the game. I don't remember all of the details, of course… otherwise I would have confessed by now. But I do know by virtue of common sense – Homeworld sense – that behavior like yours and your friends' wouldn't have gotten you anywhere. You think Jasper climbed up in the ranks by being buddies with all the other Quartz soldiers? I think you don't need me to answer that._

 _The unfortunate thing is… I suppose I_ _ **had**_ _to be that bad, or else I never would have been granted the mission to Earth in the first place. And you'd be encountering some other Peridot… who knows how that could have turned out. My type is by far the most common gem in Homeworld's existence; you could have ended up with a Peridot who could've been better than me or far, far worse. So, I guess it was unavoidable… I had to be a monster so that I could meet you in the first place. That's kind of a twisted way to look at it, but… it's a valid assessment._

 _It's something that… I know you well enough now to assume you'd have already forgiven me, but I'm still not entirely convinced. Mostly because I don't remember the full extent of my previous life's brutality. I hope I won't have to find out, but… given where I'm headed right now, it's becoming more and more of a legitimate concern. If I see certain places or other gems… it might start to come together. So I hope my future self takes this advice to heart and keeps the interactions minimal. I do have a plan that will help us find you very quickly, but it'll require me to get new limb enhancers_ _ **and**_ _speak to at least some of the fellow Peridots. It's going to be worth it, though. I'll be back to my diminutive "cute" self you enjoy so much the moment I get what I'm aiming for. I just hope you aren't suffering too much as I speak right now…_

 _Because that very real possibility upsets me. I don't want you getting hurt anymore, Steven. You've suffered enough after some of the crazy stuff you learned, so let your friends suffer for you for once in your life. I don't see you as my superior in the least, Steven. You're… you kind of feel like an equal in many ways. I know I've gone out of my way to idolize you and compare you favorably at my own expense, but that's just comparing traits and aptitude. Outside of Amethyst, the other gems feel… much higher than me; almost out of my reach. They have superior physical traits and have that "worldly knowledge" that comes with having lived a long life. And in that aspect, even Amethyst has that over me. She's consistently perceived by me as an older "sister" figure, as best I can understand that term. You, on the other hand… our levels of intellect may have a wide gap between them, but it's balanced out by your aptitude for empathy… truly understanding others and bringing people together. We're teaching each other… so it's kind of like we're on the same level._

 _Maybe that does have some benefits… the older gems don't comprehend modern-day technology nearly as well as I do. They don't know how Homeworld's changed… well, they probably have an idea_ _ **now**_ _, but… well, they just come off as having a set way of perceiving everything. Like they already know better, even if they very much don't… ugh. Still, that's a big part of why I'm leading this team; I'm the only one who can navigate that clod-forsaken dirt pile, and consequently the only one who can make preliminary plans. I wish we knew more details about you and the others and your situation, Steven. Because with such limited information about you, this is the best I can do._

 _All I know is, I can't stop… couldn't stop exploring your planet, learning about everything that's out there. Learn how humans function; how they socialize. I understand my social skills still need a lot of work. And I'd be happy to focus on improving that if I wasn't… you know. You and Amethyst took me to Funland that one time and it was… well, it had a nice ending to it despite the rough start. And that was more on my inability to shapeshift to compensate for my height. But there were so many activities there; some we didn't even have time to try out. I really loved the experience, Steven. But I try to imagine the others, like Garnet or Pearl, or even Bismuth and Lapis… I don't think they'd_ _ **get**_ _the appeal of this place. Maybe it's because they've lived through several Earth millennia that they just feel set in their ways with no innate desire to explore this planet… and absorb it… not like I do. Even Amethyst has her limits in that regard, depending on what I'm learning about. But you never wavered, Steven. And as for me? Perhaps gems and humans do share the trait of being more receptive to learning, adapting, and acclimating when they're younger. When they haven't existed long enough to just accept the way things are and… forge their own path in spite of Earth._

 _I really love this planet, Steven. It's an interesting turnabout considering how little I thought of Earth at first, but you enabled me… to learn how to grow fond of it. It has negative factors of its own, of course. In terms of technology feats, your planet is so embarrassingly far behind Homeworld. Then again, Homeworld never had it used for… entertainment. For engaging in various interests… to socialize. None of that factored into the rate of production – in fact, such elements would inhibit it. I suppose the extreme side-effect migrating to this planet has had on me can be attributed to just how limiting Homeworld was. We were more technologically advanced, but so what? It was all just for work… for satiating the insatiable Diamond Authority._

 _Speaking of Diamonds… I never really talked with you about the deal with your maternal unit. Mostly because it had no effect on me whatsoever. I mean, from a nonbiased outsider's perspective, it's such an absurd revelation that it borderlines comical levels, but I know better than to laugh about this. But let it be known, Steven, that I still don't care about any of that. Because you're still you. It did just occur to me that I went from serving Yellow Diamond to being saved and awakened by the offspring of Pink Diamond. Now that, I do find very humorous. But in all seriousness, I can never see you as Rose Quartz or Pink Diamond. And I will never hold you accountable for her actions, Steven. The gemstone my body comes from may be my literal identity… as is the case for literally every other gem in existence, but you? You merely inherited your maternal unit's gem… diamond… whatever. You shouldn't have to pay for her transgressions; you had no say in your own conception, you know? What you do with the power from this point forward is on you, but I'm honestly irritated to hear anyone address you as Rose or Pink. It isn't who you are. It will_ _ **never**_ _be who you are. I'll– I would fight anyone who insists otherwise. If I was alive._

 _So, yeah… the odd symbolism of my life aside, I will always regard you as Steven Universe and I won't even speak your maternal unit's name unless you ask me to. Or if I have to exposit on something we find that she had a hand in, but that's just necessary observation. You're the one I love, Steven. I guarantee you, I am no Pearl on this subject._

 _You know… I feel like I'm low on secrets to exclusively give you, Steven. I poured my heart out to everyone else, and every time I couldn't stop dedicating some time to talk about you. I didn't mean to; I just… want to ensure your well-maintained health and state of mind… as well as protection. But then you're stuck in my mind and I start rambling, and before I snap out of it, I've already confessed my love for you to somebody unintentionally. It's… so embarrassing. Thankfully my death will overshadow that quickly._

 _One thing I haven't told the others, Steven… is how you unsealed a new sensation in me that normally only applies to humans: imaginations and illusions made by my subconscious. Normally for humans, it's how they dream. But that would require sleep, and I can count the times I've genuinely slept throughout my life with one hand. However, I'm perfectly capable of the counterpart: daydreaming. I've… lately caught myself indulging in those fantasies. It could be while I'm watching a program I'm not too invested in, or it could be while I'm performing maintenance in your house. Just a mere thought takes me away, and…_

 _It's so embarrassing to even bring this up. But so many of them involve you, I… it's my duty to inform you of your inadvertent involvement in my daytime fantasies. Sometimes it's nothing too crazy… like the both of us just having what I believe is called a "picnic" on top of a densely grassy field, sitting at an optimal angle for taking in the sight of massive mountains capped with frozen water set right behind an idyllic natural lake… of unfrozen water, of course. So many hued varieties of flora are all around us, and for some reason I'm wearing an elegant dress, and somehow… a large hat with a ribbon tied around it. I don't think you were wearing anything out of the ordinary, Steven. I've always loved you just the way you are._

 _But that's a mild delusion I'll lose myself in for a few minutes. Sometimes they get… well. Bizarre. There's one where I'm taking you all over Beach City past your curfew. And yes, I'm the one insisting on it. You eventually just enjoy the thrill of being a little rebellious. And there's another scenario where you and I are in that… what was it, a wrestling ring? Even though it's shaped like a square? We're both wearing ridiculous costumes, but we're in the spotlight celebrating, because we just won the tag team championship titles. And it's exhilarating… until Amethyst and Lapis storm in and challenge us, wanting you and me to put our titles on the line right after we won. I think I was screaming at a referee that a competitor cannot simply book their own match. Then I believe Garnet came down the ramp to some really cool music, and she announced that she is sanctioning this match that Amethyst and Lapis proposed, so we don't even get to enjoy our victory for long. I don't think I've ever imagined who won that… I just have a feeling I might have made us lose by disqualification because I couldn't resist using my metal powers to flatten Lapis with a steel chair. And thankfully, we can't lose our titles unless the stipulation calls for no "DQs". Nyeheh…_

 _A lot of it is just… extremely bizarre stuff where we're having fun. Then there's the… er… the greedy parts of my daydreams. The ones where I have you as an official significant other. Where we hold hands and walk across the coast during the twilight hours. Another has you taking me out to share an evening meal at a high-class facility for consumption purposes, and this time we're both dressed for the occasion. I'm even eating regularly… like a human would. One where we sit on the couch and either enjoy or mock whatever we're watching on the television… and you eventually teach me how to play all of your video games. One where we visit famous vacation locales; just the two of us…_

 _Then there's one that legitimately scared me, because I didn't really understand it. A-against my better judgment, I will share it with you… so that perhaps you can decipher it._

 _At first, it was just me, in a kitchen, and I'm wearing an apron over some… really puffed-up dress with ruffles that doesn't look that good at all; especially not on me. I'm making… breakfast, I believe? I'm making a lot of it… and I'm actually competent in doing so. Then I call out that it's breakfast time, and –oh stars, this is gonna suck– th-then… I hear a rumble… I feel it. Pumpkin rushes in, only there are multiple duplicates of her that somehow have not grown to her size. Then a group of small… sentient beings rush in to take their place at the table. Some take longer than others. One clings to my dress and I thought I'd just hiss at it to scare it away, but no. I pick it up and embrace whatever that living being is. I'm… laughing. I'm happy. Overwhelmingly so. I eventually carry it to the table and put it in a seat. And the reason I'm being so vague about what these things are is… I have no idea what they could be. I can't even guess, because they're so… blurred out. They look like a bunch of blobs. They don't look like anything I've ever seen in my entire life, so… I can't even compare them to anything. I hear faint sounds of their tiny little voices, but they're so muffled; I can't decipher them._

 _I… serve them their morning sustenance, I guess. This overpowering joy is still there – it never left. Then a bigger sentient being comes in; notably taller than me, for certain. But I can tell… I know it's you. You're a little hazy to see in full detail, but I'd know that hair anywhere. Your voice is clear, unlike the little blur brats. But it's also not the same as it is now. I presume it's due to your matured form, but there are still qualities to the voice that are unique to you, Steven. Our size difference doesn't seem to hinder our ability to embrace and… kiss. OhmystarswhydidIsaythatoutloudtoyou?!_

 _W-wait. Right. I decided to do this. So, um… eventually those blurry abominations leave the house one-by-one, and I'm trying to feed you breakfast because, well… I presume you are employed somewhere, like many adult humans are. And of course, I want you to be punctual every day, but you tell me you're on holiday, so there is no work to be done._

 _I still try to feed you your morning food, but you insist that all you want at the moment is… ergh, me. We shift to certain… ahem, oral engagements that are… oh, I can't describe that to you; I'll shatter just from doing that! B-but eventually all action ceases; you're practically carrying me now and I don't even want to describe what I'm like at that point. What I clearly remember is I'm being asked something– in a tone that I don't think you will ever replicate in real life, Steven, even when you grow up–… "You wanna make another one?" And…_ _ **urgh**_ _, of course the fantasy me says yes and it stops there. I swear it stops there. I swear_ _ **on your life**_ _it stops there._

… _wow, why did I tell you all of this? I'm really that convinced I'm gonna die. All I ever wanted was to just… give myself to you. I-I mean, not in… S-Steven, you've given me everything I have. I told you this already. You gave me the freaking tablet I'm using to record this, for stars' sake! Is it wrong of me to just want to return the favor to you? You're the only one I'd offer myself and everything I am to. Like I said, it's not like Yellow Diamond! It's not because you're Pink Diamond's offspring! You've done so much for me; I was endeared to you when I thought you were just a Quartz. It's not you being my superior in any way, either! What did I tell you before? Equals! We are equals, Steven!_

 _But right now… I'm completely off-balance. Because I don't have my center of gravity around to keep me grounded. Steven, I love you so much! But I still want to be part of your family. I still want us to be friends. Please tell me I can keep all of that, Steven. I couldn't stand to lose any bit of what makes you… you. That's what scares me more than anything, outside of losing you entirely. But I can't let that consume me. I'm coming here to save you, Steven. And evidently, I will succeed… in saving you, at least. I can rest easy knowing that…_

 _I know you really want to, Steven, but I don't want you to come after me on the off-chance that I survive. You know it, I know it… I'll just be used to trap you. Steven, if you do that, then what was the point of me doing all of this in the first place? You'd just prove that you aren't appreciative of what I had to go through to send you home. The sacrifice I made! Does any of that mean anything to you?! J-just…_ _ **shut up**_ _, I know you're about to protest it! I don't want you anywhere near the Diamonds ever again, you hear me?! I would've told you that before I had hadn't been a colossal_ _ **clod**_ _and gotten myself poofed!_

 _Besides, as I alluded to earlier, it's not like my hands aren't stained with dust. I've been directly and indirectly responsible for a good number of lives lost before I met you. I'm scared the number is higher than I currently remember it. I may have reformed, Steven, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm still exactly what you hate the most: a killer. I didn't do it out of self-defense, Steven. Unlike you getting blamed for the Rose and Pink stuff, it was actually me who committed my sins! The real, actual Peridot G of the 5X series! No amount of change from who I used to be is going to justify the sins I've committed. So you know what? Whether I'm alive or dead… this might just be my punishment. These are sins I'm owning up to because they were committed by my own hand, or my own verbal order! I'd much rather be with you all – don't get me wrong – but this is the consequence of my actions, and I have to live with it, Steven! I might just…_ _ **almost**_ _hate you if you ignore all of this and go back for me anyway! Don't say I didn't warn you!_

 _A-ah–! Aowh… oh no. Come on; I didn't strain my voice that much already, could I have?! W-wait… ggrrghk… oh. The glow. The glow is fading. And my throat is hurting again – and there g-goes my voice crack-king. Th-this can't be a coincidence. Thi– this must have only been a temporary fix. Gggh. Of course. A-and I'm almost out of ti–me, anyway… okay. G-gotta power my way through this t-to ennnd it; i-if I can bust my thr-throat for Lapis, thennn… I… I'll do it f-for you, Steven, over n' over…!_

 _I– I w-was gonna t-tell you I c-converted my date of emergence to a birthday f-finally, b-but just ask Garnet. She… she's the only one I told. L-let her know I approved it for you. –nnngh, gah…_

 _St-Steven. I lost count of how many… how many times I said I love you. There's nothing I could e-ever love more. J-just know, despite this costing my life… I'd do it all over again, i-if that's what it takes to save you. E-even if it didn't kill me, I don't regret my actions. I will do anything to save you, Steven. Even things y-you don't approve of. Live the best life you can, Steven… be happy, experience life… be glad you have it. Because I am._

 _W-with all my love, with m-my devotion, this is my ultimate final sign off._

 _This… this has been Peridot Facet-2F5L Cut-5XG, telling my Steven I only can leave him with this to sum up everything I feel about him._

 _Wow… thanks."_

* * *

Steven fully collapsed over the mattress, feeling like he had run a marathon. That's what his rapidly-beating heart was trying to get across, anyway. He had cried off-and-on throughout the message, though Steven stifled it so it wouldn't interfere with his ability to hear what he needed to hear.

There wasn't a single moment where Steven wasn't feeling some kind of tension each time he heard Peridot speak. His stomach was in knots, his arms ached from holding his phone the entire time. His neck and back weren't much better off. And despite the calmness (whatever there could be in her dying voice) and assurances at the end, Steven didn't feel the least bit at ease. He had fully intended on coming along for the rescue effort anyway, but after listening to this… Steven felt antsy. He knew every moment he and his friends were relaxing and planning at a reasonable pace was a moment Peridot was at White Diamond's mercy. Though he definitely knew how ridiculously tenacious the technician could be, especially after everything he learned tonight, Steven knew everyone had to break eventually. And in the presence of White Diamond, Steven still felt the chill run down his spine every time he thought of that disturbing face flickering in and out of the darkness. It horrified him to think of all the possible ways Peridot could be getting hurt or tortured. He knew she wouldn't spill any information voluntarily, but Steven worried that White could forcibly use her body as a shield, or even as a means to combat her own friends. That definitely seemed to be what White enjoyed doing the most: manipulating others to do her bidding.

Even if he hadn't spent nearly a day sleeping, Steven would have been far too restless to even consider turning in for the night. This would have been much easier to digest if the situation wasn't so dire, but with current events in mind, Steven couldn't bring himself to focus on a single thought or desire to act; a million other details demanded his attention or acknowledgment all at once. It really didn't help that Steven had issues of his own boiling within him that had been nagging at his psyche since the Era 3 ball, either.

Only one thing seemed certain to Steven right now: what he just watched was a cry for help in more ways than one. Peridot needed to be saved, and he was just sitting here doing nothing but feeling bad for her. The longer Steven sat in place, the more he felt an unsettling warmth within him; it was familiar to him now. His mother's power was being triggered by something, most likely his chaotic mental state. He couldn't stay here any longer. He needed to act.

Unfortunately, for a teenage boy, the ideal way to "act" in this situation was to run straight back to Homeworld as soon as possible. Steven already knew no one would agree to that, so he decided not to bother telling anyone else of his intentions. The house was vacated, so Steven found it extremely easy to simply flee the house once he convinced himself to stand up. No one stood in his way as he dashed out across the beach. Most of the gems and Connie were with Pearl in her room, Amethyst rested in her own room, and Lapis went to parts unknown to train. Steven saw the PeriLuck not far away - he really detested that name now - and was certain he was in the clear to just hijack the ship and be right at White Diamond's doorstep in a few short hours. Then Steven heard the light strumming of a guitar in the distance and smacked his forehead in exasperation. Greg's van wasn't far from the ship at all, and obviously, his father was still awake. There was a bonfire going on right where Steven needed to go in order to board the ship; he wasn't sneaking in under the cover of darkness like this.

He'd just have to hope his father simply wouldn't notice his own son sneaking by and entering the space ship that would only reek of suspect behavior, even to people who usually gave benefit of the doubt easily like Greg. That hope was soon dashed the moment Steven was about to open the hatch.

"Steven…? What're you doing out here, buddy?"

"–Oh… hi, Dad," Steven greeted nervously as he turned around. "Nothin' much."

"Everything going okay? Uh, got through your message and all that?" Greg immediately felt worried about this. He knew there was absolutely no reason to board the ship at this point. It hadn't even been a full 24 hours since they made landfall; there was no way the team was ready this quickly.

"Y-yeah, I did," Steven affirmed tiredly. That was the last thing he wanted to talk about, obviously. "Hey, is it okay if I check out the inside of the ship for a little bit?"

Well, Greg believed Steven had no reason to lie about the message. He could tell his son was very driven to watch it no matter what after that intervention. "I guess it is? No one's said we couldn't go back in; there's just no reason to."

"Peridot made the interior of the ship all by herself, right?" Greg nodded to Steven's question. "I… I never had a chance to really check it out, because of… y'know, everything that happened. Can I please take a look?"

Something sounded off about him. Then again, given the recent chaotic events, Greg couldn't exactly blame his boy for acting strange. He was under the impression this was a much milder way to handle his grief than the ways Greg himself handled it in the past. "Mmm, I guess that makes sense. Go knock yourself out; I know you're not ready to sleep anytime soon."

"Thanks, Dad!" Steven didn't stay outside for a second longer; he was thrilled for once that someone bought into his lie. That didn't stop the pang of guilt for lying to his father in the first place, but Steven knew the truth wouldn't set him free in this occasion. The interior lights switched on automatically, which Steven cringed at. He really didn't want to attract any more attention to himself, but it was already known where most of the gems were, anyway. He only ran the risk of Lapis noticing him, and knowing her, Steven knew she had to be miles and miles away from the temple.

Only… she wasn't. She meant it when she assured Steven she would keep an eye on his father. She was far enough away that she wouldn't have been visible from the ship's position on the beach, and surely enough, as Lapis struggled to control and conserve her water more efficiently, she caught something lighting up from the corner of her eye.

It took only a mere glance to the side for Lapis to see those lights were indeed coming from their ship - and it had no business being activated for any reason at this stage. Lapis nearly lost her concentration (and her water for a moment, which she turned around to just barely recover in time); she broke sight of the ship in order to make sure her water stayed above ground.

That's when Lapis heard a noise in the direction she just looked. She turned her head again just to be certain, and indeed, more lights flickered on as an engine had started up. This time, she dropped her water entirely. "Oh, _come on!_ " For all the effort she went to save that water, Lapis was pissed to lose it seconds later. But she'd have to drop it, anyway: she was going back immediately to see what was going on.

It took roughly 10 seconds for her to land right next to the van; Lapis first wanted to make sure Greg was where she last saw him, and sure enough, he was. Though now he stood, looking terrified.

"Greg, what's going on?! Don't tell me someone just snuck in there under your nose!"

"N-not at all, it's just Steven!" Greg assured the gem. That answer honestly made her even more angry.

"And you let him go up there alone?! What's _wrong_ with you?!" Lapis had no patience for this; she had a pretty good idea what was going on.

"He just wanted to take a good look inside the ship, since Peridot's the one who made it!" Greg explained; he felt the unease and guilt being directed right at him from Lapis. "He didn't say anything about wanting to turn the ship on!"

Lapis growled in frustration. "Of course, he wouldn't tell you that! Your idiot son is trying to take off in it and go straight back to Homeworld!"

"What?! _Why?!_ " It was a fair question; Greg wanted Peridot to be saved as much as any of the others, but he knew this was far from the time and the place to even set a date for trying that again.

"Shut up!" Lapis snapped. "You want to give your son time to figure out how to make this take off?! Come on; we're putting a stop to this!"

She wasn't even going to wait for the man; she just grabbed him and flew over to the hatch and up inside, where she quickly tossed Steven's father aside to the floor while she made a beeline for Steven, who naturally, was up front trying to figure out the buttons for initiating liftoff. Being Steven, he hoped pressing random ones would do the trick. Luckily, he was devoured in misery on the return flight to Earth, so Steven didn't register anything his father or Pearl did with the controls. Had he known how to do it, he could have left the planet before Lapis even had time to realize what was going on.

" **STEVEN!** Hands where I can see them, **now!** "

Steven cried out and did so automatically; he'd been focusing too hard on just hitting random buttons to find the way off-planet, he didn't even hear Lapis or his father enter the ship. "Lapis?! What're you–"

" **I'm asking the questions here.** Turn off the ship."

"But–"

" _ **NOW!"**_

Steven shrunk back, scared out of his mind. " _I don't know how!_ Lapis, I'm just hitting random buttons!"

"Ugh… of course." Lapis grumbled and looked over the control panel… only to just remember she had no idea where the power button was, either. She wasn't trained for this. " _GREG!_ Get up here and turn off this ship!"

Greg knew this was inevitable. "Coming, com- **AAAAH!** " An unexpected head popped out from the hatch, causing Greg to fall back into a seat. " _Garnet, don't do that!_ That's how people get heart attacks, you know!"

"Garnet?!" Lapis turned around to find the Crystal Gems leader boarding the ship.

Steven just buried his face into his hands and moaned in defeat. As if his plan hadn't gone south fast enough already. Everyone else might as well be on board to catch him in the act at this point; there was no way he'd be able to take off now.

"This happened a bit earlier than I anticipated," Garnet observed. Everyone knew she wasn't under the impression that they were returning to Homeworld this soon. "But, it was inevitable. Steven, what did you hope to accomplish if you successfully left Earth tonight?"

"What other reason would there be, Garnet?!" Steven cried back as he teared up.

"I thought I made it clear you aren't going to be the one asking the questions right now," a seething Lapis reiterated. "She's not asking you why you tried to pull this; we already _know_ the reason. Do you take us for idiots, Steven?"

Steven couldn't bring himself to look at any of them. He knew he had no leg to stand on here and giving attitude would only drag this out. "No…"

"I can't believe you'd even lie to me about this," Greg sighed out; he was more on Garnet's level of calm. "There was something nagging at me in the back of my brain the second you said you wanted on the ship; I just didn't think you'd actually try to deceive me."

"Next time, I recommend following your instincts," Garnet advised the adult. "Now, Steven. Answer the question."

Steven felt increasingly stupider as the seconds passed. "… getting Peridot out so White Diamond can't hurt her anymore…"

Everyone else sighed out in reaction. "What?! You know that's what's happening to her right now while we just sit here talking!"

"Yes, Steven, clearly you're the only one who thought about this," Lapis retorted; she sounded calmer, but her tone remained menacing.

"It's unfortunate, Steven, but no amount of racing back to Homeworld tonight will change that for her," Garnet told him. "It's completely out of our hands. The best we can do is return _only_ when we are fully prepared to do so. Peridot might have to endure a great deal of suffering until then, but she was prepared to do that before the last mission's conclusion."

This was what made it so frustrating to negotiate with logic for Steven, sometimes. " _Garnet!_ That's the last thing I need to hear right now! Now I know I gotta go right away!"

"Go ahead," Lapis dared, glaring daggers at Steven. "Touch another button. _I dare you._ See what happens."

Steven glared back at Lapis, determined to call her bluff. He slowly pointed his index finger to another random button; eyes remained on the gem just to see if she would actually do anything to him. Obviously, she wouldn't. He pressed a button.

Moments later, Steven found that finger frozen in a block of ice. "GAH! LAPIS, NO!"

"Do it again and it's gonna be the rest of you on ice." She didn't think Steven would be ballsy enough to actually defy her; this behavior really scared Lapis deep down, but she couldn't let him see that. Threats were all she knew to do at this point, and even that clearly wasn't enough to make Steven behave.

"Okay, okay! Ladies, I can appreciate a Good Cop/Bad Cop routine like the rest of humanity," Greg said as he finally intervened. "But… let me take a swing at this, okay? If a man can't talk his own son down, we can try extreme measures then." He eyed Lapis as he said that; she just rolled her eyes.

"Garnet, I'll let you make the call here," she decided. "He _was_ stupid enough to buy that Steven just wanted to "take a look inside the ship", just so you know."

"I prefer to call it naïve…"

Garnet nodded with no hesitation. "This wouldn't be the first time we've had a problem with Steven that could only be resolved by his father. Lapis, let's give them some privacy. Greg, if a worst-case scenario happens, be sure to scream."

"Sure; you're familiar enough with that sound by now, I'd hope!" Greg wished he was fully joking. Once it was just man-to-man on the ship, he let out a sigh. "Steven, I… I'm surprised at you, but at the same time I'm really not. I'm not condoning your actions, but I understand why you're resorting to this."

Steven let himself look more vulnerable now; his anxiety faded as the gems left him alone with his father. "You think so? Well… I guess you'd understand better than they could," Steven muttered.

"Whatever she said to you, it hit you hard, huh?" Greg knew exactly why Steven behaved like this. It wasn't rocket science. Steven glumly nodded in response. "It somehow got worse than the one I played for you?"

"Makes yours sound like generic platitudes by comparison," Steven murmured. "Connie was right; no amount of time passing is gonna change how Peridot sees me. She had a heck of a lot of restraint during the mission, now that I think back on it…" Three measly instances of kissing – and two were for non-sentimental functional purposes – just felt pedestrian now. That entire time, Peridot held her urges down masterfully. She seemed to be able to will herself into doing anything.

"I'd hope so, given the situation," Greg remarked with a bit of unease. "You might find this hard to believe, but back when they were still working on the ship, Peridot had a few anxiety attacks just like what you're having. She'd tell me how much she just wanted to force the ship to finish up and go to Homeworld for you and the others immediately… but it's not realistic, and even trying that would do more harm than good. Peridot understood that, though. She never went this far."

Steven sighed. He didn't know if this was helping him or not. "After what I've seen, I believe it now… we kinda swapped places, haven't we?"

"Yeah… yeah, you could put it like that." Greg thought it over… yes, that was on point. "Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to frontload you with a bunch of Peridot stuff all at once. We wanted you to at least get out of bed, but you went right to the other end of the spectrum. You're _too_ driven and it's not letting you think anything through. But believe me, we're all worried about what Peridot's going through right now. But Steven, don't be so quick to think she can't handle it. She took the time to make plans for rescuing you, and she didn't know a single thing about your situation; we had no idea if everyone was together or alive and whatnot. She never stopped worrying, but it made Peridot work that much harder in mapping all of our plans out. I'm glad I took the time to talk to her during downtime now that we know she made videos during all this, too. Poor kid needed time to rest her mind just as much as she needed to work."

"I'm just not good at that stuff, Dad," Steven whined. "I can't do any of that! What can I do that'll make this go faster?"

"You're usually so good at looking on the bright side of things," Greg noted. That was a detail that concerned him. It seemed like an expected side-effect of the trauma Steven went through, but it was just hard to hear him talk like that. "You don't need to do everything like she did, Steven. We have a lot more help this time around. When in doubt, think out of the box. It's how I found at least a semi-useful role in Peridot's team, you know."

That's when Steven remembered how Peridot's message to him started. "–Shoot, that's right! Dad, something really weird happened in my video at the start. But she didn't know what it was, and I sure don't, either. She wanted to share that footage with you guys so we could figure it out!"

In turn, this reminded Greg of something. "Sounds like something we should check out as soon as we can. I just remembered Peridot brought up something interesting about you and your mom in mine; it seemed like news to Garnet, because she wanted me to share it, too."

Steven was stunned. He had no idea Peridot would really know anything else about his mother beyond what she's learned second-hand. "D-Dad, do you think she left cryptic stuff in everyone's messages? Like, stuff we should know before we leave again?"

"You know what… it's possible. We don't know what else she went on about with everybody besides you. She could've given us crucial details without even knowing it!" Now Greg wanted this to happen. "See, Steven? You're helping already. I wouldn't have thought to do this on my own. Let me just–" He learned over, covered Steven's eyes with one hand while reaching over to turn the power off. "Sorry, Schtu-ball. You broke the unspoken contract of trust between father and son. You're gonna have to earn that back, and I'm not taking any chances now. Just be glad we caught you when we did; you probably would've wrecked this ship… and I don't wanna think how much extra time that'd add to our preparations."

Steven hadn't thought of that. The fact that he had no idea how to pilot vessels like this flew over his head in the heat of the moment. It was a very humbling for him. "I… I understand. I'm sorry, Dad. I just… I just couldn't help it. I couldn't stay still."

Greg chuckled at that after uncovering Steven's eyes. "Hey, you're preaching to the choir, here. Love makes you do stupid things; it's a fact of life, y'know. I'm sure this won't be the last time you'll try and pull a fast one on your old man if it'll make the one you love happy."

"I'm gonna make an effort not to," Steven insisted. "You're right that I need to make this up to everybody. Peridot would be so mad if I messed her ship up…"

"Well… yeah." Greg couldn't offer a platitude there; he's witnessed how badly Peridot's temper could flare up. "But as much as she loves you, I doubt she'd hold a grudge over you for long."

Greg pulled Steven up and guided him to the hatch.

"Well… I am the one who taught her that it was bad to hold a grudge," Steven noted. "I'm trying to make sure she and Lapis can make amends after this."

"It may have happened already," Greg said thoughtfully. "We'll see eventually. C'mon, I'll let Garnet know we need to arrange a team meeting ASAP."

"Thanks again, Dad."

* * *

A meeting was called to order, and the Crystal Gems quickly assembled into a circle out on the beach. The house unfortunately wasn't made to hold so many people at once, and Garnet insisted they formally remain close to each other as they engage in their discussion.

"I'll admit my input's gonna be minor, but I'm surprised I learned about this from Peridot before the rest of you," Greg stated. "She had a very clear-cut explanation for why things are the way they are: no two identical gems, same code and cut and whatever, can exist at the same time. She said something like that happening would be a paradox, and if the two gems ever made physical contact, it would… uh… obliterate the universe."

This shook everyone a bit, though it was obvious they'd never be able to cause such a thing. "So… that's the long and short for why Rose and Steven can't co-exist. It doesn't make me feel any better about all that, but… it feels like some real closure."

"Hm… I've heard of the unspoken law that no two gems will ever be the same," Garnet noted. "I did not realize the consequence of making the impossible… possible. That's helpful to know; White Diamond could very well be capable of making it happen."

"And as off-kilter as she is, I wouldn't put it past her to try," Pearl added. "Thank you for sharing that, Greg."

Greg shrugged. "Thank Peridot for telling me, really."

Steven leaned forward, wanting to take his turn. "I have something important to show everybody. I've got footage and everything… and I think I can explain it."

"Then please hand me your phone, Steven," Pearl insisted. "I'll use a prism to enlarge the screen so everyone can see it at once." The boy complied without hesitation, and Pearl quickly set up the screen that hovered in the middle of the circle. "Peridot's message, hm… where am I skipping to, Steven?"

"It's actually right at the start," Steven said before looking to Lapis. "Remember, you asked me to tell you how Peri was doing for my video since her voice was almost gone at the end of yours?"

"Oh…! Right, right," Lapis had forgotten after all the rage she went through in frustration with Steven, but Greg was able to calm it down once he explained the details. To some degree, Lapis understood those actions. "It looks like your video is longer than anyone else's… so let's see how she pulled this off."

Pearl played the footage, and everyone witnessed a whispering Peridot being driven to desperation. The glow of the gemstone on Peridot's forehead caught everyone's attention immediately. "I wanna know if this is a normal thing," Steven insisted. "Because I really feel like it isn't."

"I've never seen Peridot's gem glow like that, to be honest," Pearl noted. "I don't think it's unheard of to happen when meditating, but…."

"She wasn't meditating," Steven corrected. "She was praying. She begged for help; I heard it!"

Connie was dumbstruck by this comment. "What do you mean, you _heard_ it? She's not saying anything."

"I suspect Steven's abilities have branched out significantly," Garnet hypothesized. "Steven, you let out waves of pink energy before you woke up earlier. Do you feel something burning up internally?"

"I've _been_ feeling like that since I went to bed. But what I did… I think that was beyond just reading Peridot's thoughts. Those were feelings I heard. Her real feelings." Steven looked to the others. "What she's doing right now is the only thing she can think of doing, and she's never even done it before."

"You… you what?" Pearl was dumbfounded. "Steven, that makes sense in real time, but… this is all prerecorded."

Steven eyed his Peri Patrol friends. "I can prove it. Keep rolling the footage until she can talk again."

And so it continued. The entire time, the gem never ceased its glowing. Steven remembered to ask about something during the moment the light became near-blinding. "Did anyone else catch that just now?"

"S-something flickered for a split second," Lapis noted.

"Nothin' too distinct, though," Bismuth muttered. "This could be anything. Might be the equipment, or it might be a premonition."

"Or both," Greg added. "You're saying her gem never shined like this before, huh?"

"Not with me," Steven affirmed.

"Pearl and I have seen nothing like this before," Garnet replied. "Amethyst, you spend a lot of time with Peridot. Is this familiar to you? Or you, Lapis?"

Both shook their heads in unison.

"This is new to me, too…"

"Please. P-Dot would've been bragging about this _forever_ if I saw it glow like this."

"Keep rolling," Steven reminded Pearl. "You'll see it get even weirder…"

Then they hit the part where Peridot opened her eyes. Like last time, Steven could see the gem feed off of aura that came from her friends. It was obvious that only he could see it; no one else commented on it When the group heard Peridot speak, they were stunned with disbelief. To them, it just came out of nowhere.

"… So, it is Mom's powers," Steven realized. "None of you saw what really happened. You didn't see Peridot borrowing energy from her team.

"W-wait, what?" Greg was flabbergasted. "I think at least one of us would've… y'know, _felt_ that!"

"I didn't feel a thing," Lapis reported. "I think Steven needs to be more specific."

Steven smirked; he knew exactly how to convince them. "Tell me if "taking care of Bismuth" means anything to you three."

"Wha–?!" Now Bismuth got flustered. "That's our– how did you know that?!" She looked to Steven's father. "Well, Greg?!"

Greg held his hands up in self-defense. "I swear I didn't tell him about that! And if I didn't, I can't imagine Lapis did, either!"

"Well, you'd be correct," Lapis confirmed; unnerved but still more stable than her teammates. "Peridot only saw us at the tail end, and she looked so disinterested in it, I feel like that's not something she would have wasted time on with Steven."

"That's right. She didn't tell me, either. So, if no one of the Peri Patrol told anyone about a specific song they sang – and you know I didn't guess at random, because who would've guessed it would have a Bismuth pun? – then how do you think I learned about it?" Steven felt bold now. "Do you guys believe me now?"

Bismuth didn't know what to make of this… but she conceded. "… I, I think we _have_ to believe you."

Lapis and Greg just nodded in agreement; this just seemed insane to both of them.

"Good: I'll tell you what I saw." Steven was relieved he could finally share this and be taken seriously. "Like I said before, I could read Peri's feelings. She was so desperate and calling for help. She didn't know who to call for. Then I saw three different-colored auras a little further behind her. I heard music… and once I heard the "Bismuth" part, I knew it had to be her crew. I recognized Dad's guitar, too. Then I finally saw you all there singing together, still with that aura. I saw all three of your auras rise up – or just a bit of it, I guess – and it started flowing out of you guys and into Peri's gemstone. It glowed brighter the more she took in. But you can tell… that Peridot had no idea this was even going on. She hasn't even moved! Once it got super bright, everything washed away, and I realized none of that was really going on in the video. And all of a sudden, Peri can talk. You know that's no coincidence."

Lapis tried her best to absorb this information, but so much of it didn't make sense to her. "Steven, I really didn't feel anything. B-but she came out of the chamber sounding better than she did at the end of my video… and she couldn't have done anything to fix it while she kept herself in that tube! It doesn't make sense."

"I didn't feel the slightest bit dizzy or tired," Greg confessed. "Whatever she siphoned off from us, it wasn't energy."

"Then what could it have been?" Bismuth wondered. "How can she do that without us noticing…?"

"The better question is, how can Peridot do that _at all?_ " Pearl cut in. "She has metal powers now, sure, but that couldn't have cured her voice."

Steven shook his head. "I can't tell you exactly what it is; I don't really know. And I think I even felt it through her for a couple of seconds. It was amazing… but I can't define it." He just remembered one point he wanted to make clear. "B-but you all need to know this: it was just temporary. That light in her gemstone gets weaker the closer to the end the message gets, and once it goes, she's back to how she was before. So Dad, Bismuth, Lapis? Whatever she took from you… it was just a loan, and she returned it."

Lapis smashed her face into her palm. "That just makes this _more_ confusing!"

Pearl looked to Garnet. "You've barely said anything… is this really new to you, too?"

Garnet nodded stiffly. "I thought I'd seen all there is to see at this stage in my life… but this is… this is unique. Peridot clearly emerged as an enhanced gem."

"That's funny, because P-Dot in my message confessed she was as defective as me," Amethyst said as she casually entered the conversation. "Garnet, Era 2 Homeworlds literally don't have the stuff to be much of anything. I don't think they had anything they could "enhance" her with. But, hey. Show of hands: who got Peri talking about her metal powers and mentioning that _no other Peridot_ in recorded history ever got them?"

Steven raised his hand. "I wonder if there's anything she _didn't_ tell me, geez…"

Lapis followed suit, rolling her eyes. "And she went on the defective tirade as a bonus."

Connie looked up thoughtfully. "She mentioned her powers to me, but not the fact they're exclusive to her."

Despite a few murmurs, no one else raised their hand.

"Dare I say, it looks like we found a way to figure out who Peri's favorite people are," Bismuth observed with a laugh. That elicited laughs from everyone else – though with Steven and Lapis, it was more like nervous chuckling.

"Alright, so I'm gonna throw another one," Amethyst announced. "Who got Peri sayin' she's defective 'cause she's tinier than Era 2s were set to be?"

Steven raised his hand again. "Well, at least she said it's the reason why I first said she was so cute when I first saw her without the limb enhancers… she _hated_ that!"

Lapis didn't raise her hand, nor did anyone else. "I guess she figured I don't care about her size at all. And she'd be right about that."

Amethyst nodded. "Got it, got it… okay, one more: raise your hand if P-Dot mentioned she reportedly had defective eyes but never found any proof of that."

 _No one_ raised their hand…

"Whoa." Amethyst "Not even you, Ste-man?"

Steven shrugged. "I'm just as surprised as you… but why does that remind me of something… that I know but she didn't tell me?"

Garnet loudly gasped all of a sudden, startling everyone.

"Wh-what, Garnet?!" Amethyst didn't "Did she actually tell you and you just remembered?"

Garnet didn't bother answering the question. "Steven, the last time we saw Peridot... her eyes!"

"That's it!" Steven snapped his fingers. "She never takes that visor off, so how were we to know she's got a blue eye and a hazel eye?"

Certain Crystal gems froze at that remark. Most notably Pearl and Lapis.

"A-are you serious…?" Pearl asked in a frightened tone; she looked jittery. "G-Garnet, is that really what you saw?!"

Garnet nodded. "Heterochromia. I have it, but I am a fusion… it's not uncommon for heterochromia to happen with certain fusions. But Ruby does not possess that trait, and… I shouldn't have to explain Sapphire. For unfused gems, heterochromia is…"

"A curse, I've heard," Lapis cut in with a menacing tone. "It's not something that happens to a gem naturally. Something about bad injector fluid…"

"Stretching it at bit, but not too far off that mark," Pearl commended. "It's not necessarily that it's gone "bad", but rather… tampered with. This has only happened to a handful of gems in Era 1 by my recollection. No one knows how exactly it's tampered or why… or who the culprit is. The gems who emerge with heterochromia are basically… science experiments. They are closely monitored, which is why we know how rare they are. Not many reports exist."

Bismuth was at a loss for words until now. "W-wait, she's an Era 2, remember? Maybe they made it natural for Era 2s somehow?"

"The fact that any Era 2 could have heterochromia at all is madness," Garnet insisted. "Era 2s by default are cheaply made and inferior by design. Why would anyone bother experimenting on them?"

"Because they can? Because they feel like it?" Lapis was still embittered. "Why was this ever a thing to begin with? What's the justification to it?"

"Pearl, have you seen details on any of these cases?" Connie asked. "Like if there was a difference between them and a natural equivalent… did the heterochromatic gems behave or perform exceptionally well or really, really bad?"

Pearl looked thoughtful as she tried to recall cases from the distant past. "There was that one very prolific Hessonite commander… they say Yellow Diamond gifted her with a very powerful and devastating weapon. -Ah, yes. She was ultimately defeated by Rose, but not before she managed to shatter a good number of our own."

"I know of a few legends about a very aggressive Tanzanite," Lapis added. "Very famous for colonizing a dozen planets in just three Homeworld cycles. They called her the "Scourge of the Organics", as she'd take it upon herself to wipe out all living life on said planets before implementing the Kindergartens. But after that much indulgence in her bloodlust, Tanzanite was no longer able to tell friend from foe and started sabotaging the very same Kindergartens she started. One planet became entirely quarantined because her actions caused widespread corruption. Thankfully, she was on that planet at the time, so I believe Blue Diamond had the entire planet obliterated. Nothing could be salvaged, after all. Legends say Tanzanite was put down with great reluctance by the Diamonds, because up to that point, she had become a prime candidate for… something. It differs depending on which gem tells you the story, but every one I've ever met has sworn on their own stone that Tanzanite really existed."

"Hm, that reminds me of Dolomite," Bismuth responded. "Only she was more of an up-and-coming sentinel. Very, very prolific in the defensive arts. She was originally posted to one of the Diamonds, but her aptitude for tanking hits made her sought after on the battlefield. It's kind of a tragic tale, actually. Dolomite could guard the Diamond palaces perfectly, but out on the battlefield, she couldn't take the pressure… and her body overloaded to the point where she was shattered by inadvertent self-destruction. The radius of the blast took out a good number of her fellow soldiers as well."

None of these stories sat well with the ones who had none to tell.

"I'm starting to notice a recurring theme," Connie said carefully. "Capable of massive destruction on all three counts… but one gave into insanity and slaughtered indiscriminately, and another was so unstable despite a good track record that her own shattering took several other lives. Whatever was done to these heterochromatic gems… it made them stronger than the norm, right?"

"Correct," Garnet confirmed. "At least in which area they best specialized in. All the more nonsensical that Peridot has the same condition."

"Maybe it wasn't just physical strength or durability they wanted," Amethyst suggested. "Maybe they wanted the smartest gems, too. Any records like that you know off the top of your head?"

Pearl nodded. "I do believe there were a few gems who specialized in intelligence or dexterity who shared the trait. For one that comes to mind immediately, there's Fluorite… she possessed great intellect and she had a special power to commune with the shattered; she could pry invaluable information from these victims who didn't live long enough to tell their tales. Unfortunately, she was a bit clingy towards particular gems; more specifically, another Fluorite who emerged from the same facet and rumored to even be part of the same series, so they were referred to as "the twins" due to their closeness. But it became rather problematic as the heterochromatic Fluorite was forced to drift apart from her twin as her abilities blossomed, as the Diamonds demanded her time more and more often. Records stated Fluorite never got over the separation, and when she communed successfully with a shattered gem only to find it was her beloved Fluorite twin she had the remains of… she completely lost her mind. They say she had the most haunting, wicked laughter that echoed across every area in the Homeworld metropolis while she slaughtered every gem in her path, demanding them to repent."

Garnet cringed. "I've heard of that one. Even the Diamonds had difficulty in dispatching her. Her abilities had evolved to a point where she could shatter a gem by merely touching them. Any guard they sent out to dispose of her… they ultimately "repented" for a sin they did not commit."

"One of few, and possibly the first gem in Homeworld history to require direct intervention from the Diamonds in order to be taken out," Bismuth continued. "And even that was tricky, because Blue Diamond's emotion-based powers were completely ineffectual to a Fluorite driven by loss, vengeance, and madness who could commune with the shattered."

"And she still made use of those powers even after she broke down," Lapis recounted. "Her abilities evolved further where she could _conjure_ spirits of the shattered and have them do her bidding. Fluorite was completely untouchable for a long time; it was easier for her to create a massive army of the dead than it was for the Diamonds to gather up their living and able-bodied gems to ensure the entire planet didn't get overtaken by these vengeful spirits. Fluorite was clever enough to manipulate these spirits, as so many had been shattered by Blue or Yellow personally, or under their direct orders, for unjust reasons. She seemed nigh on invincible… and unfortunately, it was never made clear which Diamond finally shattered Fluorite and how."

"It was assumed to be Yellow due to Blue's powers not working on her _or_ her shattered army," Pearl said as she took over again. She didn't expect to have the story hijacked from her by her teammates. "But there are numerous reports that suggest Fluorite's mental prowess granted her a psychic shield to protect her from Yellow's attacks. I'm inclined to believe that to be the case; otherwise this fight wouldn't have dragged out as long as it did. This did lead to the event known as the Lone Twin Massacre… where a war was waged on Homeworld by a single gem and her army of vengeful spirits. Unlike some of these previous tales, this one is indisputably true."

Steven, Connie, Greg, and Amethyst were rendered silent and wide-eyed. None of them were prepared to hear something like this.

"I am so sorry I brought up the smartness factor," Amethyst finally murmured. "That's legit the most terrifying thing I've ever heard."

"And I hate to even suggest the possibility," Connie grumbled. "But do you think… maybe it was neither Diamond who slayed Fluorite? This sounds like something that would force White Diamond to take action."

And in turn, Pearl, Garnet, Lapis, and Bismuth were rendered quiet for the moment; apparently none of them took this into consideration.

"Hm… didn't Peri tell us that it was a bad thing to even _talk_ about White Diamond for any reason on Homeworld?" Amethyst recalled. "That sounds like the most obvious reason why no version of this story includes her, because I can tell none of you ever thought about this being the case before."

"I'm surprised we just got schooled in Homeworld history by a couple of kids," Bismuth said with a weary smile. "Gah, that's the only outcome that makes sense!"

Pearl looked very disturbed as she took this in. "I… I can't find a way to discount it as a possibility. Garnet…?"

Garnet sighed and adjusted her shades. "I think Connie and Amethyst are on the right track. It could have been this historical event that led to White Diamond's name becoming taboo on Homeworld. Even with a victory, that incident is a large black mark on the Diamond Authority's credibility. It took hundreds of years for Homeworld to recoup their losses and grow as an empire again. It's been said up to 85% of Homeworld's total population was wiped out because of the Lone Twin Massacre. Up-and-coming colony planets took much longer to develop due to this."

Steven hated every bit of this. He could only offer one question… "How did Fluorite's twin die?"

The group went quiet again.

"You guys said she was acting out of vengeance," Steven told them. "And she took all of her grief out on Homeworld; not some invader, or a resistance… definitely not a rebellion."

"I automatically assumed the Diamonds were the ones behind her death," Connie admitted. "So that doesn't clear up how the twin died, but… it sounds like it's made clear which group was responsible for her death."

Amethyst nodded. "Yup; already came up with like, ten reasons the Diamonds would pull something like this myself."

"Steven… why is it this detail out of everything else that has you so bothered?" Pearl asked in earnest. She knew it would be hard telling this story with him present, but it was necessary.

"I just remembered something Peridot told me," he said; eyes cast down to the sand. "That on Homeworld, you don't have friends. You either have bosses you aim to please, or competition that you take out by any means necessary to gain favor with your bosses. It sounds like… Fluorite and her twin were really good friends."

Lapis sighed. "Sounds about right. Survival of the fittest on Homeworld boils down to how fast and how willing you are at knifing your colleague in the back to ascend the ranks. That's how it was for the working class, anyway. Can't imagine it was much better for the nobility."

"Sapphire can attest to nobility often being subject to cutthroat tactics," Garnet supplied. "It was just done more discretely to maintain appearances. Fluorites were actually on par with her kind in terms of societal level. Following this infamous incident, however… they were collectively made into social pariahs. Not many of them survived the slaughter, and even fewer survived after the fact."

"So, the fact that Fluorite had such a close friend in the first place doomed them both in the end," Steven acknowledged. "It's just... sad, you know? I hoped that Peridot was exaggerating…"

"Not this time, kiddo," Lapis said apologetically. "Speaking of social pariahs, though… I'm pretty sure that incident did the future gems with heterochromia no favors in terms of how the public viewed them."

Garnet sighed. "Yes, unfortunately. Stories like these made future gems with the condition outcasts, largely. Although I feel that based on these past instances, Peridot should have been much more closely monitored by Yellow Diamond. Definitely more valued… never once did she put any stock in Peridot's potential. She cared nothing of her thoughts. And given her areas where she is strongest, I feel Peridot would have been assigned on higher-profile missions. So, this is a bizarre case… she's been treated just like any other Peridot her whole life."

"Um… just throwing it out there, maybe they never found out she has it?" All eyes were on Greg. "Heh, hi. I've been paying attention, I _swear_."

"That's one heck of an oversight," Bismuth noted. "Usually everyone's gemetic data is on record upon emergence. I mean, it's sounding like Greg might be right. You've all been with her how long and never saw her without that visor?"

"Too long," Pearl responded. "Why would they not check each individual for defects? I thought that's how it worked."

Amethyst raised a hand and waved it. "There was a report! I mentioned it earlier, remember? All Peri said is she found a single report that mentioned her eyes were defective, but that's all she ever found. She said she dismissed it since her eyesight was never bad, and there's nothing else noteworthy about her eyes. I feel like if they knew about her eye colors, it would've been outright said on the report."

Connie looked to Amethyst, wide-eyed. "From how you're phrasing it, Amethyst, it sounds like even Peridot didn't know about her eyes."

A brief moment of silence passed by.

"It's coming together," Garnet realized. "I said earlier how absurd it was that any Peridot would have this condition; especially an Era 2. No one would have any reason to believe a Peridot would ever be experimented on, because it doesn't make sense! They would sooner disregard it as a glitch in the system than bother to check!"

"How about that…" Lapis was astonished. "Peridot was hiding in plain sight this entire time, and she didn't even know she was hiding. You know, that might have just saved her life. There's no telling what they'd really have her do if they knew. That's one less thing to worry about–"

" **AAAAHH!** NO IT ISN'T!"

Everyone nearly jumped out of their seats when Steven cried out; he sounded _panicked_.

Lapis regarded the boy with uncertainty. "You were talking to me, right? Why are you saying–"

"Sh-she doesn't have that protection anymore!" Steven realized. "Her visor's in pieces now! Me and Garnet, we saw what her eyes were really like! Guess who else is gonna know right now as we speak?!"

Garnet cursed under her breath. "White Diamond… the absolute last who should ever learn of something like this. She not only knows… but she has all the time in the world and the unlimited means to exploit that. So, it may not even be safe to approach Peridot when we arrive…" She didn't need to look; she knew she was breaking Steven's heart. "Starting tomorrow, we need to pick up the pace in our preparations. Does anyone else have anything to share that might be helpful?"

"I have a feeling I'm the only one she talked about with on the Diamonds being brittle," Pearl spoke up. "It sounds good in theory, but I'm not sure why she'd–"

"I KNOW!"

"Goodness, Steven…" Pearl had no idea what to make of Steven's behavior tonight. "Then explain it, please. And try to be calm about it, okay? You've been through enough tonight."

"I-I know what she's talking about because I saw her put it to use in our last battle," Steven hastily explained. "Pearl, she was probably trying to drop you the hint in case she didn't get to use it. I didn't think she'd plan this far ahead, but… but that was how she stunned Yellow Diamond in the terminal! A hammer blow, pow! Right in the stone! And it cracked her!"

Now Connie had a revelation. "A hammer… Steven, do you mean THIS hammer?" She pulled out the one Peridot had given her mere minutes after doing what Steven had just described.

"Y-yeah, yeah! That one! I remember it looked weird." Even Steven found this too coincidental for his liking. "So that's what happened to it. Because you didn't have your sword anymore…"

"So, it's more than just a theory," Pearl realized. "She's already proved that it works. That's fantastic, but I have a feeling it won't be that easy to take out White Diamond. Still… it's definitely something to keep in mind for a strategy of a larger scale."

Garnet nodded in agreement. "Pearl, how's the research for a cure going?"

Pearl winced at the question. "We hit a bit of a snag…"

"In order to get a sample out of a pallid, we gotta let it out and let it reform," Bismuth explained. "Problem being… it is what it is, still. Meaning it might still function as White Diamond's extra set of eyes, and she'll see where we are. We're gonna have to get creative for trappin' that thing without risking it blowing our cover."

"I suggest we blind it somehow. White Diamond won't be able to use the body if she can't see," Connie spoke up. "It's risky, but I thought if we kept the room dark and kept close by enough, we can quickly get the sample we need and poof it again before it even knows what's going on."

Garnet pointed to Connie. "Excellent plan. Act on it as soon as you can." She turned to Pearl again. "I'm demanding much from you, but I must ask if you at least have a proper set up for your experiments. You don't need to be present for the capturing of the sample, and if the instructions are easy enough to follow, you can have someone else start the procedure and only call in when your expertise is needed."

"Well, I certainly have a full lab set up and ready to go… I suppose I can entrust the manual duties to others since I imagine it'll take some time before we come across something only I can identify. But what else did you have in mind, Garnet?" Pearl was surprised her leader had multiple roles in mind for her.

"Without Peridot, you're the only gem we have now who can look over the ship and possibly improve upon the design and its inner workings," Garnet mentioned. "She and Bismuth did a phenomenal job for the short time they spent making the original, but every second we can spare may make all the difference in the world down the road. So Bismuth, I would like you to show Pearl the specs Peridot gave you and give her assistance if Pearl finds an aspect of the ship that can be improved upon."

Bismuth smirked and nodded to her leader. "You got it, boss. Peri only had the patience for a couple of quality checks once we finished up, but I get what you're saying. I got a feeling Pearl can at least shave down our travel time a good amount with the right adjustments."

"I'd be more than happy to take a chance to improve on something _she_ made," Pearl said slyly. "Cutting down travel time is the main priority, but I have a feeling we'll have a much more challenging time leaving Homeworld by ship the next time around as well. Even more reason to see how far I can increase the ship's propulsion capabilities and handling within a reasonable time frame. That might mean making a few additional parts for the ship, if you're up to the task, Bismuth. I honestly couldn't tell that was your first-ever ship."

"Glad I've got a talent for that like I did for makin' everything else," Bismuth replied. "But yeah; there's still a _lot_ of scrap on the beach we didn't make use of even after stripping the Diamonds' ships. Gimme some guidelines for that, and I'll have whatever you need up and ready in a jiffy."

Garnet seemed satisfied with this. "There's one more task I have in mind that applies to most of you to some degree, but consider it secondary to your other assigned jobs. Pearl and Bismuth will largely be tied up. I will go around this circle from the right of me and ask each of you what you intend to do until we're ready to launch this mission." Pearl was to her right, but as she had already been spoken for, Garnet pointed to Amethyst. "Amethyst, is there anything specific you intend to do in the meantime?"

"G, I think I earned my "I pitched in" stars from tonight alone," she said smugly. "It was my idea that got Steven outta his funk, and if I didn't bring up that eye defect thing, none of us would know about that _really critical detail_ on how Peri might be used as a weapon against us by White-Di that's kicking our butts into gear now. I can make food runs for our human peeps or help people train, y'know. Whatever."

Amethyst actually had a very good point. She worked tirelessly throughout the previous day on the project that pulled Steven back together, and Garnet didn't know for sure if she would have stumbled on the heterochromia threat on her own until it was too late to prepare for it or not.

"Fair enough," Garnet decided. "Don't hesitate to come to me if you think of anything else, then. I know how much you care for her… you've done very well tonight, Amethyst." She looked to the right of Amethyst. "Connie, what do you have in mind?"

"Well, Bismuth did make me a new sword and I haven't gotten to try it out yet," Connie said with a smirk. "Normally I train with Pearl, but if she's gonna be busy, I'm open to other partners. It's important I get a good feel for my new sword; I'm sure it won't handle exactly like Rose's. Barring that, I'm willing to help out with the pallid experiments. I'm volunteering for being the one to re-poof it once we get the sample we need, and if Pearl can give me a quick run-down, I'll try and run that operation to the best of my ability without the need to bother her."

Pearl was proud of how seriously her student took this situation, and already had multiple plans ahead for the work to be done. "I'd be happy to give you a quick lesson on how we're going to test a pallid sample," she said. "You never take long to catch on to anything else I teach you, so I'm sure this will be a simple process."

"Very good." Garnet was proud of Connie as well. Her smile disappeared when she looked to the right of the girl… where Steven sat, looking extremely worried and depressed. "Steven… it hurts to even ask you so casually. But…"

"I think I'm gonna need some time to figure out what I can do with Mom's powers now," he said lowly. "We can do without the surprises… and if I can get a handle on them, maybe it'll be a huge help for the team. I have no idea why I can pick up feelings from prerecorded footage, or why I can see this aura stuff so clearly. I'm gonna need some guidance, but…"

"I can help you with that," Garnet offered. "Some sessions of meditation should clear up many of your concerns. Steven, you most of all will need some therapeutic rehabilitation. We understand this is hurting you more than anyone else, so let us help you."

Steven looked up to the fusion and managed a small smile. "I'd like that… thanks."

"Ste-man's sorta in my boat too," Amethyst pointed out. "He's been Mister Peri-Exposition tonight. We gotta make sure our man's at 100% before we head back out there." Once again, Amethyst wasn't wrong.

"Thanks, Amethyst. I just… I just don't want Peridot to become another Fluorite, y'know?"

Just then, Bismuth's features hardened; she just remembered something crucial that was relevant to what Steven had just said. She held it down and kept quiet, though. But she had something to say and was determined to tell the gems she trusted the most to handle her revelation in a mature manner… relatively soon.

"We'll be sure it never comes to that," Garnet assured. To the right of Steven was… his father. "Ah, Greg. Speaking of therapy, it seems you did play a large role in Peridot maintaining her stability for the first phase of your mission. You have more potential patients this time around; can you handle that?"

"Phew… I was this ready to hear a "we've got nothing for you". So glad I'm wrong!" Greg laughed out with unease. "Yeah, like Amethyst said, you're gonna have to head into this with no doubts about yourself. So, you can vent at me all you want. I'll even take up being a bard and provide the music you all can work with."

Connie smiled at that. "Many studies show greater productivity if you have music to listen to while you're working. I like that idea."

That all sat with Garnet well enough. The leader tilted her focus to the right again. "Lapis. I've been told you have undergone intensive training, leaning how to fight with limited amounts of water and maintaining your supply as best you can."

Lapis sighed and nodded to that. "Yeah… I haven't had a lot of time, and even now I've not gotten very far into it. It's just… so foreign to me. And I know there's an ocean right beside me… it's so annoying!"

"Sounds like you need a training partner, then," Amethyst noted. "I'm game, Laps. How about you, Connie?"

"You would be an interesting opponent to train with," Connie admitted. "I'll take you up on that."

That made Lapis smile. "That's a relief… I can finally get some feedback on where I'm screwing up. Oh, and during downtime, I'll volunteer for the search for the cure. What Pearl set up looked like it would involve a lot of fluid, so I think I can help in that regard. Bismuth, let me know if you're making new pieces to the ship so I can cool the parts."

Bismuth gave her a thumbs-up. "Will do!"

Next to Lapis was Bismuth… and her tasks were already set in place. Still, Garnet felt not all sat well with her old friend. "Bismuth, I imagine you'll have your hands full most of the time…"

"Probably," Bismuth casually admitted. "But if I got the time, I'd be more than happy to train with Connie and Lapis, too."

Bismuth's tone betrayed what Garnet could see inside her; this was clearly a matter to be dealt with in private. "Overachieving as always, Bismuth. As for myself, I will help to the best of my ability with all of your tasks, but one thing I must mention that applies to most of you… should we ever get separated at any point on Homeworld, or if we're overpowered, we may need to resort to fusion. And I'm aware a few of you might be apprehensive about that."

That definitely earned a cringe from Lapis.

"I want to consult with each of you, save for Greg, on your current fusions, as well as fusions we have… yet to see. I will guide you along the way, but I'll leave it up to you whether or not you'll make use of that privilege." Garnet did well to sound neutral on the subject.

She knew Lapis had a bad history with it, and Bismuth had never experienced it. The fact that Connie could fuse with anyone at all was still an unprecedented phenomenon that still wasn't that well understood. Still, so far it had only been with Steven. Garnet wasn't sure how much of a role Steven's human side had in the existence of Stevonnie, but it was at least worth trying to figure out what limits were truly on the girl. And Steven… he so far had only ever fused with Connie and Amethyst. There were many potential fusions for him that remained to be seen; same can be said for newcomers Lapis and Bismuth.

Considering who they were going up against, Garnet was dead certain _some_ fusion would be necessary to even stand a chance of surviving.

"If no one has anything else to add, let's conclude this meeting and get to work," Garnet announced as she stood. Upon receiving no response once everyone was back on their feet, they nodded to each other in unison and went their separate ways.

Except… once enough distance was made by most of the others, Bismuth made sure take hold of Pearl and Garnet by the wrists and looked behind her where Greg was heading.

"Hey, Greg," Bismuth gently called out. "Come back over here a second. There's something I gotta share with the adults of this group… or at least, ones I know are mature enough to handle this info and keep what I'm about to say for yourselves. This is something I can't tell everyone."

Greg wandered back over. Pearl looked confused but stayed put. Garnet looked to Bismuth knowingly.

"I could tell you had something on your mind," Garnet told Bismuth. "Of dire importance. Please, share with us."

Bismuth nodded. "I just remembered something when Steven mentioned Fluorite a minute ago; we haven't really gotten into how Peridot, given what we know she is now, might not come out of this alive after all. None of the reports on the known heterochromatics have a happy ending, now do they?"

This shook Pearl a bit. "Goodness, you're right. And in White Diamond's hands, we could have another Fluorite-level menace to greet us on Homeworld. We've already seen that Peridot clearly possesses some kind of power beyond her ability to manipulate metal. So, it's probable that even an Era 2 Peridot could prove to be dangerous and hard to beat… or pacify."

"I think I understand now," Garnet said. "Because Peridot specializes in intelligence and dexterity, she could easily go the Fluorite route to her downfall. And you had a grim message to share much earlier, Bismuth…"

Bismuth closed her eyes and sighed. "Yeah, I just remembered it. And I thought… it's comin' together now. I still don' t think Peri even knows about her condition, but she was dead certain she wouldn't be herself ever again if we end up losing Steven. That's… more or less what happened to Fluorite; that was her breaking point."

"She was so sure she'd be a danger to others around her if Steven died," Pearl added. "And that's… exactly what Fluorite became. So if she's asking us to shatter her if it comes to that…"

"… We may actually have to end her life," Garnet finished. "It's good you brought this up, Bismuth. And you're right; none of the others need to know about this right now. They need to focus on making sure we don't get to this point in the first place."

Greg was not handling this too well. "Bismuth, why the heck did you bring me in for this?!"

"Because, Mister Therapist, it's something you're gonna have to keep in mind if Steven brings it up to you. There's a good chance the others will, too," Bismuth explained. "Believe me, it's tearing my heart up inside just thinkin' about this being a possibility, but it's not gonna do us any good to ignore it."

"I-I guess you're right," Greg admitted. "And I've got no problem keeping this to myself. It's just… now it feels like it's gonna be a lot harder to pull this off without breaking somebody's heart."

Pearl was resolute. "Greg, we'll make sure it won't come to that. But no matter how we end up tying up this loose end… life's never going to be the same; I'm sure of it."

"And that can be a good thing, or a bad thing," Garnet added. "So thank you, Bismuth. Let this make us all strive to work as hard as we can, so we'll know we'll be ready for anything when we get to Homeworld."

Pearl lingered behind a bit as the others broke apart to start their tasks. "I have a feeling…" she said nervously to herself. "That _no one_ is ready for White Diamond's Homeworld…"

* * *

And so, everyone worked hard in their own way. Unsurprisingly, Steven's healing saliva proved to be a vital ingredient for vaccinating the others to resist pallidification, although it failed as a cure for those already infected.

With people to train with, Lapis' skill with limited water skyrocketed, which in turn helped Connie excel in getting used to using her new sword. She even took some time to practice a few hammer techniques; Connie insisted on keeping it as it was useful as a backup weapon if she were to lose her sword for any reason, and it just felt right to use it to rescue Peridot.

Pearl and Bismuth indeed found various ways to enhance the PeriLuck – which Steven insisted needed to be scrapped for another name. It just triggered him every time he heard it, and no one could blame him. The ship's name was officially an ironic one, and a new name would be decided at a later date. Beyond that, Pearl was able to upgrade much more of the ship than she anticipated, and as the days passed, it resembled more and more a space ship that wasn't a rush and done on the cheap. It became much more decorated externally for what was required to improve its functions.

Greg was… well, Greg. Heart of the new half of the team, he served that role just as well for his son's side of the team. Given Steven's mental state as of late, Greg really was needed to fill his son's shoes in the wholesome human factor that helped this group gel. With his help, Lapis and Bismuth (as well as himself) were fully integrated with the others. There would always be a Peri Patrol, and unsurprisingly they stuck by each other whenever the group had to congregate, but there was a true feeling of unity with these 8 individuals.

Similarly, Amethyst was Amethyst. She helped with some odd jobs and assisted with projects, but mostly she trained with Lapis and Connie or joked around with Greg while going out for food. Given what Amethyst contributed to this mission already, she earned some time to relax.

Garnet set aside time for everyone to consult for fusion, or any other issue that could be resolved through meditation. She made sure to make routine checks on everyone's progress as well and made notes on what had been accomplished on each day. With this, it was the best way for Garnet to gauge how much longer they needed to prepare before leaving as soon as they could.

Six days had passed in the blink of an eye.

Steven stood with Garnet as the sun set over the horizon. Both looked at the ocean intently, but that was the furthest thing from their minds now.

"Steven. Do you feel you are ready?"

Steven's hands tightened into fists, but his expression remained firm and determined. "Depends on what you mean. To confront White Diamond, or… get Peridot back."

"Let's just say both."

Steven nodded. "I think I have a handle on Mom's powers to deal with White Diamond now. I know these are powers that can easily be abused, so I know my limits. But for the first time in a long time, I feel like… maybe I could even reason with her, so no one else has to die."

Garnet smiled. "Good answer."

"And I've been ready to save Peridot ever since that door came between us," Steven added; his voice much lower and restrained. "Garnet… every day that's passed, I worried that we're too late for her already. But… I can't know that for sure until I go back. It's not like we can travel back in time, so… it is what it is. We gotta live with the consequences."

"Your mother would be proud, Steven. We are all proud of you… and you know _she_ is, too."

Steven closed his eyes and tried to breathe in more deeply to keep his body relaxed. Now that more time as passed, Steven's had the time to properly digest every word he heard from Peridot. He rewatched his own message multiple times; it got to a point where Steven's dreams reflected Peridot's daydreams. That made it harder for Steven to properly focus or calm down over the past six days, but it kept his goal fresh in his mind. It was a proper counterpart of Peridot's methods to keep herself together just by looking at a picture of Steven.

"Garnet… are we ready to go?" Steven asked this question every day. In the earlier days, he asked multiple times. This was the first time he asked today.

Finally, Garnet gave him the answer he desired. "It's finally time. Let's bring Peridot home, Steven."

Steven nodded in agreement as he walked with Garnet to find and assemble their other teammates.

An odd question that lingered in the back of Steven's mind all week finally came to the forefront.

"Hey, Garnet? In my video, Peridot said you knew her birthday in Earth time. She was gonna tell me, but her voice gave out again by then… so she told me to ask you."

Garnet smirked at that. "Did she, now? Hm… it's only fair to tell you, at least. When she emerged from Homeworld, it was August the 27th on Earth."

"–Whoa! She's got an August birthday, too?!" Steven was amazed.

"It's fitting, given what gemstone represents August," Garnet noted. "You two bookend each side of the month, almost."

"That's _so cool_ …"

"At least it won't be hard fitting candles on either of your cakes," Garnet said with a chuckle. "In a few weeks' time after we wish you a happy 15th birthday, we will give Peridot her very first cake in recognition of her 14th. I think she'll enjoy a party in her honor."

"Yeah," Steven agreed and laughed along. "Peridot can finally have a party that really is all… about…"

A few beats of silence later…

" _SHE'S YOUNGER THAN ME?!"_

* * *

"Pppft! Yeah right! Like a marathon is gonna 'teach me a lesson about respect'! First thing I do when I reach the end of this is call her a freakin' pebble! She's the dumbest Diamond _ever!_ "

Peridot, still in her upgraded default outfit but without her visor, was running for her life in a grassy field where the white fog was so thick, the gem could barely see what was ahead of her. Everything was devoid of color, save for herself. She quickly found out it was a _bad_ idea to use her gemstone as a flashlight in foggy conditions, and while Peridot would never admit it, but she felt very vulnerable with her eyes exposed like this.

The entire time Peridot had been running, a thunderous, almost deafening beat of what sounded like a taiko drum getting slammed every 10 seconds or so (which became much more frequent if Peridot happened to stop moving) echoed behind her. And Peridot knew something was chasing her. It didn't matter if Peridot was in fact on Homeworld or in another one of White Diamond's illusions; the little gem knew if whatever was behind her caught her, she'd be shattered.

Finally, the beats got quieter and quieter as a sign came into view, all lit up for Peridot's convenience. There was no longer any indication the was being chased, so Peridot slowed to a stop to catch her breath. She was just glad she didn't trip and fall this time; that natural blunder of hers became the technician's undoing.

"Okay… okay… now what've you got for me, Dorky Diamond…" Peridot honestly preferred these punishments she got for mouthing off to White Diamond over behaving. Being held captive was one boring gig, but it was beyond cathartic for Peridot to just mock and insult White Diamond every chance she got, and knew in her heart it was worth it, no matter what "punishment" she was subjected to.

"Find the 8 Touchscreens…? What does that even…" Something glowed from the ground; Peridot quickly tossed it up and found… the first alleged touchscreen.

"Okay… weird of you to give me a freebie, but whatever." Peridot was uncertain of what White Diamond's angle was here, but against her better judgment, she read the screen. "We shift to certain "oral engagements" that are–" Peridot cut herself off right there, blushing furiously. She glared up at the fog-covered sky and shook her fist angrily. " **WHITE!** For the last time, get out of my head, you **CLOD!** "

Suddenly, a chilling ambient sound filled the area. Some parts of the fog and area grew a little darker, and eventually evaporated to reveal a seemingly endless grassy field, but on the side were hills and trees. There might have even been buildings in the distance. The grass was still a dead faded gray color, but now the sky turned pure black. Peridot stored away the touchscreen, activated her gem's light emitter, and looked around quickly at every angle, only to find nothing right by her to jump scare the gem as White usually did.

Instead, after a few quiet moments, the entire setting seemed to distort with static as an agonizing noise that Peridot could hardly identify – perhaps a radio signal that was barely within range or feedback from a poorly-placed microphone – until it gradually got louder and buzzed inside Peridot's mind.

That alone was enough to make Peridot hightail it out of the area and run somewhere else. Peridot understood she was in a new "game" now; something oddly reminiscent of the first time she saw that close-up of White Diamond's face in Sapphire's vision.

Just as she thought of it, that very image flashed right in front of Peridot followed with a loud rumbling of thunder added with the static distortion. Peridot screamed and immediately ran in another direction; she found that the effect waned and eventually vanished the further she got.

Peridot remembered she was supposed to find touch screens; thankfully a black sky would make them easy to spot… assuming they weren't up the hills or between the trees, which Peridot knew meant there totally were touch screens in there.

Another hard lesson she learned: never run in the same direction for too long. The second Peridot saw a mere flicker of distortion, she started to veer off to another angle. One moment Peridot saw absolutely nothing but darkness on all sides of her… but the second a pulse of distortion hit, Peridot suddenly saw an absurdly tall white figure; slim as a twig, but all the more terrifying as her face was impossible to make out.

Peridot kept an eye on that figure and saw it flicker out of existence… only to appear _right beside_ her, causing one massive explosion of distortion and that brain-bursting noise. Peridot was glad she was running; that was the only reason she wasn't caught then and there, but she felt herself destabilize for that single moment.

"G-got it," she understood. "Collect the touchscreens… g-get caught, and I get poofed… or shattered!" Peridot wailed; she knew no one direction was totally safe anymore. Her eyes lit up, however, when another touchscreen came into view.

She sped up to snatch it and immediately made a U-turn to run the opposite direction; Peridot knew that face or that pale figure would be nearby after grabbing the screen.

Peridot grumbled as she tried to read the screen while keeping an eye on where she was running. "Steven… Lapis… Amethyst… Everyone… I'm sorry."

That actually made Peridot cry for real. "STOP THINKING MY STUFF RIGHT BEFORE I THINK IT, YOU MILKY HAG!"

Another distortion and following screech later, Peridot was off in another direction to find her next touchscreen.

All the while, White Diamond watched her captive from a distance. The actual Peridot had been poofed under mysterious circumstances since the day of her capture and remained in gemstone form all this time. This was the only way White could get any "fun" out of her hostage as she patiently waited for Pink Diamond's return.

" _You're quite the stubborn little worker gem… but I'll force you out if I have to. You can't stay in your shell forever; not from White Diamond. So, keep running your mouth… you'll come out eventually and I can meet you properly… Twilight."  
_

* * *

 **[ END LOG ]**

* * *

 **NOTES:**

And we are DONE with this! This is a new record for how quickly I finished a chaptered story. But that means GA3 looms over, and this fic saved you over 50k words to read all in one sitting, so you're welcome!

Just wanted to note some things since this is the final chapter of the side-story: Peridot's age? That was not me engineering this to make the pairing "okay" to people who get up in arms about humans x millennia-old gems. I made her 13 because it's funny. For me, anyway. Peridot could be any age in canon, honestly, but frankly it's just more amusing to have a gem the age of a human teenager hang with these much older gems and pretend she didn't just emerge from a rock a less than two decades ago.

I also went wild with references in these later chapters. Uh, the last bit is very much blatant. I'm just wondering if anyone's gonna catch on to where I based off Fluorite's story. Technically two works, but within the same franchise..

So, shit will get crazy in GA3: I hope the story has established that well enough. I am honestly surprised I made a dumb early scene in GA2 functional to the plot (aka takin' care of bismuth). This chapter is also roughly the size of GA1, so take that as you will.

I have at least two brand new fusions planned for GA3, and I'm really considering some new ones with Lapis and/or Bismuth but can't really think of how to even go about that. Also, an excuse to use Rainbow Quartz 2.0 and Sunstone (maaaaybe Obsidian, maaaybe)! So, yeah. There will be madness. Honestly, I didn't think I'd break so many hearts for GA2's end. It would be way too easy to conclude GA with a downer ending for 3... so I'm gonna give myself the challenge of somehow making GA3 end on a positive note in a satisfactory way. Don't I just love making it all harder for myself! I don't even want to think about how long GA3 will ultimately be, or how long it'll take to complete... after the way GA2 blew up, I'm not promising anything. Because I'll probably be way off the mark anyway.

So, I hope you enjoyed this little detour that expands the GA canon (in fact, this might as well be required reading for GA3)! It was a joy making semi-short chapters for the first time in ages! Astonishing how even after 20+ years of fic-writing, I'll still surprise myself with what I end up writing. Very fitting that I finished this on Valentine's Day too, hahaha. Seeya at GA3, readers!


End file.
